seriously is there anything sexier than sustainable farming

Oh my god ahzrukhal look out he’s right behind you he’s gonna shoot you! Oh no! He has AirPods in he can’t hear us oh god oh fuck

attention all soft animals..... hello

Logging onto Tumblr

I have 2 “head” “cannons” …. They’re called my nostrils

Nick, my dude, you got this.

my fav

i will no longer be inviting my enemies to ‘meet me in the pit’ from now on you are all expected to meet me in the hinterlands, a far more terrifying prospect due to the fact you must first FIND me in the hinterlands, which may take years

Onward, steed!

This happened and humans still think they are the only intelligent life form on earth…

me @ the demons that stand at the end of my bed:

it’s a lot warmer under the covers if you wanna come cuddle

shout out to me in 5 years…hope shes doing something cool i’m rooting for her

when im dead sext me through a ouija board

Wut r u wearin babe? D E A D F L E A H A N D M A G G O T S E A T I N G T H E F L E S H

someone: do u want to go do this thing w me

me: ……………in theory

i'm what the kids call

really exhausted. I’m so tired.

me and my friends dancing to “mr. brightside” 

I can’t get over how well this fits

The nuclear arms race is akin to two guys standing waist deep in gasoline, bragging about who has most matches.

assassin’s creed was the first video game I ever played, and I finished the first game in a weekend more or less without pause. then I went to work on Monday and, being totally unfamiliar with the Tetris effect, was extremely taken aback by the immediate impulse to reach my teller station by vaulting over the counter. I mean, I didn’t even question it at first. I made it maybe two long purposeful steps forward before my brain caught up and I spent the rest of the day doubting my own actions.

One time I played so much Bioshock at the weekend that on my walk to uni the next day I saw a vaguely rectangular bit of trash out the corner of my eye and automatically thought “better pick up that first aid kit”

When fallout 4 came out, I played so much of it that when I saw a pile of wood near my house, I tried to scrap it and was perplexed as to why it wasn’t selectable.

after playing the sims i mistakenly thought i was alive and  had feelings