Give me a Crown

d-.-b <- me listening to my favorit songs

I’m sorry friends, but “just google it” is no longer viable advice. What are we even telling people to do anymore, go try to google useful info and the first three pages are just ads for products that might be the exact opposite of what the person is trying to find but The Algorithm thinks the words are related enough? And if it’s not ads it’s just sponsored websites filled with listicles, just pages and pages of “TOP FIFTEEN [thing you googled] IMAGINED AS DISNEY PRINCESSES” like… what are we even doing anymore, google? I can no longer use you as shorthand for people doing real and actual helpful research on their own.

paperweight

worlds most stoic monk is seen allowing the shadow of a smile to play across his stern lips as he reads the 'jokes' section of a highlights kids magazine

Me going back in time to my 15 year old self: "Yeah so your future self is just straight up Samwise Gamgee."

average ace attorney trial

phoenix: ah god im so nervous im so new to this

maya: we can do it nick!!! yayayayay

judge: hello i am here

edgeworth: hello i am calling my witness mr seekret murdahrer to the stand

seekret murdahrer: hi i am but an innocent witness. i saw harry willington kill that guy from my window. yes the defendant.

phoenix : oh shit uhhhh fuck i know!!! yes mr murdahrer um you claim to have seen mr willington from your apartment window and yet your apartment has no window!!!!

judge: order!!!!

edgeworth: tut tut tut you see mister wright mr murdahrer does have a window, your building plans are outdated!

phoenix: oh shit. um. i. LOOK AT THIS

judge: what the fuck is this

phoenix: this is a piece of tape! but as you can see, there is dust on this tape!! i picked it up at mr murdahrers apartment! in the dust on the tape you can see the serial number from the murder weapon!!!

seekret murdahrer: *rips off face* GAHHHHHHH fine i did it!!!!!@

judge: ORDER! anyway i find mr willington not guilty!

confetti: *falls*

maya: yayayay mr wright we did it!!!

edgeworth: Phoenix....... I Have Always Felt A Certain..... Way..... Towards You..... As If Our Lives Are Perhaps Intertwined...... This Thought Has Penetrated Me Deeply... And Yet I Find Myself Unable To Resist........

harry willington: wowowow thanks mr wright!!!! now i will go back to the novelty ninja dice factory and work there again!!!!

one thing about tumblr users isthat they love to disagree with posts. another thing is that they love to do is disagree with things that were not even in the post as if they were

this is just absolutely not true. people do not normally drink printer ink.

osama bin laden abuse you

"if you put too many people together they start shooting each other!!" that just sounds like usamerican projection, but okay

also: western lib: *sees an apartment building in a socialist country* western lib: is this a gulag??

i love the 'imagine the energy consumed by this building' because like. it's actually very clear and obvious that a building of many apartments will require less energy than the same number of detached houses, since it shares services and thermal inertia

imagine going to visit so many of your friends and they're like only a few floors away or maybe right next door

imagine the tenant's union that this kind of place can form 😍

The ideal living arrangement, according to the people on this post lmao

If you like this idea then go live there, go live that dream.

I personally will live like a human instead of a lab rat, I want to be able to go outside and touch grass and listen to the wind blow through the trees.

Usamericans are so suburbpoisoned they don't realize you can just. Walk out of an apartment building. You aren't stuck inside.

robotgirl with bootyshorts that say this on the ass

I wish someone would draw this so badly.

Alright kitten listen up cause mommy needs your help here okay. Pause the game, ok-PAUSE the game for mommy okay I need your eyes up here, kitten. I'm putting these onions in this pan okay and im gonna walk out the door yes, that's right mommy's gotta go right now mommy's gotta go for 8 hours but she needs these onions caramelized by the time she gets bac-STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten mommy needs all 5 pounds perfectly caramelized and cooked down till they're all evenly brown and sweet and YES it does need to take the whole 8 hours mommy needs you to babysit these fucking carmies okay kitten I SAID TURN THE FUCKING GAME OFF

Potential for the funniest thing ever to happen

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

Potential for the funniest thing ever to happen

smelling the miso soup

exactly

there should be a spider-man that's creepy and wet

what a good day to remember that butch lesbians (ESPECIALLY trans, poc, and/or fat butch lesbians) aren’t fucking predatory 

“trans butch lesbian”? More like heterosexual man.

Reblog the Fred of TERF banishment to keep your blog TERF free for a year.

i love the just start skeleton post but every time i go to reblog it i see the comment referring to it as more positive than the just walk out skeleton post and i can't. i can't do it. just walk out skeleton post has been a source of tremendous liberation in my life. both skeleton posts are necessary. we live in a two skeleton world. many skeletons, even. can you tell i'm avoiding doing work