who wants to go in the gender-transing room with me
hate whenever mfs in horror media are like “what was that noise…” bro you and i both know its creatures
me when someone asks if i have a twitter or whatever: idk i’m not really on social media that much
me on tumblr: peeing again
White girls need to drop the AAVE and bring back "AS IF!!! 😒" and "GET IT TOGETHER" like y'all were eating in the 2000s!
bring this back
may i present my favorite twitter thread that compiled a list of tremendous white people phrases
where's the post compiling Redneck Phrases
This reminds me of how my dad decided "you can't have your cake and eat it too" was a dumb saying so he changed it to "you can't ride two horses with one butt"
One of my favorite parts of any Mad Men episode was Pete Campbell swearing like your great-grandpa, with the hell’s bells and the jumping Jehoshaphats and everything.
Haha, let's see, what are some other my-dad-isms worthy of mention...
- "Stop fiddle-farting around" when someone is fooling around (no idea where he got that one)
- "dumber than a sack of hammers"
- "son of a biscuit eater"
- "a few beers shy of a six pack" (meaning unintelligent)
- "all righty then" when someone says something weird
- "and here's the kicker..."
- "well tough titty said the kitty" ???
- [describing someone unfavorably] "he's a [descriptor] is what he is."
- "Quit yer moaning and groaning."
- [Describing certain doom] "You better tuck your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye."
- [Describing something dead and/or destroyed] "It's gone to be with Jesus"
Getting the fountain at the new children's hospital ready for opening day.
malinformation-distributor
transyae
I read that as dual wedding and i had to
lets give them a proper skyrim marriage
i love how tumblr users play with jpegs like dolls
>Morning shift
>Customer is angry that we disabled his card
>calm him down because it is a security measure
>We had to block his card because he spent 5k on Genshin Impact at 4AM and almost drained his entire bank account
>The instant we unblock his card he spends 200 more dollars on Genshin Impact
Every 200 notes I wake up to, I see some familiar faces and learn that some of you just have this post ON STANDBY to remind yourselves not to whale for the new bland twink.
Proud of you guys
I took the smallest, shittiest picture of a frog at the nature preserve last week and just looking at it has me in tears of laughter. Just another pea in the pea soup...
Despite all these logs, I am still just a frog in a bog.
Artificial intelligence makes accurate sheep counting.
YOU CAN STRIKE OUT EMOJIS???
🦟
CANCELED HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
🍅🍆🍄🥩🍅🥔
Kebab
No meme ever got better than stylish but illegal monkey
OMG FRIDAY IS 10 YEARS OF STYLISH MONKEY