Snark, snark, sarcastic remark

so since it looks like y’all missed me and my content I am going to post a few of my controversial (mostly) non-political opinions here to shake out anyone who doesn’t know what they’re getting into (if you want the political ones just go look at the American Solidarity Party and then do whatever you want with that information, I Do Not Care)

- candy corn is good but ONLY Brach’s Autumn Mix. - peeps are best at least one month stale if not two or three and indeed if they are eaten such they are a fine delicacy - the IRS are not the bad guys and should be funded to expand so they can audit the bigger fish who are hiding from taxes - snow at Easter is fine, actually - in addition to cloaks, we should bring hats back into fashion - religion is usually a net good for society and if it is lost it gets replaced with some other less healthy zeal

I now have new followers from my trad post and in addition to these opinions I want you to know:

I am less trad than that post makes me seem.

okay NOW I have way more new followers because I posted about the Jif recall and guys

guys

you know I’m Catholic, right? I’m just pretty quiet about it because the tumblr discourse is a hot mess? But like, I’m a real life Catholic. Uncensored. Faithful to the Magisterium. Etc etc.

Well I guess I have a pile of new followers once more and it's time to update my pinned post with the fact that WILL get me hate

I'm very pro-life :) it's another thing about which I am quiet because I don't think online discourse wins hearts or changes policy, but it's a fact about me! Feel free to unfollow or block with this information in hand!

I just discovered foodtimeline.org, which is exactly what it sounds like: centuries worth of information about FOOD.  If you are writing something historical and you want a starting point for figuring out what people should be eating, this might be a good place?

CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY

this is awesome but the original link just turned into a redirect loop for me, here it is again (x)

OH HELLO

No more potatoes in medieval novels!

Women want one thing and it's quite obvious, A large affordable interconnected North American Rail Network

can't get a provenance on the meme but it needed to be shared

if anyone knows whence it originated please lmk so i can edit this post with a source

UPDATE: this appears to be the origin (a May 3 post from user <@BenSmithDC> on the website formerly known as Twitter)

ITS GREAT LAKES AWARENESS DAY!!!!!

On this excellent day, be aware that this is the largest group of freshwater lakes in the world, covering over 95,000 square miles and reaching depths of over a thousand feet. They are beautiful freshwater seas.

Also when you die in these lakes, the very cold, oxygen-poor conditions at the bottom preserves you perfectly for all eternity. You will not rot and nothing will eat you. You will exist for as long as the Great Lakes do. Many shipwrecks still have the crew on board. Be Aware.

that last paragraph only applies to Lake Superior, the northernmost Great Lake! to be fair though, Superior is bigger than all of the other Great Lakes combined.

and that's not to say that the other Great Lakes aren't equally dangerous! each of these things earned the 'Great' descriptor for a reason, and the only reason they aren't all classified as inland seas is because they're not salty.

Lake Michigan in particular is really good at creating waterlogged corpses and hiding them in weird places, and every single Great Lake is full of shipwrecks and ghost stories.

and you know what? 10/10 I would let these things eat me anyways.

be aware!

fun optional addition, LAKE SUPERIOR VS THE EAST COAST

you could drown an entire small country in this thing

A young woman is walking outside ████████. It just so happens that today, the 3rd of March 2006, is this young woman's birthday. Though it was seventeen years ago she was given life, it is only today she will be given a name!

What will the name of this gothic young woman be?

> Enter Name.

Your name is EBONY. As previously mentioned, you are a GOTH. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for ROCK MUSIC but you are NOT RELATED TO GERARD WAY. You are a vampire but your teeth are STRAIGHT AND WHITE. You have a fondness for HOT TOPIC and you DRESS ACCORDINGLY. You go to a wizard school in England because you are also a WITCH.

Your chumhandle is DarknessDementia and you tned to get yuor leters mixd up abit.

A lot of preps are staring at you. What will you do?

> EBONY: PUT MIDDLE FINGER UP.

You know, there is probably a reason the Jedi typically took toddlers rather than infants.

Mostly that I'm picturing a nursery full of Force sensitive babies that have learned to roll one direction but not the other broadcasting "YODA! YODA! I'M ON MY TUMMY! HELP!" through the entire Temple.

I'm also picturing Yoda closing his eyes in the middle of a Jedi Council meeting that is annoying him and then explaining "Sleeping I am not. Rolling the younglings back I was. More productive it is."

knitting tutorial made by a twenty-something knitting influencer: 18 min long, 12 of those minutes being the intro and a sponsor plug, they show the first few steps of the tutorial at the slowest speed known to man, they show the most important steps at a neck-break speed, they stop every five seconds to talk about what they just did, 40,000 comments filled with questions ranging from insightful to “how do i knit”, filmed with a camera that costs more than a car, the tutorial is incorrect.

knitting tutorial made by a seventy-something grandmother: two min long, filmed 17 years ago, shows you what you want with the skilled patient hands of a beloved deity, made with the world’s shittiest camera, the best video on the fucking internet, four comments and 30 views, you lose the video and never find it again.

two things i’m noticing in the notes:

1. every artist/crafter/cook agreeing that influencers in their communities also pull shit like this

2. ppl shouting out their fav old lady tutorials and being like “i would die for u diane”

everyone in the notes was being super lovely and dropping their fav tutorials/crafters, so i made a list of some of them (sorry if i missed any!):

Joanne’s web (knitting and crochet)

Knitting with Suzanne Bryan (knitting)

EliZZa (German knitting community)

Jane Loures (cooking)

Happy Berry Crochet (crochet)

Sue Ripsch (chainmaille jewelry)

SeaLemonDIY (book binding)

FourKeysBookArts (book binding)

sheilasknittingtipsandtricks

VeryPinkKnits (several recs for this!)

Mick Grewcock (bow making)

Mrs Nadelspiel (knitting)

Winwick Mums Knit n Natter (knitting Facebook group)

Cutsey Crafts (embroidery)

Twinsday (sewing)

Creative Grandma (crochet)

Das Bookbinding (bookbinding)

Yoyomax12 (baking)

Sharon B (doll repainting)

Nimbleneedles (knitting)

Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Chasing Sunraee (crochet)

Heindselman’s Knit & Gifts (America’s oldest knitshop)

Ivor Sorefingers (guitar)

Elly Everyday (overnight sourdough recipe)

K3n Slowstitch (stitching)

Miss Nancy/Nancy Zieman (PBS knitting episodes for free on youtube)

Roxanne Richardson (knitting)

Imamu Room Husbento (bento box making)

Nerdforge (bookbinding)

Jess Huff (amigurumi)

Nerdy Knitting (knitting)

Gayle Francis (crochet)

Bag-o-day Crochet (crochet)

Sewing with Nancy (sewing)

Felts by Philippa (felting)

Sowoolly (knitting)

Nadelspiel (knitting)

Lacefromireland (lace)

Bill Souza (yarn crafts for left handed folks)

and my personal fav that I just had to look up:

Glendalf, who made a tutorial for fixing a prius battery.

@basaltbutch

Don't mind if I save a couple of these

movie howl vs book howl (i like both of them)

They will destroy nature and call it saving the planet.

Joshua Trees are a weird thing that stayed since the last Ice Age. They're on the decline anyways because no mega mammals eat their seeds and pop them out else where anymore. Hasen't been one around in over ten thousand years but still they persist. Sometimes they thrive in small areas and other times they die out.

Then California decides fuck the Joshua Trees and destroys four thousand of them.

Fuck California. Joshua Trees provide shelter to hundreds of different species.

Cunts.

Is there any kind of activism going on to stop this

Yes, a little bit! But it's focusing on the Desert Tortoise, which (based on some of the notes) I think is dependent upon the Joshua trees. At least, I think this is the same project.

@coruscanttojerusalem this. this is it.

Lord help me. I've been given three manageable tasks. all at once

i understand toddlers cuz if i was just born a couple years ago and someone tried to get me to understand and say words while i'm growing insane amounts of teeth very quickly and painfully i'd be having a temper tantrum on the floor of a department store too

at the point in my life where whenever a kid cries in public i'm like man i get it. carry on

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

@mademoisellesarcasme

appreciate the crispy fluffiness of my handmade gluten free rough puff pastry 😤

OP, this looks both beautiful and delicious, and may I especially compliment you on your decorative chickens 🐓! An excellent choice!

Thank you so much! I was INSUFFERABLY smug about it all

You know when you scroll past a photograph and you register that it's actually a painting or tapestry or something and you have to scroll back up again to appreciate it properly?

That's me except

GLUTEN FREE???

Thank you so much! Perceive the lamination!

I can’t take too much credit really, it’s from Katarina Cermelj’s gluten free cookbook and she’s very clever. She has a different variation of the recipe for free on her blog but I haven’t tried it: https://theloopywhisk.com/2022/10/22/gluten-free-puff-pastry/

Pictured here are two things I’ve made from her blog - the cheese stuffed GF garlic rolls and the GF cinnamon rolls. They all came out exceedingly well, and made me seem like an extremely accomplished baker

Actually it might be kind of a public service to post about this baker! She has very good gluten free baking recipes!

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. CRAB 🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

@mademoisellesarcasme