the thing is they really do let you hit because you're goofy.

i say shit like "whuh oh!" and it makes girls want to kiss me under moonlight for some reason

Today's Seal Is: Ragdoll Clipping

"well if it's not androgynous what should a nonbinary person look like??" ***EXTREMELY LOUD BUZZER SOUND*** WRONG!!!! YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG!!!!!!! NOBODY "SHOULD" ANYTHING!!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT QUEERNESS IS ABOUT!!!!! GO TO THE CALM DOWN CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE JUST SAID.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/books/2023/09/20/emily-wilson-iliad-translation-terms/

emily wilson making me happy :-)

stop getting so obsessed with fictional dudes like get real. start downloading millions of images of real men with families

Shawn and Gus are drift compatible but under no circumstances should they ever be allowed to pilot a jaeger

Shawn: Shawn Spencer, Psychic Ranger, and this is my copilot, Jaeger McFlavour.

Jaeger McFlavour: The british spelling.

I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

Their scientific name sounds like "Migrating Turd" but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don't know if I'd get a tattoo of one though. They're like the potato of American birds.

I have no actual animosity towards them. They’re fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I don’t know why I said any of that—I was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.

eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because i’d realized he was talking about my dad

the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun

yesterday was the ten year anniversary of my insensitive American Robin comment and my tattooed friend messaged me to celebrate the “funniest thing that had ever happened to him” so sometimes critically failing a charisma check leads to a whole decade of joy for someone else

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

i’d like to ask your help for a really cool prank are you in?

This Saturday (April 27th) at 11:30 AM EST we must all flush our toilerts at the same time and blow up the USA (IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE USA DO NOT DO THIS IT WILL HAVE CONSEQUNCES)

spread this like a wild tire we have to blow up the united states

sorry i forgot my toilet prank can we reschedule

Kind of hilarious to me how poorly the title "Mob Psycho 100" localized to English-speaking areas. To someone whose first language is English, it scans as:

But in Japanese it scans as:

"Psycho" to mean "someone with psychokinesis" has been an anime thing since the 70s so I knew that one but the meaning of "Mob" really never crossed my mind. I thought it was just his name for no reason at all.

Japanese read: ESP NPC

English read: MAXIMUM MURDER

reminds me of when some old church in Sweden was cleaning out their storage and they forgot they had left like 80 medieval corpses in some ikea bags during renovations so somebody opened a closet door and it’s just

Saw this robot toilet at the restaurant. Was too scared to pee in it so I pissed adjacent to it on th floor.

ultimately I have become the old man on the internet who must keep up with trends and that is actually very relaxing because it means I can say fucked up shit that's wrong and feign ignorance.

I think instead of graves there should be one big vat of glue we all get turned into when we die.

This fucker is definitely typing this shit from The Vat..

ok but helen and odysseus have SO much potential as a brotp. his lying/disguise skills + her vocal impression abilities? the chaos would be UNSTOPPABLE

concept: the scene in little iliad where odysseus sneaks into troy to find the palladium and helen recognizes him, but it’s shot exactly like the window reunion scene from doctor who

the little iliad is a lost epic so i’m just going to assume this is what happened :)

Combining my two biggest fixations atm <3