she who controls the frogs controls it all

At first I was like hmmmmmm but THEN

WOAH

Needed to reblog!!!

You can only reblog this today.

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

Have a great Mar10 Day, everyone!!! 🤓😎

I am the veteran

Veteran hear hear

To help is always right but START IN AMERICA FIRST

Too many have been serving themselves while pretending to serve others. Time to end the money laundering in this country, that has gone unchecked for way too long. Patriots must do what is right. There is no philanthropy on a deficit…only theft.

it’s talking heads kermit friday

🎼 Creed - One Last Breath🎤🎵

Source

Please reblog and add your nationality in the tags along with what you answered! I'm very curious about this; and it's not to shame anybody, so don't be rude!

If you don't do the reblog part it's not very good as a study 😭

American, can swim. Love to swim, actually. Hope this helps your study!

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis

(I’m an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)

- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back

Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.

E.g.

I f ing hate that we need to reblog this, people suck, but this will save lives.

DO NOT SCROLL PAST

Being female fucking sucks but yes this shit is important for everyone

Also, do not walk close to walls. It will be easier for someone so walk past you and push you against it or corner you.

If your gut is telling you to cross the street or change your path, do it. Don’t risk it. Your body knows.

If you can, buy a large umbrella and walk holding it. Studies say that predators are less likely to attempt an attack on someone that could fight back. Keys around your knuckles is fine but you’ll need to get very close to do damage. Umbrellas are more precise.

Avoid wearing headphones if you are alone on an empty street. Look aware.

Again: Stay. Away. From. Walls.

Entering an uber alone? Call your father (or anyone you trust) and say “hey dad! Yep, I’m almost there, I’m sending you the route.” outloud. Then proceed to send them the route so they can follow the uber drive. This will most likely intimidate the predator.

If you see someone in an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation, walk up to them and say “Betty, oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!”. If she gets slightly confused, you can whisper and let her know you’re trying to help and that she should follow along. Walk together to another station or away from where you are. The man will most likely not follow. I have done this one 2 times and can be very helpful.

If you are unsure she needs help, you can pass her a note saying something like “hey, I noticed this man beside you is making you uncomfortable. If you’d like help, fake a sneeze right now and I will come up to you and pretend we are friends.” This is a long note, but its an example. Be discrete. If she follows along, proceed with the previous tip. This is helpful when you’re in a crowded train and you notice harassment.

Help your sisters. Trust them. Trust yourself. Be safe.

If you ever feel unsafe or need help, anyone is welcome to run upto me and ask me for help! I’ll go all mama bear and keep you safe!!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/166g6Vo8Fb9H3FIZF2H6faEBHtFQSf7nVn_QxcJ9NMi0/edit?usp=sharing

I made this google doc covering 14 different self defense tips and tricks. it was made on January 15th, 2020 so it was before I decided I’d come back to tumblr jhjshdbjfh.

EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I REBLOG BECAUSE THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT!!!!!

i fucking hate this world. anyways R E B L O G

Just saw a video explaining why putting a key between each finger is more likely to hurt you than them (the keys will just get pushed back into your knuckles). A better way to hold them is to get your longest key and just clench your hand around it, like you’re making a fist. That’ll give you a lot more force and means you can use them in more scenarios (if someone grabs you from behind, you can use the key this way)

Not only for girls and women but also for boys and men.

i feel obligated to reblog this.

I hate that we need these things, but this is so so so important, it can literally save someone’s life

How to tell if your drink has been spiked:

1. The colour of it has changed

2. It’s become cloudy-looking

3. There more bubbles in it than should be

4. The ice in it sinks

If you are being followed, go to somewhere with high security like a jewellery store or a bar, if you can, and say what’s happening (the jewellery store and bar are best shots because they’re the most likely ones to believe you, the bar for obvious reasons and the jewellery store because there’s not likely to be a huge presence of toxic masculinity so you’ll be believed)

I hate it so much that i have to reblog this and that we still need this, but it’s so important!! Please everyone (yes also boys/men/enbys/genderfluids/everyone) stay safe out there!!

but I was never taught these things.

The first time I was groped, I was 10 years old. Do you feel sick yet? 10 years. What kind of fucker gropes a 10 y/o?

All I have learnt is to use my elbow or knee or fist or just duck and avoid contact. This post helped a lot, thanks.

It was the english teacher at my old school tho I did broke his nose and stabbed his stomach with a pen so

Also carry pointie / sharp or that which has a edge, it helps a lot, yk, just stab

-if you’re walking alone w/ headphones in, either have one earbud out at all times or have the music/podcast/audiobook/whatever you’re listening to on low and always listen for footsteps or other noises coming from behind you

-If there is a strange looking man in front of your building who doesn’t live there, walk around the block until he leaves so he can’t figure out that you live there and so he can’t kidnap you

-if a man is groping you against your will, go for the balls. always go for the balls. It’ll 1) hurt like hell, and 2) shock him to the point where you can probably run away and get help.

- carry pepper spray or some other type of weapon

As this site is full of readers,

1: if you’re reading a book with a large number of pages, you know, those BIG ONES, or with the hard cover, don’t leave it at home and never bring outside. I’m not saying to bring it everywhere, but if you are going to any possible dangerous places alone, bring them, in a purse or even by hand (to show it to everyone). Believe me, if you hit someone with it, it will hurt them!!

2: hairspray works just like pepper spray

3: if your being attacked, and you don’t have any pointed objects, neither training, put your fingers on the predators eyes and press it. With all your strength, it will leave them blind or disabled. Use it only if your life is in risk!

4:

5: the iPhones have a great setting that if you press it will call police, send them photos of your back and front cameras and send a message to the contacts you select saying your in danger; press 5times the “turn off” button and it will appear -sometimes you have to activate it before-

6:

I’m so happy to share these tips.

Don’t ignore pls it might save your of someone else’s life

truthfully, it’s a shame that this is a problem in the first place.

thank you to everyone who gave tips, and please reblog! it may help someone in the long run, and maybe even save their life.

DO NOT SCROLL PAST

I am a guy, and ladies, please, read and learn from this post!!!! Please!! I have a sister and she has a family, these are things she teaches them, as she was taught, as all children should be taught!! Please, please, please reblog!!! It is sickening to me that we need this post, but this IS needed, so please, PLEASE share and reblog!!

You can read up to 500 words per minute

THIS MADE ME CRY WHAT THE FUCK

I. FEEL. LIKE. A GOD.

Oh thank heavens someone decent reblogged this…

I feel like this is also why playing video games like Pokemon taught me to be a fast reader. I was impatient so I set the text speed to high and just went with it. It freaking works.

Well my week has been exciting so far.

I had some other work to do this morning (Figuring out some algae stuff involving 1000 L mesocosm up a mountain) so mystery species has been sitting alone in the lab all morning…..

Made it up to the lab today to find this. It’s probably from the fridge defrosting and not the creepy “algae”.

June 13th Update.

According to a few colleagues it’s either a plant, an algae, or a fungi. So that’s been helpful.

After a day with some sunlight I think I might be seeing some chloroplasts.

It seems to like the nutrient solution I added yesterday though!

I for one welcome our new plant, algae, or fungi overlords.

I was about to say “in a sensible lab people wouldn’t waste time with this, they’d autoclave the bottles and move on” but on reflection I can’t think of a single bio lab I’ve been in that wouldn’t immediately go “ooh, mystery algae, that sounds like a fun challenge; let’s devote multiple hours to identifying it for no reason”.

I need updates tell me about the algae

The mystery algae/plant/fungi/alien is stuck in the university growth chamber. With everything going on I probably won’t get to check in on it until September, possibly not until 2021.

So by that time it will have developed what, writing?

God I hope so, then I can train it to write my thesis!

This entire post is the most on-brand biologist thing I have seen in my entire godforsaken life. The moment this pandemic is over these guys have another crisis ready for us.

Can we get an update cause this is crazy

Update: Due to the global pandemic, the algae has been left alone in a weird hidden growth chamber for a year and will likely stay there for another year. Enjoy that information!

Oh god oh fuck oh Jesus fuck

I am reblogging, now that it IS 2021, hoping that this year we will get a new update on the weird algae, and so I can keep track of this post!! 😅 Not sure if I should be loving this post or freaking out from it, lmfao

Reblogging again, July 15, 2022. OP, did they mystery algae take over the lab? (Is the lab in Hawkins? 😉) Just curious about it, if around, would love an update. Thanks OP! (🤔)

I present to Tumblr, "Hylians Kitchen" (or re-present, not sure if this all ready made the rounds years ago when BOTW launched 🤷‍♂️) Artist is unknown, it was merely sent to me by my nephew, but if anyone knows the artist, or you are the artist, and want it taken down, please reach out! 😊 Otherwise, please enjoy!

Mom Adopts a “Dog”

So y’all keep blowing up my notes with the various Family Lore stories I’ve been telling, so I guess I should tell one on my parents now.

My Mother’s Father was part of the United Auto Worker’s Union, and during the 50′s and 60′s, was on strike a lot. My point is, grandpa got himself an entirely deserved reputation for being a sucker who loved animals, so people would dump thier pets on him. Hence, my mother grew up in a house with pets such as Picket the one-eyed tomcat, Tweety the Bald canary, Dummy the cat, Stupid Son of Dummy, Spooky Garbage Dog and Chiquita the Tarantula.  Eventually Grandma put her foot down when Grandpa brought home Gerta the Saint Bernard.

I say all this because it provides some context for how the following occured.

Mom and Dad had just moved in together (my parents dated for six years and were engaged for 13 days, driving everyone on both sides insane), and unfortunately, My mother’s German Shepherd, Cops, has just passed away due to bone cancer.  After mourning for a bit, Mom and Dad decided to get a dog together, as a couple.  

For context, my father had never owned a dog in his life.  His mother had ‘Pretty Bird” the budgie as a child but parrots are alien life forms, not pets.

So they go to the Palo Alto Animal shelter to adopt.  The year was 1987, and at the time, Palo Alto was… not a great place.  Lots of drugs, gangs and poor civic managment.  Mom told me that she learned to identify different types of gunfire while living there. They get there, and mom explains that she’s always had a preference for Big Dogs, and the guy’s face lights up.  Oh Yes, he says, We have a Big Dog.  For expirienced owners, yep, adoptable today, here we’ll give you a discount even-

Somehow my parents were not suspicious about this.

They were shown to the Animal in question, a Gorgeous blue-sable beastie with pretty golden eyes who immediately pressed herself against the fence and gave them the best PUH-LEEEEEEASE TAKE ME HOME puppy eyes 100lbs of canine can do.  Mom and Dad fall in love instantly.  They sign all the paperwork and take her home for $10, and name her “Mazel” as in “Mazel Tov.”

Within the hour, it becomes clear that something is amiss.

Cops had lived with his kibble stored in a plastic garbage can in the garage for six years without incident.  Mazel figured out how to open doors and got the locking lid off the can in six minutes, horking down about four pounds of the stuff before my mother notices that it’s been weirdly quiet.  Most dogs bark at or chase squirrels.  Mazel stalked and caught one the second day, presenting it to my mother like an offering.  Mazel knew all her commands but would clearly stop to consider before obeying, and trained my dad to give her good treats within a week.  The locks on the side-yard gate were undone, and she took a stroll around the neighborhood, but always retuned home for dinner.

After a week of gradually realizing that Mazel was smarter than most of the professors my mom worked with, they took her to the Vet for a routine checkup.

Dr. Hamada walked into the exam room, dropped the clip-board and said “Where the HELL did you get a Wolf?”

After a bit of prodding and a very-angry-dr.hamada-calling-the-pound, they determined Mazel was a high-content hybrid, probably with a husky, but was going to be a lil shit her entire life.  OK, said Hamada, I don’t like destroying animals and you’ve got a lot of expirience with dogs, so I’m okay with letting you keep her, but you should keep her away from small children because her Prey Drive could kick in.

Two years later, mom got pregnant with me.

Mazel noticed instantly, and reacted by digging a large hole in the yard and catching even more squirrels for mom, because she needed the protein or something.  That what you do when the Alpha Bitch is preggers, right?  Dig a den and ply her with food?  On the advice of my grandmother, my mom stayed overnight at the hospital once I was delivered, and dad went home with a shirt that had moms and my scent on it.  Mazel spent the whole night puzzling over it.

The next morning, when mom came home with me, there was the sudden and instantaneous recognition of PUPPY!!!!!! :D:D:D!!!!! PUUUUUUUPPY!!!!!!  and Mazel turned into the most aggressively maternal being I’ve ever met.  Playing with me on the blanket, sitting under my chair at meals (I was a messy eater), sleeping under my crib, teaching me to walk by letting me hang onto her fur and shuffle around.

Dr. Hamada thought mom was a madwoman, until he saw me holding Mazel’s mouth open and sticking my face in so i could look at her teeth.  He gave up when my mom announced she was pregnant with my sister.

I’m making living with a Wolfdog sound awesome, but it did come with some drawbacks:

PROS of growing up with a wolfdog, as a small child in the 90′s

When she was 17, Mom and Dad decided to add another room on to the house.  They rigged up the overhead tether so she could be outside but not underfoot for the contruction guys.  One morning, mom came out to notice them all milling in the side yard entrance, muttering worriedly.  When mom asked what was wrong, one of them explained that Carlos forgot to bring the Hamburger.  What do you need a hamburger for?  Asked mom, and they pointed down the side yard to where Mazel was sitting, doing her best Viscious Alpha Bitch Stare.

Apparently they’d never realized that she was on the VERY end of her tether there and couldn’t actually get to them, and had been scamming them for a big mac a day for a month.  Mom had my six-year-old sister pull her away to show she wasn’t dangerous and tired her best not to laugh but kind of failed.

Mazel ended up living to be 19 and a half, and except for some minor arthritis, remarkably hale until the day she passed away in her hole in the back yard while taking a nap.  I maintain that Death had to wait until she was sleeping to get a crack at her, or she would’ve taken his scythe for a chew toy.

Frank Oz and Jim Henson ad-lib as Fozzie and Kermit in this test footage for the first Muppet movie, and honestly it's pure gold.

This is a professional shitpost roleplay.

I’m crying becuase this is something I’ve never seen before, something original of that era of the Muppets with both Oz and Henson working on one of my favorite movies, but also becuase this is the funniest thing I have seen in mONTHS.

I love the Muppets

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Wtf

When Russia makes this post illegal

I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS

I will reblog this every goddamn time I find it on my dash

This is even better now that Putin is stepping down

HOW AM I JUST NOW SEEING THIS WTF