There are people who stand outside of their car smoking because they value their upholstery more than their lungs.

It’d be super weird if we found life in outer space and they turn out to be humans like us.

The goal of good parenting isn’t happy kids; that’s just an occasional side effect. The point is to eventually have happy adults.

Most people look back at childhood as a ‘care free’ time in their life. This is probably because we could publicly burst into tears, throw a tantrum and move on.

The fact that a blood red lunar eclipse is happening only a week after they opened that black sarcophagus in Egypt is kinda unsettling.

Pinnocchio could tell us so much about the universe. He could randomly claim things like, “The Big Bang happened,” and his nose would confirm or deny our theories.

— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Dogs can be our best friends, but the cat will never tell the police where the marijuana is.

After two World Wars, and one World Cup, the Germans still haven’t gotten to Moscow.

After two World Wars, and one World Cup, the Germans still haven’t gotten to Moscow.

Cari from “The Incredibles” is actually a really good babysitter when you think about it. Most people would have ran away as soon as Jack Jack started using his powers, but she stayed and kept watching him for over 24 hours when she could have been KILLED by him. THAT is impressive.

Cats’ loyalty is so under appreciated, they can smell drugs just as good as dogs, but they ain’t snitches.

— Nina LaCour, Hold Still

Immortality sounds great untill you realize that one day our earth will no longer be habitable due to the death of the sun or the destruction of the planet from a massive collision , and then you would be floating through space in agony as your blood boils, unable to breath for billions of years.

Food never goes bad, it’s just something eats it before you.

There would be a lot less family emergencies and funerals if teachers didn’t assign homework.

People resist going to sleep, yet when they wake up they complain that they didn’t get enough sleep.

Really tall people were probably the most excited about wireless headphones.

If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remains the same. If you want there to be less killers in the world, you’ll need to go on a killer killing spree

Sleeping in your own bed after being gone for a while is one of the most satisfying things in the world.