SO GAY CULTURE REALLY IS SAYING FUCK THE APOCALYPSE LET’S RUN AWAY TOGETHER HUH

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

I fucking love him

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

He also jabs racists in the eye!

I love the justice grandpa of fists

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

I have a new role model

“justice grandpa of fists”

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

we need him more than ever…

wear a mask

Stuff that always gets me

Yes please

I am the red one in the first picture.

happy 41st anniversary of anti-gay activist anita bryant getting pied on live tv

by Magdalena Fernandez Arriaga

My Good Omens Umbrella

…Strange thing to make a post on, but I’ve had this umbrella for almost a year now and I STILL can’t stop thinking about HOW COOL it is. And I’ve not yet seen anyone talk about it online (has no one used it? Probably a mistake for Amazon to hand out umbrellas in Los Angeles) so frankly? I think the umbrella deserves better so I’m gonna make a post about it. It’s one of my favorite Good Omens official merchs, rare as they are, and I got it from that Good Omens cemetery premiere event in 2019. (Thanks to my friend, who grabbed one for me at the end, when I was busy chasing Neil Gaiman across a dark graveyard)

It looks like a plain red umbrella with the Amazon Good Omens logo. Nothing too special about it upon first inspection.

It’s a nice humongous size though, the way umbrellas should be. Here’s some of us admiring it at SDCC 2019 (I was pointing out sth that I thought was “hidden patterns” on the umbrella to the others. 2 months into owning the umbrella, I had not figured out what its true power was. That’s how seldom it rains in Los Angeles)

Now, the point. When it rains and the umbrella gets wet

RAINING FISH PATTERNS APPEAR

AND THE OPPOSITE SIDE (from the Logo) SAYS “HAVE A NICE DOOMSDAY”

I was mind-blown over this…Magic (science) the first time I saw it and couldn’t believe how long it took me to realize. I love rainy days to begin with, and now I love them even more.

“I’ll make an effort, I promise.”

From @southdownsraphael’s wonderful fic and because Crowley in a gown and four inch stilettos was too good to not draw.

Ko-fi 💘 instagram

It was a racy picture of Aziraphale. He meant to place it as his lockscreen image.

(By racy, I mean no tie and two shirt buttons undone.)

(Now Aziraphale thinks all of Hell is going to think he’s a tramp.)

(They already do. Now half of Hell has a crush on him too.)

GOOD LORD

Everyone in Hell thinks Crowley did it deliberately, just to rub it in that he’s dating this sexy angel while no other demon is getting any divine booty. (except Beelzebub, but no one knows they’ve been pegging Gabriel for years)

I’ve seen a couple Aziraphale/Crowley AUs for the prompt “One of them is the professor that overshares, the other is the professor that won’t tell you anything about their personal life, nobody realizes they’re together.” And they’re spectacular and I love them. 

But I was thinking: AU where they’re BOTH the oversharer, in slightly different ways, and everyone is still completely oblivious to the fact that they’re married.

Aziraphale is an English professor who will not tell you anything about his personal life, unless you get him on the subject of his husband, in which case he will talk your ear off for three hours about how sweet and clever Anthony is. (And how beautiful his plants are, and how much effort he puts into taking care of his greenhouse, and which episodes of the Golden Girls he likes best…) Students in his Shakespeare class could tell you which of Shakespeare’s plays are Anthony’s favorites, in order, with explanations for each one, although they could not tell you which ones Aziraphale himself likes. They do not know anything about Aziraphale’s day-to-day life, but they know about a variety of the dates Anthony has taken him on, and what Anthony did for their last anniversary. They know that Anthony used to work as an architect (and then briefly as a nanny). They are all under the impression that ‘Anthony’ is some sweet florist.

Crowley, meanwhile, is an astronomy professor who overshares everything, completely at random. (Like he’ll drop a detail about his personal life in the middle of telling you how to calculate orbital velocities, and then barrel on with his lecture while you’re trying to process the information that his parents kicked him out of the house for questioning their religion? Was he raised in a cult?) His students are aware that he’s married; he wears a wedding ring and he occasionally says things like “… although maybe I’m not one to talk, given that I proposed to my husband three times before he said yes. A bit of advice: if you’re both pretty sure the world as you know it is about to end, it might not be the right time to propose.” His students are privy to the strangest collection of information about his husband (has been to jail, once nearly died in a burning building, favorite Shakespeare play is Hamlet, loves crepes, the crepes thing and the jail thing might be related but nobody’s ever been able to figure out the story there), but if they ask him anything directly, he tends to clam up and give monosyllabic answers. His TAs/students who’ve had him for several classes know that he clams up because he gets all blushy when he talks about his husband, and he can’t be doing that while trying to intimidate the freshmen, but even then, the most they’ve been able to get out of him is his personal rendition of that John Mulaney “my wife is a bitch and I love her so much” sketch. Which gives them a good idea of the husband’s personality but is short on identifying information. 

So as far as 90% of the school is aware, Aziraphale is a sweet, scatterbrained English professor who’s married to an equally sweet florist, and Crowley is a deeply intimidating astronomy professor married to an equally intimidating person (whose profession they do not know, despite how much else they know about him, leading some of them to believe he’s involved in organized crime).

The students who’ve been with each of them a while know that Aziraphale’s more of a bastard then he lets on and Crowley is, deep down, very sweet. However, there’s very little overlap between “English majors” and “astronomy majors,” so the students who’ve put together the truth about Aziraphale still tend to accept Crowley at face value, and vice versa.

And then some freshman English major who’s taking Crowley’s intro to astronomy for the science credit catches the two of them together in Aziraphale’s office. At first glance, it’s perfectly innocent- Aziraphale’s sitting in his desk chair and Crowley’s looking at something on his computer screen over his shoulder. But then Crowley drapes himself over Aziraphale’s shoulders in a way that most people don’t do with their co-workers. And Aziraphale reaches up like he’s going to brush him off, but instead he cups his cheek in one hand and leans in to kiss him-

And the poor student tries to flee and walks straight into the doorframe. At which point Crowley and Aziraphale notice they’re being watched and immediately fling themselves to opposite ends of the room. (A few years prior, some of their more homophobic co-workers found out about their relationship and tried to get them fired. The mess was cleared up, but old habits die hard).

Given that suspicious reaction, the student leaves Aziraphale’s office and immediately tells all their friends that Professor Fell and Professor Crowley are cheating on their spouses… with each other.

No one believes them. It’s ludicrous, after all, they’re both clearly in love with their husbands, and there’s no way on earth the two of them would get along with each other…

And then another student notices them leaving the English building together, glancing carefully over their shoulders to see if anyone notices (old habits die hard). And someone else catches them holding hands at the local coffee shop. And someone else sees them both getting into Crowley’s car in the staff parking lot at like, 9pm, and where would they be going that late???

And the rumor spirals. The staff find out about it, and they think it’s hilarious. (Someone definitely overhears Professor Nutter saying “I hear you’re cheating on Anthony, you monster,” to Aziraphale, and does not realize that her tone doesn’t match her words at all. The rumor spirals further.) 

Crowley and Aziraphale think it’s hilarious that they are apparently cheating on each other with each other. (They’re also a little offended that a bunch of people think they would cheat on each other). They consider trying to keep up the ruse that they’re cheating, then consider waiting it out and seeing how long it’ll take for the school at large to figure out that they’re married.

Before either of those plans get off the ground, they stumble upon a group of students who’re clearly gossiping about them while on their way out of work one day. The students stop talking (not quickly enough, Crowley and Aziraphale very clearly heard “he just sounds so soppy whenever he talks about his husband, I can’t believe he’d actually-”). There is a brief staredown. 

And then Crowley asks, “You all do realize my first name is Anthony, right?”

“So many men nowadays can only talk a good fight…”

There was a small group of ducks at St. James park that were far more intelligent than any ducks had any right to be. This tended to happen when certain celestial beings were involved. Plants could feel fear, books could feel love, a Bentley could develope a taste for Queen, and ducks could come to grow tired of a black and white duo refusing to acknowledge their feelings for each other.

Most of the time it was, at least, tolerable. When the pair showed up at the park together, the ducks could just enjoy the bread tossed their way and turn their backs to ignore the adoring glances and soft looks they gave one another when they thought the other wasn't looking.

The overwhelming feeling of longing that seemed to radiate off the pair was a bit harder to ignore.

What was worse, though, was when they each came to the park alone. Then, without the other to distract their attention, the ducks would have to suffer the unfortunate torment of being talked at for hours on end.

Mr. Black would pace back and forth in front of the pond, chucking hunks of bread with far more force than the ducks thought necessary, and gripe about 'that insufferable angel' and how much he tired of him. The ducks weren't fooled.

Mr. White, on the other hand, would sit straight on the bench, his hands never seeming to still, while he fretted in run-on sentences about 'that devious demon' and his evil ways. The ducks weren't impressed.

Which is why, on one charmingy sunny afternoon, the ducks had decided they'd had enough.

It was embarrassingly easy. They just had to wait until the two finished their conversation, and then, as they moved to walk away from the bench, wind around Mr. Black's legs causing him to trip. The man always looked one wrong step from falling flat on his face, anyway, so really they didn't even have to get very close.

As expected, with a surprised little 'oh,' Mr. White reached out and caught Mr. Black in his arms.

The two stayed that way for s but, simply staring into each other's eyes (why were people so weird?) before they straightened with a nervous chuckle.

Mr. Black, overdramatic as he was, made a comment about Mr. White saving his life and asked if he could treat him to lunch in thanks. Mr. White was only too happy to agree, and the two walked off, standing much closer to one another than before while the ducks congratulated themselves on a job well done.

Until Mr. Black returned the very next day, hurled an entire load of bread into the pond and cried out in despair "'COOL?!' HE SAID 'I LOVE YOU' AND I SAID 'COOL?!'" before collapsing face first into the water as if he could simply wash his mistakes away.

The ducks quacked unhappily.

gasp….. oh boy……… i wonder what’s happening in this photo???

well, if you go to my NSFW twitter, instagram, or AO3, i guess you’ll find out 8P

Women He's Undressed, 2015 (dir. Gillian Armstrong)

This slaps

This is the Guillermo Del Toro of Dreams Come True.

Reblog so all your dreams become a reality.

They live in harmony

me and my mutuals in our commune

@forever-tangledup

The Screaming Skull- 1958

I keep an accent table in every room, just for this sort of emergency.

Turn undead

Reblog if you survived the Great Tumblr Purge of 2018

Hey Tumblr–

A couple of weeks ago we announced an update to our Community Guidelines regarding adult content, and we’ve received a lot of questions and feedback from you. First and foremost, we are sorry that this has not been an easy transition and we know we can do a better job of explaining what we’re doing. We knew this wasn’t going to be an easy task and we appreciate your patience as we work through the challenges and limitations of correctly flagging tens of billions of GIFs, videos, and photos.

Today, December 17th, our policy begins to take effect. This means that we will start hiding – not deleting – posts that contain GIFs, videos, and photos from public view that are in violation of our policy. Again, this is a complex problem, and over the coming weeks we will gradually, and carefully, flag more adult content. (Yes, we will still make mistakes, but hopefully fewer and fewer.)

More importantly, we want to clarify the things that you, as a community, have asked about the most.

Tumblr will always be a place to explore your identity. Tumblr has always been home to marginalized communities and always will be. We fully recognize Tumblr’s special obligation to these communities and are committed to ensuring that our new policy on adult content does not silence the vital conversations that take place here every day. LGBTQ+ conversations, exploration of sexuality and gender, efforts to document the lives and challenges of those in the sex worker industry, and posts with pictures, videos, and GIFs of gender-confirmation surgery are all examples of content that is not only permitted on Tumblr but actively encouraged.

We also want to reiterate some important information from our Support post:

Your content will not be deleted. If your post(s) are flagged under the new policy, they will be hidden from public view and will only be visible to you. You can appeal these flags if you feel your content was erroneously marked as adult content. Upcoming feature changes will also make appeals more manageable for those of you with multiple flagged posts. Your blog won’t be deleted if you’ve posted adult content in the past, and there is nothing you need to do if you have interacted with adult content up until now–it will just be flagged and not publicly viewable. Don’t forget too that you can download your content. It’s yours after all, and we don’t take that lightly.

What is still permitted? We’ve heard a lot of concern about what the policy does not permit, but we want to make sure that you also know what is still permitted:

Written content such as erotica, nudity related to political or newsworthy speech, and nudity found in art, specifically sculptures and illustrations, is also stuff that can be freely posted on Tumblr. Although, photorealistic imagery or photography – images, videos, or GIFs – with real humans that include exposed genitals or female-presenting (yeah, we know you hate this term) nipples or depict sex acts is not allowed per our guidelines. 

Examples of exceptions that are still permitted but that you may need to appeal if they are misclassified are: exposed female-presenting nipples in connection with breastfeeding, birth or after-birth moments, and health-related situations, such as post-mastectomy or gender confirmation surgery.

The automated tools will improve. Having a post mistakenly flagged as adult totally sucks; we understand and agree that there have been too many wrongfully flagged posts since we announced the policy change. With tens of billions of GIFs, videos, and photos to review and millions of new posts every day, we really need your help to get it right.

The more you help by reporting content that’s not permitted and by appealing content that you believe was flagged incorrectly, the better our automated tools will get at classifying your posts correctly. The more content these tools review, the more they will learn the difference between what’s permitted and what’s not. Most importantly, your content won’t be deleted if erroneously flagged and all appeals will be sent to a real, live human who can make the appropriate call. 

We love Tumblr and the communities that call Tumblr home. You are Tumblr. This place has always been a reflection of the voices and communities that thrive here. As you’ve always done, help us continue to shape Tumblr into the community you want it to be.

<3

Basically they chance nothing, soo @staff #fuckyou 

PRECISION UPLOADS.