Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

you got camouflaged dude. If you were frog prey...... hoooo boy

i always find "you all need church/jesus" to be a really funny response to people being horny on main because in my experience i never thought about explicit kinky gay sex more than when i was in mass

you try to finger alexandria and break your hand

what if it all works out. HOW ABOUT THAT HUH

Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.

Or they’re also trying to kill Dracula, but exclusively during the parts of the book when he’s turned into a bat.

Dracula invited a human realtor and a mouse realtor to his castle and there were extended periods of time where he would say to his human realtor “Ah please excuse me I have business to attend to” and turn into a bat to talk to his mouse realtor.

can you imagine the discourse that would go on on dog tumblr

3 notes

🌿 bassetdyke Follow

okay how do you pronounce the name of this item -> 👟

a-WOOF (correct) 🟦⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 2.1%

A-woof (wrong) ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 0.2 %

other? (tags) 🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦⬜️ 97.7%

12,301 notes

🐾 chihuawalter Follow

okay we need to talk about the term “small dog syndrome” and its roots in ableism and other forms of systematic puppression. rant under cut.

Read more

252 notes

🎾 aussiedoodled Follow

okay I’m gonna be real I can’t stand antimailmanblr lately. i know we all hate mailmen and there’s nothing wrong with that but I think dogxxing might be a little too fucking far.

🔁 catahoulaz Follow

op please try to stick to nongendered language like mailpeople! using “mailman” exclusively may undermine the point you’re trying to make!

🔁 aussiedoodled Follow

my stance on dogxxing has changed

25 notes

💕 postsfrommycrate Follow

for the love of dog PLEASE stop using the term “tr*pod dogs”!!! this is a derogatory term!!! you should be treating all disabled dogs with love and kindness, not demeaning them!!!!

🔁 tpunk-pup Follow

op I appreciate you trying to support us but there’s actually a very widespread movement to reclaim the term “tripod”. your pinned post says you’re an “able pawed ally”, so I’d recommend you checkout the tripodpunk/tpunk tags on the site to see some more varied stances within the community. a lot of three legged dogs actually prefer to be referred to this way!

🔀 postsfrommycrate Follow

kill yourself

186 notes

🎉 pawpadpride Follow

honestly if you’re still supporting doug the pug after what he said on monday unfollow me idgaf.

1,034 notes

Pawnonymous said:

go get hit by a car

🌕 wolftastic Follow

IS THIS BECAUSE I SAID I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO LASSIE

🔁 milkbonemilf Follow

pawnon’s right find the nearest street now

🔁 wolftastic Follow

I’M GAY

6 notes

💁🏽‍♀️ emilythehuman Follow

hi dogblr! i’m hoping you all can give me some advice. my shih tzu recently had to go on a temporary wet food diet to recover from a surgery, and now she’s refusing to eat any dry food. what can I do to convince her to start eating dry food again? i can’t feed her wet food forever, and i was wondering if you can tell me any tips that make dry food more enticing! thank you!

🔁 bassetdyke Follow

wet food forever

🔁 huskyrights Follow

wet food forever

🔁 tpunk-pup Follow

wet food forever

🔁 buddysblog Follow

wet food forever

🔁 postsfrommycrate Follow

wet food forever

i gotta admit i feel a little bad for the staff here because they have the interesting job of making a website work and make money while also marketing it to a userbase who are mostly looking for a website that sucks and doesnt work and does not make money

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

my gf just ripped some ungodly ass that had my eyes watering i mean absolutely noxious it was so bad i made her leave the bedroom until she was done and i opened the window and shoved my head out so i didn’t throw up breathing in the tainted air of our once peaceful bedroom.

anyways once it dissipated and i got back into bed she walked back in and looked me in the eyes and said “sorry for farty rocking 🥺”

this is what she looked like

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.

BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low

BUT NEVER ZERO.

I took a minute to quickly check which sample would have the most activity, assuming 100g, low-enriched (5%) samples, and negligible activity from the other sample constituents. Radium is top by a factor of 10,000, which seems about right considering my personal experience with it.

“considering my personal experience with it” What the fuck does this imply

It implies I have personal experience with handling radium samples, which I have. That saucy little thot can make the geiger counter crackle through a lead plate more than americium can through air

REALLY living up to your url king

@flammableengineering

I did the math on the dose rates, assuming 1 cm distance and using @evilscientist3 ‘s calculated activity. To the layperson, this is how much the radiation blends your DNA per hour, based on how many particles there are and how much energy they have and how far away you are.

U-235: 0.222 rem/hr

Pu-239: 7283.389 rem/hr

Ra-225: 415654.054 rem/hr

To contextualize these numbers, people who work with radiation are only allowed to receive 5 rem per year. The above numbers are per hour.

These chipmunks are fucking toast, but Alvin might get a chance to say goodbye to his family. At least, the ones that aren’t playing hot potato with radioactive sources.

The reason these numbers are so different for the same mass of material is that they have vastly different half-lives. Radium has the shortest, meaning it decays faster, releases the the most radioactive particles per amount of time, and becomes inert the fastest.

Additionally, U-235 and Pu-239 are alpha emitters. Alpha particles are heavy and easily blocked, but also deposit their energy over the shortest distance. Your epidermis will block alpha radiation, so in reality the uranium and plutonium doses from alpha particles will be lower (unless you eat them).

I also didn’t account for decay products. When radioactive atoms decay, they form different isotopes called decay products, which themselves can be radioactive or stable. Calculating the entire decay chain of all of these would have taken me about four sheets of paper, so I didn’t bother. It doesn’t make the chipmunks less dead.

The multiplication in the last post is wrong; the plutonium should be 239 (and should only have 3 significant figures).

In Bed, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, 1893

get that intellectual shit outta here this is DONALD AND DOG (2019)

Donald and Dog, me, 2019

the fast fourier transform

is that the one with vin diesel

Jacob Janerka,  Hello, this is crab…

now i’m falling asleep and she’s calling a crab

a californian but there’s something just a bit wrong and spooky about her. call that an uncanny valley girl

A very weird question—what pop culture characters could *technically* kill Macbeth?

Requirements:

-cannot be a boring answer of “a woman” or “MacDuff” or “Inanimate objects”

-cannot be an non-anthropomorphic animal

-the funnier the better

“A ‘man’ not of woman born” is what the basic criteria are, btw

EX: Doofenshmirtz, Artemis Fowl (post book 8)

Help me out in what will probably be one of the stupidest projects of all time.

So, the keywords in the prophecy are "man," "woman," "born," and "harm." Miss any one of these and you can kill macbeth. Let's go through them in order.

Man

Obviously, anyone who isn't a man can kill macbeth; this includes women which is territory that's been explored pretty throughly, but also nonbinary people who also aren't men (nonbinary men are a demographic that exists). Genderfluid characters might flux between being able to kill him and not kill him depending on whether or not they are currently a man.

Further out from this, animals which aren't human (or are otherwise excluded from the category of manhood) can kill macbeth. That was obviously scratched by the constrants of the prompt, but I'll put a pin in that.

Lastly, there's a group we've yet to consider; see the man-woman binary described by western hegemony isn't actually best described as a binary, but a quaternary between the binary genders and the binary maturities: this is man and woman yes, but there is also child and adult; which together make man, woman, boy, and girl. I'd argue that anyone juvinille enough to be considered a boy but not a man could kill macbeth.

From these categories, we find the following characters can kill macbeth:

Woman

I mean, there's only one way around this and it's that the person who birthed you wasn't a woman at the time you were born. If your birthing parent was: a trans man, a gender fluid person who during the birth wasn't a woman, a man, as (previously established non-human or otherwise excluded from womanhood), or (as previously established) a boy or girl, congratulations on your ability to kill macbeth.

I'd also happily argue for the sake of prophecy that if the birthing mother died during labor before you were out then you weren't born from a woman but a corpse.

From these categories:

Born

The classic interpretation of the prophecy uses this particular loophole, that if you ain't come out of the birthing canal kicking and screaming, you weren't "born." Then, C-sections babies can kill Macbeth.

So too can anything which hatched, spawned, or was created or built.

You could also argue that several forms of Isekai reincarnation don't function as births but as possession.

From these categories:

Harm

This one is interesting because there's a little hiccup here that I don't think you're expecting. Harm according to some definitions requires intentionality. A sword doesn't harm you: the person weilding it does.

There are some characters that you wouldn't expect would be able to hurt Macbeth; but, if we consider intentionality a necessary part of harm, there are some characters who are excluded but can be used by others to kill Macbeth, and it's an approach you don't see considered.

From this category:

Linguini piloted by Remy (Ratatouille)

This feels like it's missing territory that's clearly encompassed in the analysis/breakdown.

For example, the "the power of man" could also refer to "the power of humanity", which would include

Anthropomorphic animals:

Any ninja turtle

Bugs bunny

Scrappy doo

Smokey the bear

Aliens:

Superman

JEDD Mason

E.T.

Alf

Toad (from Mario)

For "woman", the children of trans men are in great shape.

For born, the examples are limited even though the analysis should encompass:

Athena

Steven Universe

Adam and Eve

Any child delivered by stork

Additionally, characters that are an aspect of a separate character should count, such as

The Hulk

Mister Hyde

General Miles Naismith (vorkosigan saga)

Tyler Durden (fight club)

Stevonnie (Steven Universe)

Skullgreymon (digimon)

Finally for "harm," there's room for anyone performing euthanasia (doctors, nihilists) as they wouldn't consider killing Macbeth harm.

If we assume harm requires intent, he could be killed indirectly by disaster magnets:

Vash the Stampede (Trigun)

Road runner (Looney tunes)

Yor Forger via bad cooking (Spy X Family)

Osaka (azumanga daioh)

Philip J Fry (Futurama)

Since OP has (had?) a project, I'm hoping longer example lists are more useful!

they should add polyamory to the game of life

What do you call this?

enraptured by the concept of a polycule systematically adding and removing members in order to "migrate" from one end of the country to the other, all without actually moving. the relationship of theseus