feed me i’m a baby!

*adjusts my titties* anyways…

Smash Mouth - All-Star (1999)

my new roommate’s best friend literally says “we’ll just go out for one drink” on a weeknight, goes to a club, has ONE drink while everyone else is getting to it, and then tells everyone when it’s time to go home so they can actually make it to class in the morning and I’m genuinely terrified by the amount of self control she has

saying you’ll just have one drink at the club on a school night and then following through and getting up for class the next day demonstrates the exact level of resolve it took to amputate your own arm on an 18th century battlefield

getting up at 6:00 am made me realize that 6:00 am isnt a place it is an emotion

6:00 am isn’t a place at all

thats because it is an emotion

– Смотри: я сфинкс….

Can someone please translate this I feel like it’s important

“look: i’m a sphinx”

its a shame that in 6 or so billion years, any and all existence on earth will be wiped out by the sun’s expansion, and it’s almost scary to think about how even now the sun continues to grow bigger and hotter, sexy and hotter let’s shut it down. pound the alarm

The Aquarium near me posted this today

Me

Fuck me up

I became poor watching this

The dried berries are fucking me up someone explain how they do that

This shit probably cost 300 a plate

I’m beyond confused 😭

Things I Need:

1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this

does anyone else get uncomfortable when your pet sees you naked? like you’re so pure you shouldn’t be seeing this