I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:

Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.

Think about it.

Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.

Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.

They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.

Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.

The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.

Everybody wins. Nobody dies.

THE SHAKESPERE AU I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED

If I’m weird around you, that means I’m comfortable with you.

Please be happy for other people. Your time will come.

i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask

It’s garnering more and more urgency because the cat’s importance is growing (the cat is going to be the ring bearer, oh no!)

The First Lady asks her fiancé if they should get a fancy collar with the cats name for the wedding and her fiancé throws her arms around her and says “great, would you go do that tomorrow?”

the EMOTIONAL STRUGGLE I AM CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH

“Babe can I borrow your laptop?”

“Sure, password is the cat’s name”

Lana Parrilla | Fan Expo Dallas, 2019

what a time to be alive

I’m so confused and laughing so hard like

What?!??!!!

I’m actually laughing so fucking hard right now.

Read the article and it would seem the upset is because (minor spoilers) Bruce Wayne adopts Dick Grayson and then Dick finds out that the Batcave is beneath Wayne Manor and comments “Wow! Batman lives in Bruce Wayne’s basement!” (Or something to that affect) and then later when Batman asks Dick to come with him in the batmobile Dick is worried about leaving without “asking his Dad, Bruce Wayne” so Batman tells him that Bruce Wayne and Batman have joint custody of him so it’s ok. And Dick Grayson, an orphan who until recently didn’t have one dad, is overjoyed to find out that he now has two!

People are offended because Batman is in a gay relationship with himself I’m dying

LeGoBaTman

— Ellie Wriglesworth, The Harpy (via 581d00)

Dear White people,

actually…

Dear non-Mexicans,

Okay so, tomorrow is May 5th or Cinco de Mayo, if you’re that type of person. 

And contrary to popular belief, it is not Mexico’s Independence day. That day is September 16th (celebrated on the 15th). So if you believe you are celebrating Mexico’s independence, then you are wrong.

Also, if you wear a sombrero and dress in “typical’ Mexican fashion, then you are being racist. And if you use this day as an excuse to get wasted on tequila then you’re just gross and have reduced a pretty significant day in Mexican history to a day where you eat tacos and get bombed on margaritas.

Also, Cinco de Mayo isn’t really celebrated nationwide in Mexico. It’s mostly celebrated in Puebla. Because Cinco de Mayo is also know as “La Batalla de Puebla” or “The Battle of Puebla” where the Mexican army won, despite the odds, against the French army during the French intervention in Mexico.

Now, I need you to remember that because it is important. To me, since Puebla is where my mother was born. To my people. And to my culture. 

Cinco de Mayo is not yours to celebrate. It is not your excuse to get drunk on what will be a Thursday.

Now, despite that being said, I don’t mind if you celebrate Cinco de Mayo so long as you know it’s significance and you don’t reduce the day to gross stereotypes.

Respect the culture and Mexicans will invite you over for a cook out and a good conversation. We are not what you see on tv. We are a diverse people who love our culture and don’t mind sharing as long as there is respect.

Respect Cinco de Mayo and Enjoy Cinco de Mayo.

shoutout to all tumblr users throughout the years for making this website monetarily worthless to the point where whatever corporation owns it ends up selling it 

using tumblr is radical action

But it’s over now ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾

I want to apologise to

- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown

- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world

- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music

- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever

- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer. 

- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work. 

- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much

- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.

- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity. 

It costs 0 dollars to be mindful and not use cinco de mayo as an excuse to disrespect and take advantage of Mexican culture

hot take: covers of “can’t help falling in love” by queer artists will always be better because the line “shall i stay? would it be a sin?” reaches its full emotive potential

Admiral Paris: [looking at Seven and Chakotay] They make a cute couple, huh?

Janeway: Well, they certainly are… standing next to each other.

What I wouldn’t give for a docile bear the size of a house

The gentleman and the chickadee are perfect.

Our Mother Tongues is a pretty interesting site about Native American languages! You can see videos and hear audio recordings of people speaking different Native languages from all over North America. The Project is dedicated to saving and promoting the learning of Native American languages, and focuses on the importance of keeping them alive. Check it out!

http://www.ourmothertongues.org/home.aspx

Yeah, this.

I’m a queer woman who stopped trying to get dates at gay bars because of Katy Perry and straight women.

See, I’d found this girl I liked at a gay bar. She was cute, she was funny, I bought her a drink, we danced, I kissed her, I asked for her phone number–

–and she said “what, you think I’m some kind of fag?”

Katy Perry normalized the whole “kissing girls ‘just to try it’” thing, and I got harassed in what was supposed to be my safe space as a result.

And to make matters worse?

When I first talked about it here on Tumblr many years ago, I was accused by a bunch of straight girls of being predatory because I felt it wasn’t fair of her to do this. Note that my problem wasn’t with her not giving me her phone number–it was with suddenly being called a fag in a place where that kind of language isn’t okay.

So yeah, fuck straight people in queer spaces who decided to come there for their own entertainment rather than to be good allies to the community.

☠️🐸🍋🍓🍧

[ Patreon / twitter / instagram / Galaxy themes / LINEstore / shop 2/ print ]