Hey
you
the teen reading this? who thought they were a boy, but realized they are (or most likely are) a trans girl?
you're allowed to be
you're not weird, you're not creepy, you're not predatory
you're allowed to be a girl, and you're a wonderful one at that
One thing that really sucks about dealing with and talking about antitransmasculinity is that a supreme function of it is instilling within transmascs / men the concept that talking about the things that harm them directly, attempting to create language based around their experiences, that any mention of the intense and dire circumstance that many transmasculine people have suffered from or are currently suffering in — is actually an act of harm toward other queer and trans people, particularly, toward transfems + trans women.
It really sucks because I’ll see transmascs have intense reactions to another transmasc saying something like “it really sucks that people are constantly talking about my transmasculinity in reference to male privilege while I’m also being inundated with news about hate crimes and suicides of transmasc people” one that’s like “no, we have it tough but trans women undoubtedly have it harder. It’s not taking anything from you to acknowledge that trans women have it harder!!! We as transmascs have to admit it’s hard for us but it’s always harder for trans women!! You have to admit you aren’t the most oppressed™️!!!” And it just hurts so bad cause I know for a fact they’re doing it because they believe that’s the way to be an ally to trans women. That dismissing and devaluing their pain and advising other transmascs to stop advocating for themselves is how you show that you care. I can’t even be mad because that was literally me for a long time. I was rewarded vehemently for upholding antitransmasculinity via blatantly denying it and punishing other transmascs who spoke about it via shunning them as one who doesn’t care about transfems or transmisogyny. It’s not true!!!! These things are not in conflict with one another. I care for transfems even more than I did in those days. I actually push back against transmisogyny/noir in ways that matter now. These things aren’t in conflict.
Combatting antitransmasculinity and combatting transmisogyny/noir are intertwined struggles!!!! They reinforce each other in a constant loop!!!! I am so desperate to stop watching people be convinced that doing antitransmasculinity is actually fighting transmisogyny. It’s not fighting transmisogyny to help cis people keep burying more of us by upholding the blatant lie that they don’t target transmasculine people, and tagging on “oh I mean they don’t target us as much” and pretending like that makes it better in a world where trans people are a third more likely to be killed by a stranger than cis people are. I am so fucking sorry so many people are being taught that it is. That how you fight for trans women is telling transmascs that nobody is after them. That how you fight for trans women is by convincing transmascs they have no real reason to be afraid. There’s legit nothing to do except what I’ve been doing, which is being someone who vocally fights antitransmasculinity in tandem with many many transfems, who never pretends like my struggle isn’t also theirs and theirs mine by virtue of us living in a world that wants us all drowned.
I will conclude this by saying that I’m proud of all the transmascs/men who got out of this pattern of thinking and allow themselves to feel their pain in definitive ways. I’m proud of you for realizing that you don’t have to forgo caring for yourself to be someone who really cares for others. I’m proud of you for not letting people convince you that you’re a danger to trans women because you fight against a danger that is hurting them, too. I’m thankful for every trans woman who has ever listened to me. I’m so thankful for those that didn’t want to hear me at first but didn’t choose to just plug their ears and you let some of my voice get through. I’m so thankful for the transfems and all transmisogyny affected people who are vocal about how upholding antitransmasculinity is not only a danger, but it is Not something that makes you feel safer or protected as someone suffering from transmisogyny. I am so thankful! And I’m also just sorry everything is like *gestures vaguely* this.
I spent the day thrifting with my partner to start feminizing my wardrobe and we kind of did our own thing so we had a fashion show when we got home and YALL. One point my partner put my hair up a way I've never done and w the new clothrs when I looked in the mirror I saw the girl I've always wanted to be smiling back. I started crying from the euphoria
Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.
Please reblog and spread the word
you can be masculine and feminine at the same time. being masculine doesn't make you any less feminine. being feminine doesn't make you any less masculine. there is no inherent morality to any masculinity or femininity you express. you create the meaning behind it by expressing yourself - your joy, your queerness, your health. you are not a reflection of other people's harmful ideas about gender. that's their burden to carry, not yours.
alright fuck it reblog this I'm curious to see how fast it gets flagged
