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@matti-the-space-ace

They/He | Oriented Aroace | Polyaffectionate |poly-queerplatonic | ADHD | 23

yall with adhd or autism or such ever just get…. bored. like so Painfully bored. like its not “oh hehe i was so bored and i made this” to flex or “oh im so bored bc i have nothing to do” but like a “i am physically incapable of ending this horrible understimulation with any activity i might attempt” and its genuinely fucking painful

Bonus points if you try a bunch of things and none of them are right so you’re just walking a circuit around your place, getting increasingly frustrated about all the things you don’t want to be doing and not being able to settle on a task

Opening and closing the tabs on my computer hoping for the stimulation but getting nothing

Yall do NOT hop on a cosmetic surgery hate train during an ongoing campaign against trans Healthcare I am fucking begging

My tits didn't smaller themselves, fuckos. Either you believe in bodily autonomy or you fucking don't.

The sacred bond between trans people who've had plastics and cis people who have had plastics is fucking sacred and I will not tolerate anybody in the queer community trash-talking plastics no matter what it is and who is getting them and for what reason!!!

I want there to not be a line between 'costmetic' and 'necessary'. If there's a line, then insurance companies and whoever-the-fuck-else will decide everything is 'cosmetic'. That happened to me with getting my jaw rebuilt when I was A CHILD. 'oh it's cosmetic' My insurance wrangler lady and the surgeon had to write SEVERAL LETTERS to the damn insurance company detailing out just how graphically I would DIE if I did not get my face rebuilt before I was 18! If 'we won't pay for cosmetic plastics only necessary ones' wasn't a thing, that wouldn't have had to fucking happen!

So you know what? I don't want to hear the word 'cosmetic' out of anyone's mouth. it's ALL just plastics. And all plastics are still 100% the person's choice to get, I don't care what the reason is, all reasons are your business and should be honoured and that's as it should be. As Sweaterkittens said, you either believe in bodily autonomy or you fucking don't.

Signed,

A Transman who has had exclusively plastics for all FOUR major surgeries throughout his life.

Interesting to call this “confiscating” when it’s just making the rich pay their fair share, especially considering all the stolen wealth from the bottom 99% and historic tax evasion.

Anonymous asked:

The reason Drag Kings aren’t as popular as Drag Queens is because the entire point of Drag is to perform Gay stereotypes in a way that conflates them with Trans Femininity for the amusement of Cis people. You're not Trans Femme, IE they don't know how to laugh at you. Like I get Drag Performers wanna make out that you're doing this big artsy queer thing when you do drag - but Drag is for Cis People and it always has been. It's a highly conditional and often very transphobic space that Cis people let Trans people exist in if we agree to perform caricatures of ourselves... and because Cis people think Trans Women are a Joke and basically have no idea that Trans Men even exist, Drag Queens get more laughs and Drag Kings just confuse them.

…what the fuck are you talking about

That is absolutely not the point of drag. Most drag performers would say that drag is about performing gender, in its many many forms

I know so many trans people who are drag performers. Trans people have always been a part of drag and drag culture.

There is of course an issue with transphobia in drag communities (I mean rupaul is arguably one of the most famous queens in the world and is pretty transphobic) but you seem to be implying there’s no space at all for trans folks in drag. Which ignores the fact that drag is just as much an art form pioneered by and still used enjoyed by trans folks

Like I’m sorry drag race has brain rotted you but stop making that everyone else’s problem lol. Go to a local drag show and give some money to your local trans mutual aid fund

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What a ridiculous fucking ask. Trans people have ALWAYS been in drag, it's not progressive to act like we haven't. Pose is a TV show about the drag scene that specifically follows trans women in the drag scene because shockingly spaces where crossdressing is celebrated tend to attract trans people or help people realize they are trans.

"Drag queens get laughs and drag kings just confuse them" maybe stop spending all your time around cis people? because plenty of people love and adore drag queens and kings and things. If you think drag is just about mocking trans people for cis people's entertainment you are going to the wrong drag shows

This is fucking embarrassing ‘journalism’ from the BBC.

Guy goes to an NHS doctor, flat-out states the nature of his investigation and gets behind the scenes information on assessments.

Then he hits up three private clinics actively looking for an ADHD diagnosis, has his friends fill out witness forms, and is shocked when he receives a diagnosis.

An utter disgrace.

Turns out, if you go and lie about your symptoms, they’ll diagnose you.

Consider me fucking shocked.

thank you, random white man, for this insight on the condition known to be underdiagnosed in women and people of color

i found the article and it's like, comparing and contrasting private and public clinics I think? It's a little opaque to me (American) what the significance of this is

I'm not sure what the point of this was. Like, the article doesn't really even touch on what his methodology was—it doesn't actually state whether he was filling out the forms honestly, and knowing how an evaluation works and going into the evaluation with the goal of "demonstrating" something about an evaluation infuses inherent bias into everything

this is just yet another thing that serves to create paranoia about people getting prescribed stimulant meds. Something that, in the USA, is difficult to the point that it blocks people from obtaining the care that they need all the time, and i know in many other countries it's even harder

Like, why did he feel the need to do this to begin with. I'm sure that if he went to several different doctors trying to get a diagnosis of chronic constipation, he would get one, because listening to a patient when they bring a concern up to you is Your Job as a doctor

@headspace-hotel uk person checking in! when you go public for an adhd assessment, waiting lists are YEARS long with often no indication of when you'll finally be seen. thus, many people – who are desperate for care – will pay money (which you don't have to do for public healthcare) to go private.

so basically it's stigmatising people who were so desperate that they were willing to find £1,000 to get help.

So this asshole was actively taking precious opportunities and resources away from people who need them?

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Is your conclusion “he tried to prove that private clinics are bad, something something, less people will be able to go to private clinics for these resources as a result” or “he took 3 diagnoses in private clinics which could have been 3 other people’s diagnoses and resources”?

He seems to have bypassed the atrociously long waiting list for the NHS appointment - which he biased anyway by disclosing his investigation to the NHS doctor.

He then fabricated symptoms to three private clinics which require two other people to validate his symptoms - all in a bid to frame them as predatory.

This could have been an investigation into underfunding of the NHS and absurd waiting lines forcing people to use private clinics. Instead the story became ‘ADHD is a fun trend and you can just pay to get a diagnosis’.

It’s malicious journalism that casts doubt in the public’s mind. Some people are now not going to believe other people’s ADHD diagnosis on the back of it.

we also want to challenge his assumption that private clinics apparently taking less time to diagnose obvious adhd is a reflection on their lack of diligence - it's much more a reflection on how much more gatekeepy the nhs is encouraged to be, especially when it's about "invisible" or mental health or neurodivergent conditions (we had 11 hours of meetings before getting diagnosed autistic by the nhs at 55 - a diagnosis six different other autistic people had spotted right away)

you see this with gender care too, nhs gender care (assuming you ever make it to the top of a six year waiting list) is like "yes come and see us for a year before we'll consider hrt for you - but not if you're fat or have mental health conditions because fuck you" while private clinics are like "yes we confirm that you are trans, why on earth would we make you wait?"

Yeah, I wonder if the NHS considers the entire time from the start of assessment. Their ‘thorough assessment’ is someone else’s frequent misdiagnosis and the doctor even not believing them at face value.

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Rescue professional here:

If you need rescuing or help, DON’T FUCKING MOVE. You are so much easier to find when you stay put.

Credits: @foxes-in-love

Your most important survival skill is asking for help

Goddamn preach this

"Your most important survival skill is asking for help." THIS, it makes me so damn pissed off when parents try and normalize that asking for help is a taboo thing!

Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.

I’m a guidance counselor/psychologist for teenagers and it’s getting really hard to motivate young people to work for a future they don’t believe in. 

 They look at ther future and see global warming, wwIII, unemployement, political unstability, poison in everything  they eat, the earth and animals dying all around them. 

I saw this video where someone was asking french teens in the 50s how they imagine the future would be. The war hadn’t been over for long and yet it was all positive with like peace and flying cars and such. Then they went and ask the same questions to nowadays teens and hell that was depressing. Some still had hope, but it was just that “well I hope I’ll have a nice house and maybe some kid” but there was such a hesitancy to it, like they didn’t dare to hope too much. 

People mock Greta Thunberg but what they don’t get is that when she said “you stole my dreams”, it was the truth. 

Young people don’t get to dream like they used to. They don’t dream anymore, they grief all that won’t be anymore and that’s just so fucking sad. 

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The fact that both the tweet and these reblogs are pre-pandemic makes this post even worse

it makes me sad how children will be labeled “shy” without further examination.

are they shy or do they have social anxiety?

are they shy or are they autistic?

are they shy or do they have selective mutism?

are they shy or are they traumatized?

are they shy or do they have agoraphobia?

are they shy or are they experiencing bullying or ostracization?

i can think of so many scenarios where children’s struggles are written off as “shyness” and they are not given the proper support because of it. this isn’t to shame anyone if you have a shy kid and didn’t think anything of it, but to say please look deeper to make sure you’re not missing something 💛

i think some linguistic drift has happened with the word "stim" to include "motions i can't not make" and this has gotten kinda frustrating bc it coincides with a general awareness in the disabled blogosphere that stimming is also something autistics choose to do to self-regulate

so there'll be posts that include stuff abt what stims are acceptable vs what are breaking public boundaries, or like advice on how to choose stims that are acceptable around others, or stuff like that, but then simultaneously some things referred to as stims are involuntary and those things get seen as voluntary within disabled spaces and we reproduce a lot of ableist stuff wrt trying to control peoples bodies as a result?

like ive seen head-banging during meltdowns/overloads referred to as a self-injurious stim, frex, but thats definitely not a thing most autistics who do it can choose whether or not they're doing. on a smaller scale, like, i have a lot of involuntary movements due to bad brain-body wiring, and some of them will b things referred to as stims by other autistics (hand wringing, frex, or like, finger tapping, or my legs jerking/bouncing, or just like where im putting my fingers and how they move, idk how to describe it), and sometimes they will be done on someone elses body if we're cuddling or hugging or sitting next to each other, and thats not rlly controllable bc i cant control that im doing them to begin with (although ofc im happy to move to a different chair or the other side of the room or whatever if you ask).

(im aware that these are definitionally not tics bc ive been told by people who tic that tics are specifically not regulatory in nature, and cannot be used for self-regulation, whereas a lot of autistics have a more in-between experience of involuntary movements that still regulate our bodies, but we can't like, choose to do them when we're doing bad, and they also happen when we don't need regulation and they're not serving any purpose)

anyway im wondering if theres vocabulary for involuntary movements that might be self-regulatory in nature but can't be stopped or started at will like a stim can? bc i think we'd really benefit from using that more specific vocabulary.

I haven't heard of a word for that specifically. "Involuntary stimming" or "automatic stimming" might be possible options, accounting for the linguistic drift that has already happened while being more specific and accurate.

I encourage my followers to spread this around so that we can see if a word already exists, or find a different word or phrase that works well.

jojo siwa is like. her style is not my taste at all but as soon as other people call it annoying im like actually you're wrong she's an icon and a legend

she looks like the concentrated essence of a claires store and i do not mean this negatively

it’s the “fuck you” to the current trend of encouraging teenagers to look 24 and embracing girly things that cis men hate

American Kawaii

she looks like someone turned a Skittles commercial into a person and i love it

If you don’t mind me putting my two cents:

I feel like Jojo Siwa’s style is reminiscent of the colorful teen girl fashion of the late 2000s and early 10s. Back then it was considered fashionable to use lots of colors, accessories, etc. Take a look at Jojo Siwa:

Very colorful, generous with sparkles and accessories. It’s meant to be fun!

If you were a kid in 2007-2012 you saw something similar in the clothing the teens in your sitcoms wore, although not as exaggerated. The fashion in Shake It Up(which came out in 2010) is a really good example of this:

(You may laugh, but this was the height of fashion to 13 year old me.)

The point is, Jojo’s aesthetic is similar to being a young pre teen girl walking into Limited Too for the first time.

And the reason cishet men hate it is because they don’t find it attractive. That’s why she’s often made fun of and used as a joke so much. Because that style doesn’t cater to the male gaze. It’s not for them, so it must be bad.

Cyndi Lauper, late 1980s, for your consideration.

Okay but you realize that the person who said "American Kawaii" has it exactly right, yea? That kawaii in Japan was created for girls to embrace cutesy juvenile things that refuted the beauty standards (created by men) that expected them to look mature and marriageable as soon as possible. It was over-the-top BECAUSE men hated it! Because the girls in the subculture specifically wanted to keep them away as long as they could and enjoy their childhood without being seen as Somebody's Future Wife™.

アメリカのカワイイです!

Goth and Punks we should stand in solidarity for or sisters in lace and sparkles

Goth and Punks we should stand in solidarity for or sisters in lace and sparkles

Hey kids! When this happens, which it does a LOT, you call your states insurance commissioner's office and file a formal complaint! Make sure you get a reference number for EVERY. SINGLE. CALL. you make, save every form of correspondence (email and mail) AND retain a copy of all your responses. If they stonewall you (That's not a covered service, we're not allowed to disclose that, etc) request a copy of your benefits, insurance is a CONTRACT and is legally binding.

Download a call recording app if you can, even if you can't share the recordings at first they can be useful for your reference and can be presented if you need to go to court.

I work with insurance companies all day everyday and have so for almost a decade. I trust them as much as I trust my dog to watch the Thanksgiving turkey. Approach each interaction with them *like* it's going to go to court.

Some union basics:

1. Striking is the LAST RESORT. If a union is at the place where a strike is being proposed it is because they have been bargaining for a long time and exhausted all their other options.

2. Before a strike happens, all the members vote. Everyone is very aware of the status of negotiations long before they’re made public. But if a strike is occurring it’s because an overwhelming majority voted to strike—you want almost everyone in the union to agree before you take such a huge step.

3. Strikes are difficult but necessary demonstrations of workers’ collective power. The hope is that your labor is so essential that the bosses lost profits will make them come back to the bargaining table. The bosses are hoping that the workers will starve to death.

4. Working during a strike is called scabbing. Coming in from an outside industry to do work during a strike is sometimes called crossing the picket line. Both send you straight to hell.