Losing him wasn’t full of blood and empty stomach. It was sitting silently, wishing this was all just a dream and everything would go back to normal once you wake up. You never woke up. It wasn’t refusing to eat and isolation. It was sitting with your friends, pretending nothing ever happened, but stopping mid sentence when You hear something he used to say. It wasn’t kissing that random boy at a party just because he looks like him. It’s getting nauseous whenever accidentally being touched .it’s the feeling in your stomach that lasts for days, and laughing so hard, you start crying because, you’ve been holding it in for so long. It’s sitting with your family and having to pretend you’re fine and that you don’t feel like drowning yourself in vodka bottles and sleeping pills.

(-losing him wasn’t romantic it was just sad.)