Thank you.

we all died more times than i can count.

I couldn’t feel pain. I couldn’t sense time. I couldn’t understand where I was. But I could see.

Some gems from Brit Marling’s Twitter 

I need to see you… to make sure you’re real. 

disability + the oa

so this is really just me spitballing some thoughts i had after binge-watching the entire show in a day. MAJOR SPOILERS

this show did so fucking good at talking about disability and trauma!!! i love (and by love i mean i was screaming like the entire time) how well and accurately they showed the way her personhood got taken away again and again - she’s at the mercy of her parents’ wishes even though they’re fumbling around and listening to everyone and their dog’s advice rather than listening to what OA is saying she needs - she had to beg for a fucking <i>hour<i> long walk??? - everyone feels entitled to her story, and when they don’t get it they take it into their own hands (the girl who took her picture at Olive Garden) - she’s constantly infantilized by her parents, especially by her mom which is super revealed when her mom admits why she chose her - putting her on medication for years (that didn’t even work!!!) and not thinking to, idk, fuckin ASK her if she wanted it? - her boundaries are broken over and over (especially the ‘no touching’ rule) and when she inevitably responds to the lack of control and privacy her parents respond with taking away even more! like “huh i wonder why she feels like she can’t come to us for help and understanding??” - i was constantly afraid they were going to decide to commit her, and i imagine she was too? that kind of threat looming over your head, especially coming out of an intensely traumatic experience where you had no power over your own fate, is so incredibly nauseating i had to stop watching at certain points to calm down

in a way she never escapes captivity until the very end. throughout the entire show the only place she seems to have power is the abandoned house (i know there’s symbolism there i can feel it, but i’m way too tired to delve into that atm), which eventually gets ruined for her by a goddam hoard of meaning-well douches. and of the different captors she has, the one who treats her most like a person is Hap, going so far as to provide braille labels and devices for pouring things so she can move about freely in the house, narrating new environments for her in a way no one else does in the show, and giving her sunlight. it’s interesting to see how well the show portrays the fact that it’s often those who have the best intentions and do things “for our own good” that end up taking away so much, probably because we try and want to trust them, and because of how good they are at taking away our voices

side-note: scott’s “i liked you better when you were blind” gave me lots of Thoughts, can’t put it into words, but that felt like a blow (who knows maybe i’m reading too much into it)

anyway it’s 2am right now and i’m not gonna edit this and i’m probably forgetting a million things but here you go! feel free to add on your thoughts about it, i’d love to red them!

The OA 1x01: Homecoming We begin our journey to the border tonight. Midnight. The unfinished house at the edge of Crestwood View. Don’t come unless you leave your front door open. You have to invite me in.

Trust the unknown.

The OA (2016)