will you just let me be silly for a sec. there's this dread so ancient in me

the whole point of life is just knowing a bunch of weird stuff and being kinda flirty

The type of dog I want honestly

“Before the writers started working on the first season, I wrote a list of six things on the wall that every episode had to do.” - Mike Schur (x)

Do you have cashier experience?

Me:

i was very excited during class when i suddenly realized this comic translates beautifully into chinese

the explanation here being:

allo? - hello? a l'eau - water?

谁呀？- shei ya? who is it? 水呀？- shui ya? water?

It’s even funnier if you know that in french that type of showerhead is called a “Telephone shower”. ^_^

After I reblogged this I realised that it works in te reo Māori too.

Ko wai tēnei = Who is this but also This is water

Please add to this, I want it to turn out that this works for every language on earth except English.

cuddling

Important addition:

FOOLS. YOU’RE ALL FOOLS.

Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

this is immensely funny to me

not enough fucked up little freak animals in the barbie movie. not enough busted ass capital-c Creatures. barbie god's™ mistakes.

where were they. greta where were they.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness

any other diagnoses you'd like to share?

Autism

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you