When you win the pie eating contest :)

guy eating contest

Tumblr culture is not knowing if this is from 2008 or earlier this week.

Turn-offs: historically inaccurate cosmetics in period dramas

yeah but i feel like forcing actors to wear lead and/or bird poop on their faces qualifies as hazardous working conditions

I was taking more about sparkly eyeshadow in like 1311 but touché

Cómo picar a un italiano 🤌🏻

RATING: NOT CUTE!

that italian man is showing clear signs of distress. you can see his e-

me and the mutuals

the funniest thing ever just happened to me

im changing my name purely bc i don’t like it and we just told my family like a month ago. i haven’t been home since then but today i got back and my (extremely country) uncle gives me a pat on the back and goes “so i hear you’re my nephew now. proud of you, son” and i have to very gently say i am so so happy to hear that but i am still his niece just with a cooler name. and he throws his hat down on the table and goes “no! but ive been practicing!” so now he is calling me his nephew for fun

Redrawing some of my old stories into how my kid brain imagined their 'anime' to look like

I love this so hard.

went to see if my late package maybe showed up without being scanned

but the post man yesterday said it would be here at ooooooooooone

is 9…………. post office closing time…….  no pkg……………………………………………………… >:C

well at least i can skip my post office visit tomorrow

i mean what did i expect really

a package?

too unrealistic

amazon sent me a replacement for my lost package and it “arrived” today

omg she recognized me immediately and got nervous with me while checking the system using my name

she was just as distraught as me when it turned up “arriving tomorrow” again but then she had another idea

mail is dumb

The mail lady saying “NO. I REFUSE to say it again” was more climactic than the Braveheart speech.

oh my gosh, op’s bio says “The package was a laptop” which gives SUCH a new perspective

“and the fans are throwing celebratory rats on the ice” god I love hockey

the beautiful game!!!!!!

The crowd once the game concludes:

I know nothing about hockey but this is either philadelphia or florida. I'm not even American but it feels like it just has to be one of those.

LOL, it's literally the two Florida teams PLAYING EACH OTHER.

god I love hockey

an excerpt for those wondering about my article link ^

Real talk why does social interaction feel like you’re trying to get a good grade in being a person

Ahhh, glad to see it always comes back to this

STOP the fucking song and back it up to the start we didn't think about the right thing at the right time our head music video is all messed up what the fuck guys come on

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.

this was supposed to be levi’s birthday picture but i couldn’t finish it on time and i won’t probably finish it at all now, so i will just post the WIP 😃

Interviewer: Dr. Simeon, How would you best describe your team?

My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

friendly reminder that jughead jones is canonically aro/ace 

happy pride month, everyone :) 

this is literally all coded talk for him being gay but yeah anyway

ah yes because “i don’t go on dates”, “i don’t want to kiss PEOPLE”, and “i don’t get crushes” is gay coding sure lmao

yeah using the word asexual to describe a character is Obviously gay coding

Yeah because an openly gay character telling Jughead he doesn’t get his dilemma about finding other gay men to date is SO gay coding 

gay guy: you don’t get [my dating problem] because you’re asexual

[butterfly pidgeon meme, “Is this gay coding?”]

gay guy: you don’t get

[my dating problem] because

you’re asexual

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Will never get over the fact that the creator of Johnny Bravo is on the record as saying Johnny Bravo lays mad pipe but his successes aren't funny