Aight i’m officially calling this, add my snap cause i’ll be deleting this app soon

ALSO IM ON TWITTER AND SORTA INSTAGRAM

Twitter: @ominousclouds

Instagram: @matt_ominous

You guys ever seen that really old movie…

Slenderman is a tall good boy and there’s nothing wrong with tormenting and killing amateur filmmakers

What did amateur filmmakers ever do to you

I live in New York City

The other day I went to McDonald’s with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like “HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU” and I was like wow I can’t let this guy outmatch me so I yelled “I’LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IF I MAY” you know, like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like “CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEAL INSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES” and I was so sleep deprived I essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said “HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR” and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store “WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER-MAN” and since purple is the more superior color that’s how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I’m now the poster child for being social and I’ve only been asked once why I’m not in a relationship yet but I know it’s gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it’s because whenever I eat in the dining hall I spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I’m supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I’ve essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year

there’s more information in this post than there was in the library of alexandria

op did you breathe typing this because I didn’t while reading it

I don’t need to breathe.

i love how you guys talk shit about cartoon style and animation but what the fuck is with this phineas and ferb obsession, The Ugliest Childrens Show Ever Animated.

Fun fact: In one interview the creators mentioned that one reason everyone’s heads are shaped like really recognizable shapes (Candace is the letter p, Phineas is obviously just a triangle) is so its way easier for younger kids to draw them. Not being able to to draw your favorite characters when you’re little can be really frustrating and kind of put you off drawing all together.

Suck it OP

Reblog this post with

@staff SMD yerrr

@staff SMD yeerrrrrr

INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR

I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE 

Boku no Macademia fans dont know the classics 

He either said all that very quickly or the slap occurred very slowly

batman explains anarchism while slapping robin 5 times

My heart goes out to the 27 victims of the recent ligma outbreak. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Once again all you have to offer is thoughts and prayers. Smh

There’s a ligma outbreak, and this is all you can do???

What’s ligma? Is there a donation thing?

Ligma BALLS

My heart goes out to the 28 victims of the recent ligma outbreak. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS T I M E

NO IT’S TOO EARLY STOP RIGHT THERE

IT’S TIME

IT IS TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S NOT TIME IT’S JULY

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

IT’S TIME

NOT YET

IT’S TIME

IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY. STOP.

ITS TIME. ITS BEEN TIME FOR MONTHS.

IT’S TIME GUYS

ITS TIME

IT’S TIME Y’ALL

IT IS TIME

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FUCKERS

ITS TIME YOU FUCKERS

IT’S TIME ASSHOLES

ITS TIME

IT’S FUCKING TIME

IT’S TIME

TO GET SPOOPY

@thefingerfuckingfemalefury

THE TIME IS HERE :D

THE MAJESTIC DANCE OF THE SKELETONS

ITS TIME

ITS TIME

Red Vs. Blue gets it. 

quick frills/layering walkthrough I posted on twt but never got around to putting in here :0

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

“And remember: the sky is the limit! You can be anything you want to be!”

“Thank you. I want to be a secretary.”

That stopped them short. “What?”

“A secretary,” she repeated.

“But…” they trailed off, dumbfounded. “Why? You could be a CEO, a scientist, a law–”

“I don’t want to be a CEO,” she said. “I want to be a secretary.”

They scoffed. “You want to answer phones all day?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

“Schedule appointments?”

“I like organizing.”

“Be a second banana?”

An affirmative nod. “I’m skilled at helping.”

“I just don’t understand,” they said. “HOW could you be okay with all of this?!”

“I enjoy the work.”

“BUT YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE!”

“I know.”

“Then WHY?!”

She shrugged.

“Because I want to be a secretary.”

Honestly though, this is very similar to my mom’s experience. She’s always been super bright, but has realized as she’s gotten older that intellectual pursuits just aren’t her jam. She dropped out of her PhD program to have kids, and although she has her master’s and was a pretty good school psychologist, she hated having to make huge decisions. She’s a church secretary now and loves it, and she’s GOOD at it; she’s letting her school psych certification permanently expire this year with zero regrets. If you can be anything you want, that includes the things we don’t tend to value as highly as a society. Not everybody is built for or wants the “respectable” careers.

My grandma did this to me, saying that i didn’t want to get stuck on the outside, making coffee and filing papers. The thing is, that’s exactly what I’ve always enjoyed the most, making and organizing things. That would be enough for me.

Nobody seems to realize that if you tell people they can be anything they want to be they will. And not everyone WANTS to be doctors or lawyers or CEOs or scientists. Sometimes, they just want to be a secretary.

it took me a LOT of therapy before i was able to shrug off the effects of the Gifted Child Upbringing enough to realize that what i really wanted to be was a house husband and Local Queerdad who writes novels sometimes. god, i’m so much happier now.

ain’t nothing wrong with an ordinary life. don’t let anybody tell you you have to be the top dog to be worth anything.

Io, Grove of Ulan-Tan

From the Whisper mission

For anyone not so familiar with cat behavior, this cat is out of its mind excited to do this. It’s much more rare for cars to wag their tails but it means the same as it does when a dog does it. This cat is curious and proud and playing. It keeps looking at its owner too, like “LOOK AT ME, DAD” and it’s so rare to get videos of cats this happy. This is fucking rad

Nope.. wagging tails means anger or irritation in cat body language.

hey y’all, hope you don’t mind me stepping in!

you’re both right :) a wagging tail means the cat is highly stimulated (think coiled spring, ready to go off). depending on the situation, this can be interpreted differently - just like people can smile nervously at job interviews vs. happily grin at friends.

in most cases, it’s safe to interpret overstimulation as ‘you’re doing something to amp up the cat & it wants you to stop’ (ex. unwanted petting). it should be seen as a warning; all that pent-up energy COULD be released as a swat or bite.

BUT in this case, that tail-wagging ‘frustration’ is the stimulation that comes from problem-solving (where can I jump? is it safe to go here?) and the excitement of play. it’s good to be wary of ‘cute’ animals vids, but this seems like an unproblematic video!

I’d like to add to this–just look at world-famous box-loving cat, Maru, who wags his tail every time he stuffs his body into a box or other small object. He’s clearly not about to attack the person behind the camera! It’s definitely based on stimulation, but more to the point of “ahhh FINALLY I’ve gotten into the small space, now how do I get the rest of me inside”:

i love everything about cats ever always

reblog if your name isn't Ashley.

We’ll find you Ashley.

This post is scandalous.

reblogging because ashley cant. 

25 years of ads peeled away

A warning

tomorrow

T O D A Y