Roving Minimalist

remember when this was the craziest thing politicians ever said

this could work. we never tried it

i feel so old admitting counter-culture makes me tired

Violence set to happy music will never get old to me. Blood splattering to an 80s pop song is like a sister to me because I'm not allergic to fun.

For some reason traffic is full of old men whose world view is based on the stalwart belief that the only way they will get into warriors' heaven is dying a glorious death in a vehicular accident they caused on purpose out of spite.

i had to. i’m thrilled

Things that ARE covered by your Wizard Insurance:

Oh for Gandalf's Big Naturals- Fine! 😡

Fellas

LMFAO thank god

If your satire is so on point you get seen as the bigots you mocked, is it incredible satire or bad satire? 🤔😅

‘redditors need to know this’, ‘twitterinas need to know that’… no. you need to know one thing and that is that you are not allowed to complain about werewolf fuckers. this is the werewolf fucking website. grow up and go fuck a werewolf.

What does this gif have to do with werewolves?

if you have to ask you’re not ready

can you explain? i don’t get it

This is like someone just informed the newcomers about the devils sacrament taking place every full moon and the devil itself popped up asking “what sacrament?” with a cheshire grin.

Having your own personal blog is honestly quite a nice change of pace compared to Reddit. I could put a funny GIF of George Bush getting hit by a shoe on here and the worse case scenario is that no one even notices.

You put that on a big subreddit and you get your eyes gouged out and a heap of political discourse underneath your post.

YOU HEAR THAT EVERYONE??? I’M A LIL GECKO BOY

when internet people are like “i love gothic literature but i hate anything that discusses incest, sexual violence, oppression, misogyny, abuse, torture, gore, murder, or death”

no actually me and everyone else who’s ever watched crimson peak were brainwashed by guillermo del toro into believing that incest and violence are cool and awesome. sorry

Horrifying that this pearl-clutching over horror actually being dark is unironically becoming A Thing…

(tags via @waterandsilver, id in alt)

joining the war on “pretentiousness” on the side of the pretentious

Wildlife rescue organisations here have very intense politics. Like, if you criticize any organisations’ practices you can end up being “locked out” of even unpaid positions in all of them. Which is why this is going safely under a username and not anywhere near my actual one. But it’s so frustrating watching everyone making the same mistakes over and over again.

So some baby animal can’t be released, and it’s decided that they will be used as an education/ ambassador animal. Because of this, they don’t need to be raised to avoid humans. But some people think that this means they should be treated like human children. One organisation literally started splitting up captive-born joeys from wild but un-release-able kangaroos specifically to raise so that when they grew up they would “think they were human”. And for the first year or two it goes great. They want to snuggle with everyone who will look at them, they play with people, and they are just unbearably cute. And people aww about it and say that they really do think they’re human. 

When they start to reach sexual maturity, they start “acting up”. People get kicked and scratched and they start to realise that their “child” isn’t acting so snuggly anymore, and they get angry. And the kangaroos have no fucking idea why, because they can’t know that they’re play wrestling is strong enough to hurt us. Because it turns out they don’t think they’re human, but they certainly seem to think we’re kangaroos.

And by the time they’re old enough to start fighting for real, it’s already too late to do anything about it. You can’t let visitors anywhere near them for safety reasons. 90% of the staff and volunteers won’t go in to clean the enclosures, and a lot of them still blame the animals. Some animals are so risky to work with that feeding them takes two people in the enclosure and one person acting as a “spotter”. There is no PPE for this, so people end up using plastic buckets as shields.

Anyway I’m mostly just yelling at the void, but if anyone reading this was wondering why a lot of zoos and wildlife rescues don’t cuddle the baby animals. it’s because of this sort of thing. There are a lot of really good ways to make sure baby animals feel comfortable and safe, but handling them too much usually either scares them, or means that they could seriously injure someone down the track.

It’s also why so many people who’ve worked with animals are so strongly against people owning certain types of exotic pets. If someone is telling you not to get a pet serval or kangaroo or whatever else people are keeping in their living rooms, there’s a good chance they’re trying to stop you getting mauled.

How to spot a nerd: See if they’re wearing this, then take their lunch money

I think you meant, then see if they want to have an in-depth conversation about it. Because taking their lunch money makes you a bully.

And being a bully makes you an asshole.

This poem is not a tweet to me

bernard faucon chambres d amour

you’re laughing. mr darcy won succession and you’re laughing.