DOOR

Huh! Good god!

WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

Getting into BUILDINGS

what emotion is this supposed to make me feel because goddamn this is a lot of emotions and i cannot tell what they are

had to watch a sea urchin fertilization lab for school and the way they dispose of the fertilized urchins is putting them in a tub labeled “used” lmao

cruelty

slutty urchins banished to the whore chamber

how do i tell my mom that this “minimalist wooden nativity set” she put up just looks like a forest of dildos

merry christmas everyone this post has so many notes that my younger cousins saw it independently of me showing it to them, recognized me from the family photos, and confronted me about it at a family gathering a few years ago 

gays born in the 1990s be like *sits in an uncomfortable chair just because it looks cool*

somehow knowing that tumblr is being kept around mostly as a testing ground for advertisers and corporations doesn’t even make me feel that exploited, because every social media site is exploitive. but being basically lab rats to test shit on before it’s refined for use in polite society is by far the funniest possible way to be exploited.

#yeah maybe i’m a marketing lab rat but at least my dash is in fucking chronological order

this ad appeared right after i read this post.

so yeah, they’re testing something, but in true lab rat fashion we have no fucking clue what

light yagami is so fucking stupid in like a month they narrowed it down from like it could be anyone in the world.. to it could be anyone in japan to it could be anyone in the kanto region to it could be any student in the kanto region to its honestly probably one of the family members of these two policemen and my god this mans son is so fucking weird whats wrong with him like honestly i think L should have just taken the risk and hit light with a car one day and been like huh funny the kira murders stopped right this policemans son got hit by a car i asked my chauffeur to drive into him funny how that works out

When I’m bored I paint arms onto VeggieTales screencaps

god dammit no now they can do too many things like jack off and hit you

BUZZFEED: Top 2 Things Vegetables Would Do If They Had Arms

there’s a lady on the train knitting so aggressively and quickly that her needles clack like some sort of cartoon character and I am super intimidated

she smashed out a shawl in like 35 minutes and now she’s aggressively eating a sandwich. i cant

that sandwich is gone. packet of chips? gone. fuel for the knitting machine that she is. she’s at it again

Literally nothing makes me happier than the idea of hunting Elon Musk for sport. I am completely serious. The thought actively brings joy to my day.

I'd even give him a backpack of food, maybe a day's worth. I'd even leave all his little gadgets on him. You'd only get connection with satellite anyway. He's got to feel confident or it's no fun.

Would you toy with him a bunch, or just go straight-in for the kill?

Oh you absolutely draw it out are you kidding? You let the initial confidence erode into loneliness as the food and batteries run low, and helplessness when they run out, then fear when he realizes I gave him a canteen but no water. Am I trying to prolong the hunt? Or is it a trap to draw him out towards the rivers? The answer is both.

I’d let him get clever. Maybe he can start a fire with the electronics, maybe he read that he can brew the pine needles into tea for some extra calories. Maybe hes one of those guys that carries a multitool he never uses. Maybe he whittles a branch into a crude spear and manages to catch a salmon. Maybe he learns how many little bones they have.

More likely he goes hungry. That’s when you start fucking with him. You sneak into his camp at night. You leave him protein bars. Good ones. You make him feel watched. You make him feel desperate.

You wait for the full moon. Then you break out the horns and dogs and you learn how fast he can really run.

I can never forget how the only method Tumblr has of preventing you from downloading copyrighted content from an audio post is to have a message on the source code saying "please don't download this we'll get in trouble"

This is not a joke

“I’m a cult survivor.”

“Oh really? Which one?” they ask with interest.

“I was evangelical.”

“…Oh.”

It’s weird, the way people react when I tell people that. They want the sensational things– weird sex rituals and record-breaking mass weddings and Ancient Aliens-esque creation myths. Evangelical Christianity is mainstream. It’s normal and commonplace. Therefore, it’s something people see as benign. That’s something that bugs the fuck out of me, both as a survivor and a researcher– to most people who haven’t been part of a high-demand group, cult just means “recently formed religious group with odd beliefs.” 

The Church of Scientology, as an example, isn’t a cult because they believe in Xenu. They’re a cult because of how thoroughly they control every aspect of their members’ lives. So do a lot of evangelical groups. So do a lot of multi-level marketing companies. So do some political activist spaces. Any group can become cult-like if the right imbalance of power is present– a LARP group, a birdwatching society, a knitting class, et cetera.

There was going to be a point to this post.

#best Star Wars quote ever

didn’t the jedi go “extinct” within his lifetime? like? i literally don’t know a lot about star wars, but context clues indicate the jedi weren’t shit.

One of the important things to know about the Star Wars universe is that the timeline doesn’t make any fucking sense. They pretend that the Jedi are some lost history thing, despite the fact that they had a huge fucking temple on the capital of the galaxy and were majorly involved with the government. Han Solo calls a lightsaber an “ancient weapon” like it’s a forgotten relic, but he was 13 during the Clone Wars, the Jedi were everywhere during that time.