Would've Could've Should've is simultaneously hurting me and making me feel extremely seen. I'm definitely its target audience and hearing "I miss who I used to be" and "I regret you all the time" and "give me back my girlhood it was mine first" in someone else's voice rather than just the one in my head... oof

Vorpal Blade + Lucid Blade

Enjoy the show

[ID: two tweets by Melissa Florer-Bixler (@/MelissaFloBix), the first of which is from 3:47pm on 10/23/21 (or 2021/10/23), and says: "Every time I get a gray hair I remember that one of my stem cells is like, "the working conditions here are awful and I am done." And I respect that, from a labor perspective".

The second tweet is a reply to this, and says: "Management has created a toxic work environment. I am Management". END ID]

dating someone who knocks the fuck out as soon as they hit the sheets but you have had chronic insomnia since you were 7 but you both get sad if you guys dont hug to sleep is

…

The Live Action Disney remakes do NOT demonstrate any level of understanding of the original content.

- Belle likes to read because she likes the idea of adventure in the great wide somewhere, not because she’s a feminist who believes in overturning the patriarchy by learning to read. Then she learns that giving up your life for someone else and looking past the surface of people is the best adventure she can get.

- Cruella is—and I cannot stress this enough—a crazy puppy-skinning self-obsessed maniac with no discernible care for anybody but herself. She is not a tragic young woman looking to find herself.

- Simba doesn’t think poorly of himself: he thinks about himself too much. When he’s a cub he thinks about how he’ll grow up and get to do everything his own way, and when he’s an adult he thinks he should get to stay in the jungle without anybody telling him how to live his life. He’s always hiding from responsibility. His reasons for doing it just go from childish entitlement to crippling guilt until Rafiki and Mufasa’s ghost knock some sense into him. But until then, he’s always thinking about how he shouldn’t have to take any responsibility. That’s how he runs from who he is—not because he’s ashamed of who he is, but because who he is requires responsibility. - Genie wants to be free more than all the wonders and all the riches in all the world. He would never tell Prince Ali “I don’t care anything about that wish.” If he had said anything like that in the original movie, half the weight of his actually being set free in the finale would be gone. Meaningless.

- Mulan is a klutz who had to learn discipline; she was absolutely not born with a convenient superpower for fighting. - Jasmine does not want to be Sultan. She wants to be free. She wants to be normal. She wants to be known. She’s caring enough toward normal peasants to hand them an apple when she notices they’re hungry; she’s naive and sheltered enough to forget that everything has to be paid for, even apples. - Mulan is a homebody who loves her family enough to risk her life for them; she does not dream of leaving them to have her own adventures and thrills, not even as a child.

- Lady doesn’t teach Tramp how to have self-worth by helping her owners to adopt him after his original owner abandoned him. Actually, the original Lady teaches Tramp, who was never abandoned but instead takes advantage of several human families and lady-dogs alike, the value of commitment and loyalty. 

- Maleficent lives alone in a crumbling tower with nobody but a pet raven. Flora, Fauna, and Merrywhether work together and love each other and stay with one another. Maleficent is petty, holding centuries-long grudges and never forgetting an offense. Flora, Fauna and Merrywhether are selfless, giving up their whole lives and all their magic to raise a child that isn’t even theirs in a poor cottage. Maleficent is cruel enough to kill all her own minions and doom an innocent child and chain a lovelorn prince to a wall while she tells him all about his doomed love. Flora, Fauna, and Merrywhether are compassionate enough to bake a cake and make a dress with no magic and endless trouble for Briar Rose’s birthday, even while they wipe away tears at the thought of giving her back to her parents. Maleficent shouldn’t get to be the villainess and heroine and the lover and the mother and the guardian of nature, while Flora, Fauna and Merrywhether get reduced to annoying stabs at comic relief.  Flora, Fauna, and Merrywhether protect and nurture nature, while Maleficent kills flowers and children. That’s the story. You lose all the compare-contrast when you make Maleficent the only character.

- The Beast doesn’t just allow Belle to trick her father into letting her take her father’s place. He realizes Belle could break the curse, not because she’s a girl who found his castle, but because she’s a girl who is selfless and loving enough to say something like “take me instead.” He makes her promise to stay forever; he would never say that her love for her father makes her a fool, because that type of love is what he’s banking on to break his own curse.

- Aladdin would never say “‘I basically am a Prince.” His whole problem is that he knows, all too well, who he truly is, and it’s not the kind of guy who can be Sultan. He won’t set the Genie free because he can’t make himself pretend otherwise and thinks he needs help.

- Alice starts the movie by saying she wishes she could literally have a world where everything is done her way, then ends it by running out of that world for her life from a mad Queen…who ALSO wants everything done her way. It is just not a story about a young lady remembering who she really is (muchness) and embracing her inner crazy. It’s the opposite of that.

- Belle would never plan to escape when she gave her word that she would take her father’s place. Belle would never prioritize her own freedom over the Beast’s happiness. 

Disney producers keep trying to adapt their old stories to “‘updated” values, and it will never work. The values that made characters like Belle and Mulan so enduring are totally incompatible with the bilge that gets printed on sassy t-shirts and Facebook statuses today.

I almost scrolled past this but my mom was a janitor too. PSA.

PSA Just because someone is paid to sweep the floors doesn’t mean you’re allowed to leave your shit all over the place. Clean up after yourself and teach your kids to do the same.

[ID: a screenshot of a tweet by Tina Vasquez that reads: “My dad, who is a janitor, told me the holiday season is very hard on him because people have office parties & don’t clean up after themselves, which doubles his work. So, PSA: Don’t be an asshole. If you have an office party, clean up after. Shit doesn’t magically clean itself.” End ID.]

Don’t make other people’s lives harder on purpose

As a custodian, yes, please.

Actually, this should be not in tags because fucking yes.

#additional psa if you don’t finish your drink please pour it out before you throw out the cup/bottle #can’t count the number of times ive had cold coffee dripped on me from a trash bag that ive been trying to get into the bins #its gross and makes me hate the people i work with #and almost made me actually cry one morning (via @jayofolympus )

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

Use his headshot to get Matt Mercer to haunt your home this holiday season

Me, texting my girlfriend: Babe you’ll never guess what I did to our tree…

addendum:

Thanks, tumblr mobile, for unintentionally making this even funnier

Just as I said, “is this ever going to load?” One gif loaded and honestly it answered my question perfectly.

Together they create the full set.

saw this again on my dash after reblog and…

tumblr black out poetry

Have you ever accidentally taken Grogu home from set? 

THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA | Raishan Design

So not ready for Laura Bailey’s delivery of “I’m not leaving him”, as Vex is draped over Percy’s body sobbing.

It’s fine, I’m fine, everything will be TOTALLY FINE.

to all the people who haven’t unfollowed me throughout all my fandom changes… bless your souls