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Lore, Scrolls, And Quests (Shall I Say Campaign)

@magicscrollsandsupernaturallore

Holy. No I mean, wholly.

sometimes dnd archetypes annoy me because like. at the core of a paladin oath it's being so dedicated to something it gives you superpowers

they're not christian camp counselors or cops they're fucking autistic

I know this is a meme but Paladins are genuinely one of the most flavour-rich classes in the game.

An oath is a fascinating cornerstone of characterisation simply because a person, for whatever reason, has been driven to condense their permanent identity into a few words. It's this immovable pillar of their character magically anchored to the core of their being, and what's more? It's by choice.

You don't fall into a Paladin oath the way you might with a Warlock pact & nowhere does it say an oath's power has to be granted by another entity.

Every character has a core, but Paladins chose theirs. Taking an oath is looking at one thing, anything and going this. this is worth it. I will take this into myself and swear never to stray from it and it will inform everything I have been and everything I am now and everything I will become in the future.

Imagine loyalty so extreme it produces its own divinity and tell me that isn't worthy of a story.

Once again I bear the burden of the only person who has been right about anything ever

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hobbit sayings that I’m inventing for my own devious purposes

‘washes their neighbours’ windows’ - a person who is too nosy. took origin (pretty much Always hypocritical) 

‘starts their 4 o'clock tea at noon’ - a person who is overly cautious. took origin

‘they’d take their pony into the bar’ - a person who is very oblivious to what is going around them. origin unclear. common in buckland 

‘can’t find the nose on a pig’ - when someone is very drunk. started with the proudfeet 

‘swims like a baggins’ - can’t swim. took origin. obsolete for obvious reasons 

‘goody two hats, soon to be none’ - a person who is so annoyingly ‘good’ that they make you want to trash them. took origin

‘their head is a hat rack’ - someone can’t think. origins in buckland. became wildly popular through use in gondor and is still in use to this day 

‘harder than finding your child at a birthday party’ - a task is difficult. origins in buckland 

‘can’t tell a bird from a butterfly’ - a person who is very foolish and naive. origins unclear. most common in south farthing 

‘eyes like a spinning wheel’ - someone who is greedy for other people’s things. origin under dispute. 

‘kissed by a fairy’ - a person who is insane. hobbiton origin. used extensively 

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“This is a tapestry I made myself! I just finished it!” 

“…. this is…. big.”

“Eighty feet long, ten high, in forty panels! It was originally going to be sixty feet, but then the Thomas Malory Arthuriana got big and I had to put more stuff in.” 

“… Malory published in the fifteenth century.” 

“Do you have any idea how long it takes one person to embroider eight thousand square feet of tapestry?” 

“You’ve had a lot of free time in the last eight hundred years, haven’t you?” 

“Not once I took up embroidery as a hobby, no!” 

“Want to see my stalagmite cultivation work?”

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Tears of the Kingdom is the first time the Zelda series has produced a direct, it's-the-same-Link-we-swear-you-guys sequel since 2007's Phantom Hourglass, so this is probably many contemporary fans' first turn on this particular merry-go-round.

Allow me to assure you: there is no great mystery, and there is no master plan. Every worldbuilding inconsistency and every bit of timeline weirdness between Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom is purely a product of the fact that the Zelda franchise's writers have the creative impulse control of a pack of squirrels, and don't give a single solitary fuck about continuity.

When you accept that this is true, and you see how cavalierly they're willing to treat continuity even between two games which are ostensibly direct sequels starring the same cast of characters and set just a few years apart, you may begin to understand why the timeline of the series as a whole looks the way that it does.

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@inverted-trashcan replied:

i get your point. I promise you I do. But where the HELL did all the shieka tech go. The guardians i can see being all scrapped (impressive they all got got), the towers could sink back into the ground…but please god just give me ONE BOOK telling me the divine beasts left hyrule as a final will of the champions! or something! HOW DO YOU LOSE FOUR GIANT ROBOT ANIMALS?!

I mean, we can fanwank whatever justification we want, but the real answer is that it didn't "go" anywhere. It retroactively never existed.

In Breath of the Wild's continuity, the Ancients are all-but-explicitly stated to be the ancestors of the modern Sheikah people, so it makes sense that all the Ancient tech that's lying around is Sheikah-made.

In Tears of the Kingdom's continuity, the writers decided they had a better idea, and now the Ancients are – and, critically, always have been – an Ancient Aliens/UFOlogy-inspired culture called the Zonai.

Obviously, the surviving Ancient tech can't possibly be Sheikah-made if the Ancients were the Zonai. Any suggestion to the contrary is clearly the product of your over-active imagination.

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i love the original frankenstein novel a normal amount

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How can you read "I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other" as a closeted teenager and not be changed on an atomic level because of it

This is supposed to be the outfit that protects Link from acquiring frostbite.

Between this top and the mandatory acrylics that come with the new arm, gotta say I'm loving how much Nintendo keeps leaning into GNC Link XD

Update: Just realized they gave him a set of blue acrylics for his left hand

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Link really do be out here serving cunt 💅💅

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i know he's evil but i do have to respect Dracula for the sheer freak factor. like the man couldn't be less normal if he tried. THERE IS NO REASON TO SCALE THE WALLS LIKE A LIZARD. YOU OWN THE CASTLE. YOU CAN WALK. but no he is a little freak at heart and must be weird as fuck at all times lest he take psychic damage. and personally i can relate.

do you guys ever accidentally refer to yourself by a completely different name. like something you’ve never even thought about going by. i was jokingly reprimanding myself for something and somehow referred to myself as ben twice in a row. my brother in christ who the fuck is ben

cant believe i got possessed by a demon with the lamest demon name ever

Munihuang didnt say it was a demon who possessed you though