So, I can't log into this account anywhere else for some reason. I'm primarily on my other one- @mayflowerprince -which has some Gore shit on it so it's ok if you don't want to follow there. I do have an art instagram though, alt.mr, if anyone wants to follow there instead. Peace out.
Trauma often messes with one’s ability to say “no”.
You either consciously or subconsciously think, “I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings” or “If I say no, then they’ll hurt me” or “It won’t really be that bad” or “I can handle this” or “I need to do this to prove myself” or “I deserve this”, or you forget that “no” is even an option.
It’s still not your fault if you didn’t say “no”, even if you think maybe you could have. It’s still not your fault. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and you didn’t bring it upon yourself. It was never your fault.
I just want all girls to feel the importance of reclaiming their bodies, whether it’s getting a new tattoo, taking a yoga class, eating a piece of cake, fucking someone who makes you laugh, buying a new vibrator, or something as simple as getting a new body lotion. Show yourself kindness and love your damn self.
no offense but why is being alive so consistently bad
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This this this
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Wow so real
(via coffeefreekid)
Tumblr’s love affair with comic sans and stars.
just adding a few to the collection
reblogging for reference.
adding some more
adds some
what the fuck
Trust me. You want to unmute.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited.
Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright?
Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…
BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’
Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.
And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’
They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]
reblogging again coz this time it has audio transcription (bless you) and it’s still forever hilarious omg
every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.
“women can’t drive”
It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.
“women never shut up”
Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.
“women are shallow”
Lol next
“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”
Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women: Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion
“women are too emotional”
Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.
I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.
I don’t even drink tea but when its served up this well I feel I should
break free of this cycle of disappointment. give yourself a break. you are doing the best you can so stop giving up. each morning consists of a new beginning, a chance for you to right your wrongs, to forgive and apologize. don’t have grudges, just forgive, forgive and don’t let it define who you are. you are more than anger, you are more than a word that they give you, you are more than a word that they steal from you. wake up and try again. just try to make a life you are happy living.
- don’t hug me i’m scared fandom with the humanoid notebook and clock - fluffy chicken day - those blue pictures that said ‘reblog if you’re in the ______ fandom!’ - all the tumblr island, tumblr university, etc. plans that eventually led to the planning of a tumblr convention which is what gave us the beautiful shitshow that was dashcon. the dashcon ballpit was overall tumblr’s best meme in my time on here imo, second only to sonic for real justice - tumblr trick or treating on halloween¿? - TUMBLR PROM - everyone remembers mishapocalypse but remember the all-out war that went down a year later when people couldn’t decide if there should be another one?? that was honestly almost as scary as the actual mishapocalypse - speaking of misha collins, when he posted his phone number online and this entire website collectively lost its shit. everyone had to post their text convos w/ misha - FRANCIEUM VS FORFUTUREFERENCEONLY - “the only adult supervision we have on tumblr is john green” (yikes) - the time everyone was gonna purposely not post anything the sunday after the guy who played uncle vernon in the harry potter movies died because of the quote “no post on sundays” but then everyone like……forgot and posted stuff anyway - the tumblr version of some nights by fun - moreos guy - when the 50th anniversary of doctor who fell on the same day as some one direction thing and everyone got really offended at this facebook post someone had screenshotted that said like “1d will be around way longer than ur shitty alien tv show” lmao - “swiggity swag, what’s in the bag” - when yahoo was buying tumblr and everyone was flipping shit and making posts saying shit like “yahoo better not go ToO fAR!!! they have an army, but we have a hulk!!!” honestly if i was yahoo and considering buying a website for more than a million dollars and then saw that that was what the userbase was like i would have backed the fuck out of that business deal - those “men of tumblr” posts, you know the ones i mean - when everyone hated miranda cosgrove?? was there a reason behind that or,, - back in 2013 everyone was planning to do this “tumblr day” on march 5th where you were supposed to write a big t on your hand and then if you saw anyone else with it you were supposed to “hug and exchange urls” lmao. im pretty sure no one actually did this but if that doesn’t describe the general social climate of tumblr back then idk what does
-Let’s not forget when tumblr decided to have a code: “I like your shoelaces.”
I genuinely hate that I was here for all of these and that I’m still here
Jenna, Waitress (via hplyrikz)
I will never not reblog this.
I remember watching this doc on Vice.
