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Look at this beautiful angel

my dick is 1 atom wide but an unknowable amount of lightyears long. monofilament dick gang. i roll over in bed and slice the milky way in half

A tall man who thinks being 6'4" is a personality: I’m 6'4" Me, leaving them on read:

Yeah but I haven’t needed a claw to reach the top shelf since I was 7 so stay mad about it shrimp

And I haven’t needed a 6'4" man since I got my reaching claw.

Went straight for their kneecaps on that one

What’s the mood after seeing Infinity War

Who are you calling? 🤔

“Thanos abuses animals John”

the whole point of religion is being highly aware that there is a higher power which by default should humble your postition as a creation on this earth so I don’t even understand how people can produce so much arrogance and superiority once they have decided to indulge in religious practices 

a concept: heavy rainfall when you’re tucked up in bed. like if u agree.

I don’t get why some people don’t like barbie movies!!!

Like

seriously

this

shit

is

AMAZING

AnD

so

FuCKinG

IMPORTANT!!!!

Don’t

even

trY

tO

Convince

mE

OTHERWISE!

THIS WAS A BARBIE APPRECIATION POST!!!

Edit: Most of the gifs in this post belong to @lyriatopaz , please reblog this version to support her, Thanks❤

Imagine being mad at women for being nice to each other and tweeting about it:

Then imagine that tweet backfiring! Lmbo

The entire thread is filled with women complimenting each other. I loved it! ☺️☺️

You have the power to heal others. You are a villain.

I am the American healthcare system

Omg

you: are you a hoodie, plaid, or leather jacket bisexual?

me, an intellectual:

Same

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

self care is swallowing lit matches every 5 minutes so that ur cells can see whatever the fuck they’re doing in there

me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

Hi! Just as a warning, if any of you all plan to see Deadpool, there are some pretty heavy suicide themes to the film. They are NOT treated as a joke in any manner, in fact it’s taken (for a Deadpool film) quite seriously, but I wanted to warn you all in advance that there is a scene in which a character attempts suicide and makes references throughout the film about wanting to die. I do think the movie is very much worth seeing, but I wanted to share because this matter is quite upsetting and triggering to many and I thought a warning was in order.

Bless you for this post

Straight men who always joke about hating their girlfriend are so fucking weird like imagine having a girlfriend and not treasuring and loving her every day smh grow up

“treasuring” and “loving” your girlfriend will result in her quickly leave you. Girls HATE guys who treat them like goddesses. They view it as pathetic and weak.

I hate it when people say shit like this like we get it you’re an

yall hurt him so bad he deleted his Manchild Manifesto

what the fuck

how could you waste a egg

a what

Dear hearing aid providers: stop only advertising your hearing aids for old people - from a deaf 19 year old who’s used hearing aids since she was 7

Note: you don’t have to use hearing aids, or have any form of hearing loss to be able to reblog this

Deaf people using hearing aids should be as normalized as people with vision loss wearing glasses.