Wait, it got better.
He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:
For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.
It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton
[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]
[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]
[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]
my beloved mutual, were you aware that you’re the funniest person on the planet?
Healing
Something I wrote in 8th grade:
I HATE THE WAY...
My laugh sounds I laugh at things that aren't funny My smile makes me look fat My smile creates such deep lines on my face I can't accept help when I need it I'm not as bright as I want I'm not good at math I can't read faster than 400 WPM My boobs are too small when I'm standing, but when I'm lying down they're like vast puddles of fat My boobs are too big, and I can't fit them into small clothes I have a bump of fat on my stomach The scars on my thighs look I can't take a compliment I don't have a thigh gap I can't lose weight I have a line above my lips when I smile I can grab a handful of fat on my stomach I'm not strong enough I'm not kind enough I'm not smart enough I'm too tall, but I'm also too short My eyes are gray, not blue I'm so clumsy
_ _ _ _
But that's not true. So, I rewrote it...
I LOVE THE WAY
My laugh sounds I can find joy in the mundane My smile makes me look healthy My smile creates lines on my face I am determined to help myself I can always learn more I'm not the best at math, but I have so many other strengths I can read at 400 WPM My breasts are beautiful, like all breasts My boobs are big, and will someday feed my children I have a bump of fat on my stomach, it means I am healthy The scars on my thighs look, they mean I survived I am humble I am curvy I stopped losing unhealthy amounts of weight I have a line above my lips when I smile I'm strong enough I'm kind enough I'm smart enough I am exactly the size I need to be My eyes are grey and green and blue, it just depends on the light
I am clumsy- I have faults, I am human.
That is beautiful.
I am enough
Completely inactionable fetishes are so funny to me. "I wanna be a robot girl and I want you to install a virus on me." Like okay good luck with that.
I can't apologize enough to the robot girl community for this post. What I said back then was offensive and ill informed, and it no longer represents how I feel.
lots of times if I tell my boyfriend that I am proud of him for dealing with a situation, or that I'm sorry he's having to deal with a situation, he will say "no it's my own fault." meaning that he feels like he doesn't deserve praise or comfort for dealing with a situation that is his fault. (for example a financial problem caused or exacerbated by him having been too anxious or absentminded to deal with the situation sooner.) and I tell him this and I will tell y'all this, that I don't believe that. I think you are even braver and stronger for taking steps to deal with a mess that is of or partly of your own creation, because you have to cope with guilt and shame on top of the thing itself, and because you're fighting against the same ingrained dysfunction in yourself that caused the mess. that's like the bravest and most constructive thing you can do and you should be proud and I am proud of you.
also, mistakes don't mean you deserve to suffer
adUlTs shOUlD liMiT scReEN OUtsidE oF WoRK tO nO MoRE ThAN 2 HOurs. how about we limit work to 2 hours and let me spend 8 hours screen time watching pretty images and reading funny text posts and making virtual love to my mutuals huh >:(
Big update for my allegiances generator!
- Took out the information page.
- Brought back the option to generate a random number of clans.
- Brought back and rewrote the personality, fun facts and extra information section.
- (Hopefully) Made everything easier on the eyes.
- Made kits appearance-only to be easier to read.
There's still a few things I have yet to add/rewrite (kittypet/loner residences, fleshing out fun facts and extra information, rewriting appearances, etc.), so keep an eye out! :D
I used the prompt eldritch for this one but I think this drake veers slightly more whimsical, "high fantasy" vs eldritch. I’ll probably circle back and revisit this design at some point but figured I’d post this one anyway
You might be aegosexual if...
- you enjoy the idea of sex but don’t want to experience it in real life
- you have sexual fantasies but would never want to be IN THEM and the fantasies don’t involve you
- you enjoy reading erotica/ smut fanfics
- - you enjoy absorbing sexual content but it’s never about yourself
- - you like reading smut in third person but find first person to be a huge turn off. And second person is literally The Worst
- you daydream about sexual situations but the people in the daydreams aren’t yourself (or typically even other real people- but your OCs or fictional characters)
- you find yourself looking at attractive people thinking “yeah they’re hot but I don’t want to DO ANYTHING with them”
- imagining the sensory experience of sex makes you question whether it could really feel good as good as it is in your mind
-writing sex scenes is a lot more uncomfortable reading them, even if creating them in your mind is cool
- you sometimes question if you’re really ace because of the content you like to consume. But this is an acespec identity.
A few years ago there was a person who had cultivated an entire list of acespec identities and lists of common traits. I can no longer find those traits or posts.
SO! This I made this! I’d love for other aego people to add on! And then to add your ideas to the original post.
meal ideas!
low energy ("do not ask me to do any prep work at all, so help me god")
- mozzerella cheese wrapped in pepperoni ("pizza tacos"!)
- hummus and pretzels or naan (putting the naan in the microwave for like 10 seconds...heavenly)
- canned chili (with shredded cheese and sour cream if you have it! boom done!)
- instant miso soup (warm and lovely!)
- cheese and cured meat, olives, canned fish, crackers, dried fruit, or whatever easy "charcuterie" type items you like
- alternate bites of apple and spoonfulls of peanut butter (mixing honey or chocolate chips to the peanut butter is my favorite)
- a "deconstructed sandwich": bites of lunch meat, pickles, cheese, cherry tomato, etc (I love roast beef and white cheddar for this)
- yogurt and granola or fruit
medium energy ("I'll boil water but don't ask me to chop shit")
- boiled eggs and fresh veggies (put a little salt on top of the eggs for pizzaz!)
- buttered noodles (take it up to level 10 and add roasted garlic; takes 30 mins in an oven, only one swoop of the knife required)
- baked potato with toppings (I like cheese, bacon, broccoli, green onion, and sour cream)
- quesadilla (add some canned beans, cilantro, or avocado!)
- pot roast (requires a lot of time but not a lot of actual work. I love it with peas!)
- cuban sandwich (bread, swiss, pickle, mustard, ham... my favorite thing to panini-ify by far)
- pan-fried tofu with scallion sauce (this sauce goes well with everything and tofu is no exception)
- pancakes or waffles! (I love mine with jam)
- ham, pickle, and cream cheese roll-ups
- fried eggs (with toast and lots of butter...so comforting)
- fruit smoothie (bananas, frozen strawberries, yogurt...or whatever!)
- I hate salad but could write essays on this copycat olive garden salad (throw it in a bowl! chopping required if you use onion)
- spaghetti (controversial maybe but angel hair > spaghetti noodles)
- pasta salad (olives broccoli fresh mozerella... those little mini pepperonis... yeah)
high energy ("I don't mind chopping some things up!")
- stuffed shells with spinach
- chicken and roasted garlic (oh my god.....one of my all time favorites)
- beef tacos (I like mine with cilantro and onion, and when I'm feeling especially high energy I love a tomatillo salsa)
- chicken alfredo
- tom kha gai (a thai soup and my absolute favorite! you just need access to galangal)
- lasagna! (freezes well and then boom! low energy meal for later)
- pad thai! (not as hard as you'd think, as long as you have access to tamarind paste!)
- potstickers! (this is a lovely group activity if you want to cook with housemates!)
- rice and beans
- bang bang shrimp (ogughfhgfuh I love it. you can also do bang bang tofu!)
- minestrone soup (so many nice veggies!)
- fried rice (put whatever you have on hand in there! broccoli, peas, carrot, and beef is my favorite combo)
- broccoli cheddar soup
- spring rolls and peanut sauce
- skewers (such as beef, onion, zucchini, bell pepper... you don't need a grill, oven works!)
- roasted turkey with garlic parmesean asparagus
- pork chop with mashed potatoes
other tips:
- whenever you think of a meal you'd like to make, take 3 seconds to google search it, take a screenshot of the image results, and put it in a "food ideas" folder. instant visual menu!
- if you're on instagram, there are a bajillion different recipe accounts that post videos! a few of my favorites: jipsoon_kitchen, eatwitzo, cordandthekitchen, chungeats, tiffy.cooks, two_plaid_aprons
This is all great!
I got this website from a nutritionist and it’s become my absolute favorite way to find new recipes. The search filter options are fantastic! Sorting by method really helps me because I think that’s what makes the biggest difference in how much energy you need.
And here are some other ideas for low/medium energy meals:
- Cottage cheese with crackers, fruits and/or veggies.
- Guacamole with veggies and/or tortilla chips
- Chickpeas/garbanzo beans with tzatziki. You could add rice, lettuce/spinach, and/or pita.
- Buffalo cauliflower with yogurt dip. You can roast or microwave the cauliflower, top it with hot sauce, and add bleu cheese or shredded cheddar on top.
@pyroconoclast for the wife (and also myself)