news headline: Studies Show Millenials Wipe Their Ass More Than Any Other Generation someone in the comments: LOL did they develop an app for ass wiping now? Let me tell you something about the real world kids, it’s hard to find the time to wipe every time you have to go potty when you have a job and responsibilities! Sorry liberal loons, this asshole is not a “safe space”!

I want to see “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” where Guy Fieri is immediately followed by Gordon Ramsay.

ive never been more confused in my entire life

DONT plarp his BEES……what is so difficult to understand about that……..

i saw a millennial ignore a friendly tortoise who need help crossing the street. when i confronted him, he said “who needs turtles when you have iphone apps.” reblog if you would help the friendly tortoise

Where do I download the app to help this tortoise

the app is called, … going outside. thank you

so i’m watching stranger things rn and honestly? bless this diner guy

why can’t i enjoy nice things

me: humanity is awful i can’t believe this there is no goodness or love

me: life is ok actually and i have a reason to live

WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME SO HAPPY EVERYTIME I SEE IT

this is like, the opposite of loss

gain.jpg

this took a surprising turn

LOL

I suffered from really bad chronic nosebleeds when I was a kid and one time i had one so bad it covered my face and chest and shirt. i mean it was everywhere i looked like i’d just eaten someone. so i go to my mom and tap her awake and she opens her eyes to see a blood soaked child leaning over her in the dark saying ‘please help’ and to this day and can still hear her screaming

im crying omg

you ever meet someone and just know…..u just know…they a lizard

what if people got a new name every birthday

what if the name represented how old you were, like every 11 year old was named Josh

“I had my first kiss when I was Greg”

this wasn’t supposed to get notes

important PSA about when your car is smoking

like literally smoking from the engine

white and you smell pancakes? it’s the coolant. panic and pull over, but you’ll live

a slight blue tinge? it’s the oil. panic and pull over, but you’ll live

grey, looks like fire smoke? gasoline; the most combustable and dangerous. pull over and leave the vehicle, pray.

sharing because i didn’t know this when my car started smoking white yesterday and i was so afraid for my life.

Reblogging because a dear friend of my Moms with mechanic experience told me the same thing when I got my license.

So I found this caterpillar on my way to class

We’re bros

I named him chicken nugget

Aaaa he’s turning a duller color… I hope he’s alright

So apparently chicken nugget is a spicebush swallowtail and they turn yellow before they pupate. He was making little silk things everywhere Bruh this caterpie is going to evolve to metapod today my boy isn’t messing around

update hes entirely yellow now

i made him a tube room

hes crawlin all over the place checking it out

its happening

False alarm he moved a bit This guy

??? caterpie doesnt evolve into kakuna

whats he doing

its happening part 2 For Real This Time

chicken nugget using those advanced tactics balancing my man doesnt do anything halfway

i put on some tunez for him so he can get into the metamorphazone

sorry for keeping you all in suspense but chicken nugget is doing fine and he has a cool hat now

hes been chillin like this for a couple days 

hes been in cocoon for 10 days now 🎉🐛🎉

let me know how he’s doing soon

HES BUSTIN OUT

im going to sleep, chicken nugget is snoozin and ill check up on him as soon as i wake up

hope he doesnt party too hard 

🐛 💤 💤

hes gone goth hes in his emoteen stage

CHICKEN NUGGET IS A CHICKEN WING NOW BABY WE HAVE LIFTOFF!!!!!

when will someone look past the 4 I am on the outside and see that inside i’m really a 4.5

Are you a fisherman because I think you’re a reel catch

You spelled real wrong.

Throw this one back into the water boys we’ve got ourselves a city slicker