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Well its gay

@matieski-has-art

when we said we had a system, this was probably not what you were thinking
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manywinged

hey girl are you a worm because

goddammit. i hit post too early

hey girl are you a worm because i am hooked on you

actually i guess it would be. hey girl are you a hook because i am wormed on you

no it wouldn't that's nothing

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i am hooked on you

hey girl are you a fishing rod because i'd like to reel you in

hey girl. fish

matieski-has-art
gay-white-bread
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authorofemotion

everyone talks about how tumblr should make an @everyone feature, but I have another proposal: an @anyone feature. this tags a few users at random and there’s no way of predicting who it will be. this will also solve nothing and make everything worse

matieski-has-art
shrugsstuff
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rainydayscore

I think the historical treatment of left handed people is objectively the funniest form of bigotry mankind has ever displayed

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be-a-dandelion

Bitches will create a binary and use it to oppress the other side for ANYTHING

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popsunner
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marauders4evr

I just really want to write a book (in fact, I think that I’m going to) where the protagonist is in a wheelchair. And they live in a city where there’s a group of superheroes. And there’s a big, magical, villain because of course there is.

And since they were a young child, this protagonist has wanted nothing more than to join the group of superheroes. Like they’re a huge fan of the group and they just know that it’s their destiny to join.

And one day, when wheeling through the city, they see the group of heroes fighting the villain. And they quickly wheel over and cry, “Let me help!”

But the ‘heroes’ laugh and instead make a whole bunch of ableist remarks.

And so the protagonist has to prove themselves.

And the villain is trying to warn them to stop.

But the protagonist ends up taking their footrest off of their wheelchair and they swing it. And it hits the villain in the side of the face and the villain collapses and groans in pain.

And so the protagonist proudly smiles and turns to the group of heroes.

Because they just proved that they are strong and worthy enough.

But the group of ‘heroes’ still keeps making ableist remarks.

And the protagonist is shocked.

And meanwhile, the ‘villain’ staggers to their feet and is standing next to the protagonist’ wheelchair.

And one of the ‘heroes’ goes too far when calling the protagonist the R word.

And the protagonist and the ‘villain’ just sort of glance at one another.

And the ‘villain’ is just like, “You know…I can zap them for you…if you want.”

And the protagonist hesitates and says, “Yeah, alright!”

One fried group of heroes later, the ‘villain’ says, “Why do you think that I’m always fighting them? They’re all a bunch of assholes.”

And the protagonist sadly nods and starts to wheel away.

Then:

“Hey, do you want a job?”

The protagonist turns at the villain’s remark. And the protagonist mumbles something like, “Oh, come on. I don’t need your pity.”

And the ‘villain’ is like, “Pity!? Do I look like someone who hands out pity!? I don’t pity you! I’m kind of afraid of you, to be honest! I mean…I’m going to have a giant bruise on my face because of you.”

“Yeah…sorry…”

“Water under the bridge! So, what do you say? Do you want a job?”

And the protagonist thinks about it for a minute before shrugging.

And the ‘villain’ is all excited because they’ve wanted someone to work with them for years but no mortal is allowed to ‘step into’ their lair.

And then the ‘villain’ stops and is like, “Hang on…you can’t work with me in that.”

And they gesture to the protagonist’s wheelchair.

And the protagonist is all embarrassed.

And then the villain goes, “Because we can get you a much better wheelchair! It’ll look great! And it’ll be indestructible! And it’ll have all sorts of weapons and gadgets! Hey, how do you feel about flying…?”

And all of that is literally in the first chapter and then the rest of the story follows the two going around the city like BAMFs, forcing people to stop being ableist, one way or another. And maybe it’ll have some commentary on the scale of morality and what it truly means to be a hero and what it truly means to be a villain.

Would anyone be interested in this!?

Because I really want to write it!?

YESSSSS. ALL MY YES PLS WRITE IT

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iama-potato

I’D READ THE SHIT OUT OF THAT YES PLEASE

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marauders4evr

OP HERE!

Man, it’s so surreal to look at this.

BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WROTE IT!

AND IT WAS JUST PUBLISHED TONIGHT!

Of course, there are some differences between the final book and this original idea. The most notable difference is that all of this takes place in the first book (it’s going to be a series!) and the whole ‘superhero’ thing is just going to be a front. There’s a few other differences as well (such as a huge plotline involving Merlin and immortal characters!)

BUT I WROTE IT!

AND IT’S PUBLISHED!

AND IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, YOU CAN BUY IT HERE:

www.amazon.com/Antagonists-Book-One-Burgandi-Rakoska-ebook/dp/B015BWS9J0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1442188845&sr=1-1&keywords=the+antagonists

AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN REVIEW IT!

AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST WITH THIS REPLY SO THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY KNOW THAT THE BOOK NOW EXISTS!

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marauders4evr

UPDATES 2+ Years Later:

The Antagonists Series (Books One - Five) is now available in paperback!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/bookseries/B017TW3ZD0/ref=dp_st_1521362947

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marauders4evr

This is honestly the most surreal post to look back on in the 25,000+ posts that I’ve made/reblogged in my six years on this website. 

Regardless

BOOK SIX IS NOW AVAILABLE!

https://www.amazon.com/Antagonists-Book-Six-Burgandi-Rakoska-ebook/dp/B07CJWV3RL/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&keywords=burgandi%20rakoska&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&qid=1525711816&ref_=mp_s_a_1_2&sr=8-2

SIGNAL BOOST!

BOOOSTTTTT

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popsunner
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popsunner

The funniest thing about work is that I go by a different name so I can airdrop my coworkers and managers the worst fucking memes and they don’t know it’s from me

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ushauz
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mikkeneko

act II be like

Anders: If you don’t stop flirting with me, I might flirt back! And that would be awful, we wouldn’t want that. Seriously, I’m going to take you up on it! Beware! Watch out! Any minute now!  Actually might take your flirting seriously unless you stop! 

Hawke: I AM LITERALLY LYING NAKED ON A BED OF ROSES WITH ‘MAGES DINE FREE’ SIGNS POINTING TO MY CROTCH. HOW MUCH CLEARER CAN I MAKE THIS