outfits that say im cute but there is something wrong with me
audrey-scorne-deactivated202106
oh so i’m a “gatekeeper” just because i own this gate and won’t open it unless you bribe me or solve my riddles three?
me after an exam i didnt study for
traptacular-deactivated20180125
All the red flags
@edward the fuck do you know about the taste of tofu anyway??? was your bougie white ass chowing down on tofu in 1918?? I don’t think so. shut up and go back to guzzling rat blood, edgelord mcsparklefuck
gayvampiretown
-Bella
Person A: My hair is like my off switch.
Person B: *runs their hand through person A’s hair*
Person A: *goes limp*
stop publicizing my deactivation switch
if I don’t reboot this, assume I’m dead
block
one of the weirdest ways that language is evolving in response to the internet is that “bad words” just. do not have the same impact anymore. i constantly forget that some people think ‘fuck you’ is a terrible insult
so threats and insults have to start getting really out there if the person wants to even mean anything. if a person told me to die i’d shrug it off but if i opened a post’s tags and saw “op i will sneak into your house and replace all your shoelaces with cooked pasta” do you know how shaken i’d be? do you know how upset i’d be if i saw “op is the personification of the look you share w other people in the grocery store when some dude is causing A Scene™ for no reason”
So you are saying English curses on the Internet are becoming more like Yiddish curses?
nonbinaryvexahlia
I sincerely hope so but I can’t say I’m familiar with yiddish curses and i am begging you to tell me a few
My Personal favorite is:
“May all your teeth fall out, except for one, to give you a toothache.”
“OP is a complete onion.” (their head is in the ground)
“I hope I have the privilege of sewing your shroud” is another one I like.
“May you have a hundred houses, with a hundred bedrooms each, and ten beds in each room. And may the plague throw you from one bed to the other”
“May your death be sweet. Run over by a truck full of sugar”
“May everyone congratulate your widow at your funeral”
Damn these are good.
I love the creativity.
“May everyone congratulate your widow at your funeral”.
BRUTAL.
barney stinson is a leo sun scorpio rising and no one can convince me otherwise
By what metric does one determine that no two loves are the same?
No two loves are the same in much the same way no two DNA fingerprints match. To measure a love fingerprint, one must first collect the love, distill or centrifugate the love, then apply it to the center of a petrie dish.
From there, it’s easy to see how no two loves are ever the same.
Here are some loves:
This is the romantic love between two people:
This is the love between a person and their new car:
Here is the love of a child for their dog:
And finally, here is the love between two people in tight black rubber spanking a third while hanging from a swing as a Souza march blasts from their iPhone:
Ain’t love grand?
And really, isn’t that all true love is? Tragically beautiful.
the absolute best part of Definitely, Maybe is that none of the women sacrifice themselves for Will. Emily didn’t move to NY with him, she stayed home to do what she wanted to. when he told Summer they were over if she published the Robredo story? she did it anyway because it was good for her and her career. and my favorite, when Will tries to kiss April on her porch and she says no. she says it’s not fair to her because he pretty much only wants to be with her because his life is falling apart.
i learned that during WWI, cotton was in high demand for the manufacture of uniforms and explosives. For bandages, doctors turned to using sphagnum moss. It can hold up to 22 times its own weight in liquid – twice as absorptive as cotton. The moss is also antiseptic, making the surrounding environment acidic (x)
I can’t wait until like twenty years after weed is fully legalized and nobody cares anymore and comedians have to make real movies with real jokes
I once read a twilight fic where edward boiled himself like a lobster in the bath for hours so he’d be warm when he made out with bella
thenbhdofficial
need me a freak like that