Lowkey one of my favorite parts of Barbie is that Allan is revealed to be an expert at hand-to-hand combat who is entirely willing to get genuinely violent, and then it is simply never discussed again.
The one man portrayed as physically stronger than everyone else is the one who doesn't demean women, and sticks by their side and helps fight for their causes <3
Happiness Will Come To You.
when tho
When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March
reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!
I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.
honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March
ok!
Lactose intolerant person working at cold stones like a eunuch guarding a harem
WAIT A MINUTE
Wake up babe, new theology just dropped.
normalize lying to matt lauer about seeing a clown explode to death in his little clown car
Jefferson figuring out that his son is Spider-Man but instead of telling him “hey you blew your secret” and possibly freaking him out, starts quietly training him in correct police procedure (without him knowing) while also repeatedly talking about how he had issues with the old Spider-Man but the new one seems like a brave and responsible young man and how he would be totally proud of him if he were this guy’s parents
Jefferson: you’ve got everything you need for the week? Books? Computer? Spray paint? Web fluid? Shoes?
Miles: wait what was that middle thing
Jefferson: spray paint! I support my son’s artistic endeavors
AISBSKSHISGSIWHEJFSHSJHDHSUEHSKSHWKA
Rio: okay but is he seeing that ballerina spider-girl or not? He seems very fond of her
Jefferson: well he’s very insistent that she’s Spider-Woman but honestly he always seems to want to act professional when he’s in the mask so I can’t tell
Rio: you could ask him
Jefferson: honey we need to let him have his privacy he doesn’t want us to know
LATER
Rio: I wonder if the new Spider-Man has a girlfriend he seems like he’d be very nice
Miles, sweating: mom are you trying to set me up with Spider-Man
I’m sorry, but Miles Morales pretending to date Spider-man to keep his secret identity while his parents 100% know that he’s Spider-man is PEAK humor
they invite him to dinner just to see what miles comes up with
Spider ham is the only one available it’s a whole thing
I have read a LOT of these but this one is by far the funniest
How we know that the US is experiencing another major wave of Covid-19: online reviews complaining that popular Yankee Candles have no scent are up again
2021 lasted 5 seconds and those 5 seconds lasted 20 years that felt like only a few months i hope that clears things up
Except for Boat Stuck, that was six days of beautiful clarity in march
Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man yelling at Dr. Strange saying “You were in the Grand Canyon?! Why didn’t you help him?!” had so much Older Sibling energy. Like he saw this magical adult wizard who was clearly capable of helping Peter (you know, who is a child) and Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man was ready to fight Dr. Strange himself when he thought that this adult just left this kid to fend for himself to fuck off to the Grand Canyon for fun
your late twenties is like one of your friends is getting promoted, one of your friends is binge-watching an early 2000′s tv show, one of your friends is moving away, one of your friends is moving home, one just graduated, one just dropped out, one spends all day in bed, at least three of them are getting into crystals and alternative medicine, one of them is changing careers, one of them still “doesn’t know what they want to do with their life” and talks about starting a podcast, one of them is on sabbatical, and everyone’s tummy hurts but they’re being so brave about it
this tik tok has me in fucking tears
the older i get the more unnecessary it seems to tell people my business
Nothing is funnier to me than Mr Darcy telling his best friend not to propose to the girl he loves bc 1. Her family are unsuitable and 2. She doesn't truly like him enough to marry... only to then himself propose to a woman who is 1. From the exact same family and 2. Has done nothing but roast him since they met
me completely by myself in my room: alright everybody just calm down
Coming out of retirement to share what my school put up today
I love abortion. And vaccines. Autism too.
Literally such a funny concept
This is better than all Black mirrors combined.
Happy martin birthday
I’m both
relationships with ur parents are so weird, arent they? like... i hate you for what you did, i love you because you bring me soup when im sick. i want to get away from you. i feel safe with you. i want to run away from you. i want your hugs. i wish you understood me. i wish i understood you.
