10/10 will replay in my mind over and over until next time

With every tear came redemption, my torturer became my remedy

The days get longer and harder to get through. Thank goodness for daylight savings, nothing like the sun setting early af to put you in the mood to sleep at 7pm. Anyway let me try to get through this week. One day at a time

Towards the end of our time together I would visit my dad every day for like 4 hours. I’m grateful that it was during the summer when I didn’t have anywhere to be. I never had anything to do, but whenever I went to see him I felt okay with that. I started enjoying the quiet time together. Him and I never really exchanged words, sitting together in a room enjoying each other’s company is how we communicated really lol. I miss being able to go see him whenever I wanted especially when I had a bad day. Being with him made me feel better. This is really hard🤕

People keep telling me that these feelings will come in waves but all I know is that right now I’m feeling a bit at peace with it all. To know I took care of my dad and that he appreciated it until the very end is something I’ll always think about. Sure we had our ups and downs during the 15 years he went through being sick but we loved each other the most. I sit and think about all the “I love you”s we exchanged and the hugs I gave him while he laid in bed unable to hug me back. Those are the times I’ll always cherish. To feel him in my arms as he took his final few breaths was an experience that will stay with me forever and I’m grateful to have been there for that. The bond between a father and daughter truly is indescribable. I miss being able to see him every day for even a few minutes and his body may be gone from this earth but I know his spirit is going to stay with me forever 👼🏼👼🏼 One week tomorrow. miss you already, love you always