i wanna get more hickeys but my warrior’s instincts keep causing me to effortlessly dodge every bite and scratch with beastly precision
Floofability score: sheep
Although logic, common sense, and basic self-preservation instincts tell us better, we must agree with you, Good Sir
A point we cannot refute
i thought of a funny quote for this image: “I tell-a you, madeline, they wouldn’t let women into the army back in-a my day, so I became a man”
it's berry season here. i've eaten so many berries. i have a 5 pound box of blueberries next to me now.
berry time
Whatcha got there?
NOT FOR BEAR!!!
kind of crazy that benny fallout new vegas would have the entire mojave under his thumb if he wasnt so obsessed with using his stupid little cuckboy 9mm
fucker should’a learned to doubletap
What's really funny is that he actually did if I recall correctly. It's just that his gun sucks that much and that the courier is just that lucky that you survive. Maria least dependable gun of all time
his gun, Maria, actually has a high crit rate and if like me you have a high crit build it can last you as a back up pistol for a while. I was like level 30ish when I stopped really using it and just had it on me as a keepsake. Benny is just the unluckiest s.o.b. in that there whole Mojave
oh so what im hearing is that despite being the epitome of New Vegas Swagger benny is actually the unluckiest motherfucker alove and would absolutely SUCK at gambling in any form
Oh totally. And like he was in charge of a casino too. He would still be the kind of guy to go double or nothing twice in a row at roulette since he got lucky once and wonder why he's back at his room with no pocket money for the week.
Hell he just keeps fucking up so much by like choice that if you follow his tracks and meet the people he hired and say "Hey I'm trying to find Benny," they're like "oh that son of a bitch?! Yeah I can help with that!" and roll up into benny's own goddamn casino and one of his own biggest supporters can see your list of evidence of his bullshit that he's like "Well shit, yeah you can have all your guns and just walk in here and kills his ass. shit."
hell! did he even need to kill the courier? They didn't even know what was up with the package. They didn't need to die for him to get his hand on the platinum chip. If he just let your character deliver the chip he could've made his move before Mr. House could've stopped him.
He had so much going for him and he fumbled it constantly due to be a thoughtless asshole and backstabbing literally everyone involved in his big masterplan.
cosigned bc that was some real shit u said. it is genuinely great that if benny was just slightly less of a murderous backstabbing dickhead his plan might have actually worked but his downfall was believing in His Own Swag Too Hard
This just in: benny white boy actually can't bust it down sexual style and is not goated with the sauce
I had to build some cat furniture and it made me think of a heavenly cat tree.
Place: Tree of Heaven
this is so cute and wholesome and I'm dead over it I'm crying
This is the exact opposite of hiding coins at the beach for your child with a metal detector
Respectfully King Arthur himself could not pull me out of you
This is fucking hilarious
Get you a man who's like
so funny to me when white american christians are like “ooh i incorporate my religious trauma into my art and thats why i draw these stained glass gothic church gold multi eyed reneissance sculpture angels agnus dei” like i know your protestant southern california ass didnt have any of that. go make some art about this
Damn way to read the assignment and go above and beyond.
the bleakness and sanitized feel of most American protestant churches really is an underused medium.
benny fires twice at someone point blank with his stupid little gun and they survive, and then track him down. “the game was rigged from the start” not in your favor. idiot. kicks him down a flight of stairs
You know, it occurs to me that the known internet phenomenon of Reddit “am I the asshole?” posts having completely misleading headers is actually a really great example of a far less known but far more common practice of extreme journalistic spin in cases where there are large monetary incentives to diminish the story in question.
Like, if you see a Reddit post titled “Am I the asshole for buying my wife a new dress?”, the post is pretty much always something totally deranged like: “I (48) really dislike the way my wife (20) dresses, because I think it’s too revealing and makes her look slutty, which was fine when we started dating five years ago, but it makes me feel like she’s going to cheat on me now that we’re married. I’ve politely asked her to get new clothes multiple times, and every time she refused because she said she liked her clothes, and didn’t want to waste money buying new ones. Yesterday I couldn’t take it anymore so I threw out a bunch of her old dresses and bought her a new one that was more modest looking. She started crying because one of the dresses I threw out had been left to her by her mom who died when she was a teen, but I couldn’t have known that it had sentimental value. She said that I should have asked, but obviously if I asked she’d have just told me not to throw out any of her clothes, including the ones that weren’t sentimental. Also, the more modest dress I bought was pretty expensive, and she never thanked me for it. Am I the asshole here, or is she being unreasonable?”
Similarly, whenever you see a headline like “Woman Wins Millions From McDonald’s Because Her Hot Coffee Was Too Hot”, if you dig a bit, you’ll almost always quickly find out that what actually happened was: A 79-year-old ordered coffee which, unbeknownst to her, was being served extremely dangerously hot, because McDonald’s was trying to have coffee that stayed warm over a long commute without spending any extra money on cups with better insulation. The coffee spilled on the old woman’s lap, giving her severe third degree burns over a huge portion of her body, including her genitals. She got to a hospital and they managed to save her life with skin grafting, but she became disabled from the accident, and her genitals and thighs were permanently disfigured. She tried to settle with McDonald’s for her medical costs, and McDonald’s refused to cover any portion of her medical expenses at all, and so she sued. At trial, the jury discovered that this same exact thing had happened seven hundred times before, and McDonald’s had still decided not to change their policy because paying out individual suits was cheaper than moderately reducing their coffee profits. As a result, the jury awarded punitive damages designed to penalize McDonald’s two days worth of their coffee profits, in addition to the woman’s medical costs.
I think it’s largely the same phenomenon, but I know a lot of people who are familiar with the first case, but don’t know to look for the second. If you see some totally outrageous “how could a person ever sue over this stupid thing?” case, you should immediately be incredibly suspicious that that’s all that actually happened, because a lot of the time, it absolutely isn’t. The people who have the most incentive to make their opponent look not only wrong, but completely crazy for having any sort of grievance at all, are often the actually unreasonable ones.
Anyway this is all to say that if I see ANY of y’all automatically siding with McDonald’s over the recent case where 4-year-old girl was severely burned by their chicken nuggets because “hurr durr dumb kid didn’t know that chicken nuggets were hot, people sue over anything lol”, I will grab that McBoot you’re licking and shove it all the way up your McFuckingAss.
lawyer fun fact! sometimes you need to sue someone before your insurance will pay for your medical bills (because your insurance would rather the other person pay for your medical bills so they don’t have to)! sometimes you need to sue because what you’d get from insurance isn’t enough to pay for all of your medical bills! sometimes you want to change a specific thing, like a dangerous practice or defective part, and that’s not going to happen if you just ask nicely!
most truly ridiculous lawsuits get screened before they’re even filed (because someone goes to an attorney and that attorney is like “yeah you don’t have a case here”) or very shortly after they’re filed (because judges can toss out cases that have zero merit). 99% of the time, if it sounds ridiculous but somehow it went all the way to someone suing and winning in a jury trial, it probably wasn’t actually as absurd as it sounds.
bro i didnt share my new son $1.07 with you guys hold on
yall arent ready for her . u cannot emotionally prepare for him .
her name is $1.07 and he is the worlds least animal
he is so scared all the time
no sorry i dontreally consume any media outside of letting this purple fungus grow in my lunggs
My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."
and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"
trying to figure out the funniest crackpot stance on who is the current Roman emperor, and accepting suggestions (tenuous historical justification required)
Jeb!
impatient man: bus driver can you go faster im late for work
worlds most obedient bus driver: whatever you say boss
guy on the bus who turns in to a hungry pack of wild hyenas whenever hes traveling faster than 30mph:



















