dean is just like… my whole persona is a performance that was ingrained in me since i was a child. i am terrified of vulnerability. i repress 90% of the thoughts that enter my mind. i love with every fiber of my being. i feel like all i do is feel. i feel like all i do is cry. i feel like all i do is yell. sorrow and happiness are too painful, so i lash out in rage, the only feeling that has become comfortable for me. i hate my father. i love my father. i am terrified of my father. i want to be my father. being like my father is one of my worst fears. trauma has become so normal for me that i don’t know how to function without it. i am ashamed of the things that actually make me happy. my performance has become so second nature that i’m not even sure what actually does make me happy anymore. i love my mother. i hate my mother. i wish my mother lived up to the ideal i had of her in my head. i love my mother for showing me that i’m actually more like her than my father. i cannot fall in love because it will be taken from me. i want to be loved more than anything in this whole world. loving women is easy, comfortable, and i wish i could give the women i’ve loved more of myself. loving men is uncomfortable, terrifying, yet it is unstoppable. i wish i was able to love men more freely. i know god. i’m faithless. i’m in love with an angel. his is the only love of a man i’ve ever experienced to be comforting. my love for my angel is painful. i run from it. i run from him. i want him to stay more than i can possibly say. killing comes easy to me. killing is all i’ve ever known. it’s all i’ve ever been told i was good at. i enjoy killing. i hate myself for enjoying it. a secret part of me wants to be gentle instead. i love my brother. i would die for my brother. i resent my brother because taking care of him is the point of my existence. i don’t know who i am without my brother. sometimes i wish i was able to exist separate from my brother. my love for my brother is what has kept me alive this long. my love for my brother has cost me my life more than once. i want a normal life. i could never have a normal life. a normal life would bore me. i long for it anyway. i am a torturer. i am a savior. i am damned. i am saved. i am a monster. i am a broken man. i am a hero.

spn: castiel won’t be in the upcoming episode but sam and d-

me:

reasons everyone should be watching lucifer:

My fortune cookie wants me to write fanfic

This is the fanfic fortune.  It shall inspire you to fanfic.

Reblog to cure writer’s block

I know everyone hates writing these. I hate asking for help but I wouldn’t unless I was really in a bind. Anything helps. Sharing. Love you guys.

Thank you to the people who’ve shared. That in itself means a lot.

please please please read this

some guy just came into our house and told us that our house is illegal. we made a room for our grandma in our garage and it only has one exit and a heater in her room, so we either have to kick her out (she’s 69 and is dependent on us to live), put her in a nursing home (which we don’t have money for and would never do), or pay 10,000+ dollars to move the heater, fix the air conditioning, put in a window, and move the attic door into the hallway. we spend $350 a MONTH on food for 6 people, plus a child who is allergic to almost everything, $735 on mortage, and the rest of that goes to bills and gas. we were going to get help from the state, but my grandma’s income puts us over the limit to receive that help. we either have to fix all that stuff or get fined, and as the fines pile up, our house will be taken from us, leaving us homeless.

i need your guys’ help. if you be willing to donate to help us repair our house, PLEASE let me know. we are setting up a gofundme ASAP, or if you have a paypal that would work too. i have an autistic 21 year old sister, a disabled 12 year old sister, a disabled dad, and elderly grandma. i don’t want them to lose their house, lose all they’ve ever known. please help. 

MzMidnight3@gmail.com is the paypal, if you want to help that way.

https://www.gofundme.com/bring-the-house-up-to-code

the gofundme is up!

update on condition: apparently if we don’t get money raised fast enough, me and my little sister could be taken away by DHS for unsafe living conditions. i don’t want to put my little sister through that, she doesn’t desrve that. please, share this. share it with anyone you can. reblog it, copy the link and post it on instagram, facebook, twitter, reddit, snapchat, literally anywhere. just please, share this. 

Please buy me a coffee

I wasn’t going to do this, but I’m getting desperate. I’m trying to save money to move out, but the way things are going, it’s not looking so hot. So I set up a ko-fi link here.

I can write fanfiction or do photo edits. You can see examples here and here. 3 bucks isn’t much, but every little bit adds up. And I would greatly, greatly appreciate the help if you could donate. If you can’t donate, please reblog and spread the word. Thank you all in advance.

Just a reminder: I can write SPN fanfic or do SPN photo edits. Thanks to all who have already boosted this <333

Donated and shared. Hope it helps!

name one native american intellectual off the top of your head, name one native american actor or actress off the top of your head, name one native american senator, one native american news anchor, or an author or a tv personality or a singer or a poet or a comedian, name a single native american teacher you’ve had, can you? probably not 

ok so now think of one native american cartoon character you know of or a sports team relating to native americans whether it’s their actual name or their team logo, or a town you live in or near with a “native” name bet a lot of these things came to you right away i bet you didn’t even have to think 

needing native representation in media, education and government are not decoy issues, the commercialization and appropriation of native cultures are not decoy issues, the lack of native representation is institutional oppression at work 

White people specifically need to reblog this, I don’t CARE if it makes you uncomfortable–that’s the point. Listen to Native voices about Native issues PLEASE

MY TIME HAS COME

Her name was Thocmetony. 

They called her Sarah.

I live in the same place where Sarah (Thocmetony) Winnemucca lived and breathed and I grew up in schools that never said her name. My teachers discussed Nevada’s early history by the means of how many pounds of silver the mines produced, and the “unfortunate but civilized” cannibals that died in our mountains (the Donner Party).

A woman who should have been The Most Famous Native American Woman by the end of the American-Imperialist era, Sarah Winnemucca has been all but erased from the US historical narrative. Half of the landmarks in northern Nevada are named after her, her grandfather Truckee, and her father Chief Winnemucca*, but the majority of our schools don’t bother to mention them. (*Paiutes don’t have chiefs; their white neighbors insisted.)

Sarah did so, so much. Often for so little - she won so many battles that were later ignored, overturned, or “officially” recognized but not locally. The freshly post-civil-war US government sought to economize the Native struggle, and Sarah fought back with the only thing she was allowed to fight with - words.

Like any Paiute survived the unpredictability of food and weather in the Nevada High Dessert, Sarah survived every battle she lost. She was a tree that sprouted two new branches to every limb cut off; she was a princess by White Title but also by the spirit of a willpower so great, the only definition that could be remotely applicable for it would have to be “R O Y A L”. She had no weapons but a voice, which was “very pretty to hear” according to many who heard her. (And she was heard by very many.)

Sarah is most known for her lectures. She traveled up and down the west and east coast, in an era that didn’t always include rail travel - in an era that didn’t always include horse travel. Years before any Native Americans began to gain any stage-fame, Sarah was preforming in little rooms crowded with 1860′s Western-Victorian women as (The Princess Sarah). In reality, the performance was a girl dressed in Fake Indian Clothes White People Expect lecturing them on the Paiute people. She would tell stories that charmed her audience but quickly focused lectures on the struggles of Native People, and Paiutes especially. Sarah lived during a time when it was appropriate for the local newspaper to suggest that they deal with the “Indian problem” via extermination.

But she did so much more than lecture. Sarah understood that her attention was needed more-or-less everywhere - the wives of the Men in Charge, the Armies of the Men in Charge, and the President of The Men In Charge.

She traveled back and forth between Native war parties during the Bannock War, working directly with U.S. Army Generals, endlessly negotiating for peace. She brokered for food whenever the government and/or locals decided to cut off their food supply (which was astoundingly often). In addition to learning English, she could to read and write (a time when illiteracy was common), and then learned Spanish after that. Just. You know. To talk suffrage with the Mexicans. Nbd.

She went to the President of the United States as an official “royal princess” with her father Chief** Winnemucca. She often helped beg for more land to grow more food, or to at least have the government supply it- the dessert is not an easily survivable place. Paiutes were forced to stay on reservations, and in the dessert, there just aren’t enough birds for bellies. (**Add “king” to the list of things that are Not Paiute, right up there with Chief.)

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

Ya’ll know what an Indian School is? Cultural eugenics. It was a program that kidnapped Native American children, stripped them of their given names, and taught them to act More White. Kids were shamed for doing anything that might be deemed “savage.” Sarah fought to have Paiute children taught by Paiute teachers. She did it, too, until all “Indian children” were required by law to attend boarding schools. Regardless of this loss, in my experience modern Paiutes are hugely into supporting the education of their children and preserving their culture.

NOT ONLY was she super politically involved as an activist, but Sarah was also pretty damn bold with her personal life. She married several times, and to white men. Biracial couples were illegal at several points in her life. Homegirl had SEVERAL, bless her heart.

Tl;dr Sarah Winnemucca should be a common household name, more common than Sacajawea or Pocahontas. She worked tirelessly for peace. Don’t erase her from our narrative. 

Educate yourselves:

Life Among the Paiutes: Their Wrongs and Claims - autobiography by Sarah Winnemucca

Sarah Winnemucca, biography by Sally Zanjani

Or this really thin article on American National Biography Online. (The bottom of this article has a lot more sources that I -can confirm- are pretty solid. Wikipedia, however, is not “pretty solid” when cross-referenced with primary documents. I do not recommend.)

Buffy Sainte-Marie

Buffy Sainte-Marie was born in 1941 on the Piapot Plains Cree First Nation Reserve in the Qu'Appelle Valley, Saskatchewan, Canada. She is the first Indigenous person to win a coveted Oscar in 1983 for her song, Up Where We Belong. One of her main goals is to educate people around the world about Indigenous people and to reverse the associated negative stereotypes. She was blacklisted by the American government for her outspoken views on the Vietnam War and Indigenous rights. “Recognizing the power of her songwriting and activism, the Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon administrations considered her an ‘artist to be suppressed,’ and Sainte-Marie all but disappeared from the US music industry.” The first link is to her webpage - with her latest album. The second is to a Rolling Stone interview, the third to her singing.

http://buffysainte-marie.com/

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/polaris-winner-buffy-sainte-marie-on-kanye-joni-mitchell-leonard-cohen-20151001

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTqV1pnQoos

Buffy wrote several popular protest songs - including Universal soldier. This one is my favorite.

Buffy Sainte Maire - “My country ‘Tis Of Thy People You’re Dying .

Now that your big eyes have finally opened Now that you’re wondering how must they feel Meaning them that you’ve chased across America’s movie screens Now that you’re wondering “how can it be real?” That the ones you’ve called colourful, noble and proud In your school propaganda They starve in their splendor? You’ve asked for my comment I simply will render

My country ‘tis of thy people you’re dying.

Now that the longhouses breed superstition You force us to send our toddlers away To your schools where they’re taught to despise their traditions. Forbid them their languages, then further say That American history really began When Columbus set sail out of Europe, then stress That the nation of leeches that conquered this land Are the biggest and bravest and boldest and best. And yet where in your history books is the tale Of the genocide basic to this country’s birth, Of the preachers who lied, how the Bill of Rights failed, How a nation of patriots returned to their earth? And where will it tell of the Liberty Bell As it rang with a thud O'er Kinzua mud And of brave Uncle Sam in Alaska this year?

My country ‘tis of thy people you’re dying

Hear how the bargain was made for the West: With her shivering children in zero degrees, Blankets for your land, so the treaties attest, Oh well, blankets for land is a bargain indeed, And the blankets were those Uncle Sam had collected From smallpox-diseased dying soldiers that day. And the tribes were wiped out and the history books censored, A hundred years of your statesmen have felt it’s better this way. And yet a few of the conquered have somehow survived, Their blood runs the redder though genes have paled. From the Grand Canyon’s caverns to craven sad hills The wounded, the losers, the robbed sing their tale. From Los Angeles County to upstate New York The white nation fattens while others grow lean; Oh the tricked and evicted they know what I mean.

My country ‘tis of thy people you’re dying.

The past it just crumbled, the future just threatens; Our life blood shut up in your chemical tanks. And now here you come, bill of sale in your hands And surprise in your eyes that we’re lacking in thanks For the blessings of civilization you’ve brought us, The lessons you’ve taught us, the ruin you’ve wrought us Oh see what our trust in America’s brought us.

My country ‘tis of thy people you’re dying.

Now that the pride of the sires receives charity, Now that we’re harmless and safe behind laws, Now that my life’s to be known as yourheritage, Now that even the graves have been robbed, Now that our own chosen way is a novelty Hands on our hearts we salute you your victory, Choke on your blue white and scarlet hypocrisy Pitying the blindness that you’ve never seen That the eagles of war whose wings lent you glory They were never no more than carrion crows, Pushed the wrens from their nest, stole their eggs, changed their story; The mockingbird sings it, it’s all that he knows. “Ah what can I do?” say a powerless few With a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye Can’t you see that their poverty’s profiting you.

My country ‘tis of thy people you’re dying.

While we’re talking about indigenous figures, I’d like to mention David Elliott, who was born in the Tsartlip reserve in 1910. He was a speaker of Saanich (Coast Salish) and there are only about five speakers left today. This language is spoken by the Saanich people in coastal British Columbia, and like all indigenous peoples, the use of Saanich was seriously repressed because of the Canadian residential school system.

In the 1960s, there was an initiative to start teaching the language again. What David Elliott was create a writing system for Saanich, called SENĆOŦEN ( /səntʃaθən/), because he realized it was difficult to teach a language without an orthography. He tried to write the language phonetically (like the English alphabet) but found that it was difficult to do with Saanich, so he studied linguistics in Victoria and created his own alphabet for it instead.

Sources: [ x ], also learned about David Elliott in class

gal gadot is a zionist who served in the IDF & supports palestinian genocide, dont see the fucking wonder woman movie

IDF service is mandatory. Any sources for the rest?

Why

This is demonstrating why you absolutely do not pour water on a grease fire.

holy shit

Okaaaay. If any of you actually have a grease fire in the kitchen put the lid on the pan. It will suffocate the flames. Don’t pour water on it, and don’t freak out. Cook safely!

Or throw flour on it to smother it.

/quick safety announcement

NO, DO NOT USE FLOUR, DO NOT USE FLOUR TO SMOTHER A FIRE.

YOU HAVE TO USE BAKING SODA.

Throwing flour into a fire can cause it to combust and make the fire worse because FLOUR/SUGAR IS FLAMMABLE. One cup of flour into a grease fire can have the explosive force of dynamite.

The reason you use baking soda is that it releases carbon dioxide when heated, and CO2 is a fire suppressant.

REBLOGGING FOR LAST COMMENT TO SAVE LIVES

Keep a container of baking soda near your stove, but not on the back - you won't want to reach across flames to grab it. We've always done this in my house and it has been a lifesaver more than once. If you drop non-greasy food into the burner it also works to quickly keep that from becoming a worse problem.

Why have I have seen exactly zero posts upset about Alicia or Tasha Banes if the reason people are upset is because of deaths of under represented minority women being killed to further manpain?

honestly I don’t think we knew them as well, this was only the 2nd episode for the brother and sister characters and the first and only episode for their mother, so didn’t have the impact that long-running characters like Kevin and Charlie did when they died.  I think Eileen could have had a great relationship with Sam thought we’d only seen her a few times - hate that they killed her off! 

Alicia Banes was in the same number of episodes as Eileen, though. Eileen's death was already hinted at and alluded to, because we knew the MoL were after her for the death of one of their own, and that they were planning to go after the people the Winchesters were close to. Alicia's came out of nowhere and had nothing to do with the main plot, AT ALL. It would literally not have affected the main plot in any form had she lived.

People got a trending hash tag to fire the writers over the death of a deaf white woman, but have said NOTHING about the death of a biracial woman in the episode immediately before it. I've seen multiple people say they're going to stop watching, or boycott the show because they killed off another female minority - in reference to Eileen. With NO mention of Alicia.

Charlie was in 7 episodes. Kevin was 14. He was in literally twice as many episodes as she was. He LIVED WITH SAM AND DEAN. And, again, I saw plenty of posts where people said they'd stop watching, or boycott the show because they killed off another minority - in reference to Charlie. With NO mention of it when Kevin died.

Honestly, right now... it sure as hell seems to me the fans only consider a character a minority and only seem to think their deaths are worth being upset over if those characters are white women.

Spoilers but mostly a reminder

Fundamental tenet of the show to which I have aligned myself, the tenet told to me as a warning before I started watching:

Everyone dies. Everyone. Dies. EVERYONE DIES ON THIS SHOW.

In the 250ish eps this show has aired, there have been 4 episodes where no one died. 4. There have been at least 7 episodes where Dean himself has died at least once in the episode. That’s not Sam and Dean, that’s just Dean. So, >twice as many eps where ONE of the main characters dies than there are eps where no one does.

You know why the POC/LGBT/Differently abled (I do not know the preferred term there, please let me know if that is not it) characters die so often? Two reasons. Number 1: because this show actually has a shit ton of representation for those people compared to other shows. Number 2: because everyone else dies too. Even cishet white guys. Hell, usually cishet white guys.

I loved that character. I did. I still do. She will feature in fics if I think I’m good enough a writer to remember to do sign language. But she died because that’s the show. (And also probably because she slept with Sam and we know that’s a one way ticket to dead town)

@porcupine-girl Straight white women… you mean like Eileen? Because from where I am sitting, there were four episodes in a row where minorities were killed and the only one that got people so pissed off they’re throwing in the towel on the show was the death of the straight white girl who was also deaf. Where was this outrage when the Asian woman, two black women, a middle eastern (I think he was, anyway) man, and a black man were killed in the episodes prior to Eileen’s death? 

I can name 7 LGBT characters right now, including bisexual God and a biracial lesbian couple and I can’t name another show with that many that isn’t a show ABOUT being LGBT. Tons of biracial couples on the show too. I can name lots of Asian characters, tons of black characters, several middle eastern characters, characters who were in wheelchairs, a blind character, a deaf character, multiple people who have changed gender, and even multiple instances of that rarest of all Hollywood beasts WOMEN OVER 30… and most of those (not all, but many) were POC/LGBT/etc for no apparent reason. As in, the story in no way required them to be that color/orientation/level of ableness. Does the show still have problems? Sure it does. But I didn’t start watching this show for the representation and I’m not going to stop because someone died on a show where everyone dies. 

I haven't seen a single post upset about Alicia Banes, even though she was an interesting character who also happened to be a minority who was in several episodes whose death did NOTHING to further the story. There was literally no reason to kill her. Her death was less vital to the story than even Eileen's, and with less foreshadowing, but not one post I have seen has said anything about it. Also, on a different note: the ep in which she died featured 3 PoC (2 of those characters being canonically biracial, 1 of whom is canonically LGBTQIA whose sexuality is openly discussed during the episode) out of approximately 9 people who actually spoke during the ep. It also featured 4 women out of those 9 people, including a woman over the age of 60, and a woman who bested in combat a man who is specifically trained to fight and kill and torture since he was a child, who only got her because he tasered her in the back.

Spoilers but mostly a reminder

Fundamental tenet of the show to which I have aligned myself, the tenet told to me as a warning before I started watching:

Everyone dies. Everyone. Dies. EVERYONE DIES ON THIS SHOW.

In the 250ish eps this show has aired, there have been 4 episodes where no one died. 4. There have been at least 7 episodes where Dean himself has died at least once in the episode. That’s not Sam and Dean, that’s just Dean. So, >twice as many eps where ONE of the main characters dies than there are eps where no one does.

You know why the POC/LGBT/Differently abled (I do not know the preferred term there, please let me know if that is not it) characters die so often? Two reasons. Number 1: because this show actually has a shit ton of representation for those people compared to other shows. Number 2: because everyone else dies too. Even cishet white guys. Hell, usually cishet white guys.

I loved that character. I did. I still do. She will feature in fics if I think I’m good enough a writer to remember to do sign language. But she died because that’s the show. (And also probably because she slept with Sam and we know that’s a one way ticket to dead town)

oh good grief

If I see one more post about how she only died to further Sam and Dean’s angst and pain, I swear to Chuck…

LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS ON THE SHOW IS TO FURTHER SAM AND DEAN’S ANGST AND PAIN AND STORY.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING. THAT IS WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT.

ALSO, IT IS SUPERNATURAL - EVERYONE DIES. THIS IS THE SHOW THAT REGULARLY KILLS *THE MAIN CHARACTERS* REMEMBER? Does no one remember that one of the main character’s girlfriends was violently killed off in the very first episode? Have we forgotten how they’ve brought characters back *seasons* later JUST TO KILL THEM?

But I get it, I mean - since she’s died she can’t come back on the show anymore.

OH WAIT. THAT’S RIGHT. THIS IS SUPERNATURAL. (Hell, she’s even already technically died once.)

I love(d) Charlie. But she is not the reason I started watching this show, and her death will sure as hell not be why I stop. (Even if I’m wrong in my current theories and she stays dead.) And whether or not she was fridged - again, this Supernatural. They’ve killed Sam to cement Dean’s revenge story, they’ve killed Dean to cement Sam’s, they’ve killed just about every character that has appeared in multiple episodes and a helluva lot of the ones who were only in one. Most of them they’ve killed more than once.

Yes, they killed off another female character. They kill the male ones with just as much frequency. And they’ve introduced a lot of new female characters, too, many of whom they haven’t killed yet. (They will though. You know why? Because IT’S SUPERNATURAL AND EVERYONE DIES.)

Just wanted to let you guys know that I’m in a really good place. I’ve never been happier and content. Plus my friend just got a new kitty.

My life is complete

I am absolutely dumbfounded. I’ve been on Tumblr for about 6 years and i’ve been producing original content for the past two years straight and nothing on this website has surprised me more than here post. In case you’re new here  ( you probably are; my follower count almost doubled thanks to this post lol) I specialize in landscape photography with the occasional dispense of good vibes. 

I’ve taken pictures like this

Traveled to places like this

stayed up all night studying the milky way like this

Dabbled in mind bending creativity like this

Even visited different countries like Italy

But none of my posts have ever been as successful as this selfie with a cat

Conclusion; The internet is a weird place and every body definitely needs more kitties in their life. Feel free to check out my original photography and shoot me a question if you want anything answered. 

Have an absolutely beautiful day everyone :)

That’s because your smile in that selfie outshines the Galaxy (the kitten is cute too)

Reading about Congress bills can be dry, so here’s a quick thread on the eight bills (among 2,000 - according to Al Jazeera English) introduced since Trump took office in January.

I will update this post with a link explaining each bill - which has far-reaching and devastating consequences for Americans, especially low-income Americans - in a very short bit.

Captain America knows what’s good.

STAY WOKE

This is the Captain America we need in 2017.

Let’s hear Cap’s entire speech:

“Listen to me– all of you out there! You were told by this man– your hero– that America is the greatest country in the world! He told you that Americans were the greatest people– that America could be refined like silver, could have the impurities hammered out of it, and shine more brightly! He went on about how precious America was – how you needed to make sure it remained great! And he told you anything was justified to preserve that great treasure, that pearl of great price that is America!

“Well, I say America is nothing! Without its ideals– its commitment to the freedom of all men, America is a piece of trash! A nation is nothing! A flag is a piece of cloth! I fought Adolf Hitler not because America was great, but because it was fragile! I knew that liberty could be snuffed out here as in Nazi Germany! As a people, we were no different than them! When I returned, I saw that you nearly did turn American into nothing! And the only reason you’re not less then nothing– is that it’s still possible for you to bring freedom back to America!”

–Captain America, “What If (Captain America Were Not Revived Until Today)?” Volume 1 #44 (Peter Gillis, writer), April 1984 

^ THIS IS THE REAL STEVE ROGERS RIGHT HERE

This is the Steve Rogers I’d actually WANT to read a story about

When people ask me why I love the Captain.

There are two types of Captain America writer

There are the “Captain America is a backwards, “Old Fashioned” fascist prick who is a mindlessly patriotic flag waver baffled and confused by the modern day and yearning for the “Good Old Days”

And then there are the writers who ACTUALLY GET THE CHARACTER

The above panels are an example of the latter

Steve Rogers is a progressive liberal hero who is loyal to FREEDOM…from persecution, from fear, from oppression…and to justice for all people, regardless of where they come from

Hopefully we can get this Captain America back after that ridiculous Hydra Cap/Secret Empire storyline comes to an end.

This is why I argue that Steve is chaotic good. This is my Captain.