you know you're in a dark place when you can't even enjoy music anymore
AND YOU KEEP SKIPPING SONGS YOU USED TO LOVE NOW
I genuinely want to kill myself. As a matter of fact, I’m developing a new plan. I will go out with a bang
friendly reminder for the new twitter refugees:
- change your icon/pfp and put something coherent in your blog description or you're going to get blocked bcs people think you're a bot
- this site is built around reblogs, so please actually reblog posts(especially art and fics!!)
- you can set your likes and follows to private
- checkmarks here are a meme and mean nothing
- follower counts are private and we like it that way, so get used to not judging people by that metric
- drama and discourse is boring, use your blacklist and block button liberally
- DON'T CENSOR YOURSELF!! we can swear and say kill and make fun of corporations all we want, and if you tiktok-ify your tags people who have things blacklisted for whatever reason will still see them, and people who want to see that content won't be able to find it!! spell words out normally, you won't get in trouble!!
- tumblr live is sketchy as hell and full of fake accounts, if you decide to use it anyway may god have mercy on your soul o7
- be nice to the reddit refugees, they're our friends <3
Wake up
If I never draw another crystal again I will be ok with that.
crocodileheart
“The day i kill myself is going to be the happiest day of my life”
— someonelikeme4
One of the worst parts of self harm and suicidal ideation is when you’re sitting next to someone you love so much and all you can think about is how badly you want things to end.
I think I’m getting better and then everything gets bad again.
On this day one year ago, I was fired from Crumbl Cookies because my grandfather suddenly died and I cried when I found out and was on the clock. They make you sign a waiver to not talk about the recipes that lasts one year after your termination. Well guess what babes. That day, is today. RIP Nanu, you’ve been missed. But for anyone who likes the Chocolate Chip Cookies or the Iced Sugar Cookies, check out the recipes in the links. Feel free to ask about other recipes, it’s been a year but some things are just reskinned versions of these lol. Good Luck and Happy Baking.
Darkness you are gentler than my lover.
- Walt Whitman
Ok so I’m watching a MKX tournament on YouTube. Erron Black vs. Kitana. The commentators are talking about Erron Black’s lore and one was wondering if he was a cowboy before he became a bounty hunter bc he is also from Texas. I would like to imagine a headcanon in which Erron Black is good with livestock and actually super gentle with animals
I just wanna say I don’t like BLACKPINK’s new song. Are the Blinks going to attack me for this? Probabaly. Do I care? Not in the slightest❤️
So I got the job at the hospital…hopefully I won’t struggle as much since I’ll have two jobs
And if the senior predeceases the pet, it’s cared for. Good on yer!
lovepaul7186-deactivated2022092
A win for the pet and seniors!
This is WONDERFUL & it would be fanstastic if rescue groups across the world would follow the lead of PAWS. The group is located in the state of Washington: https://www.paws.org/adopt/seniors-for-seniors/#hours.
!!!!!!!!!!
What’s the point of me being alive? All I do is suffer and get told I’m not good enough and that I’m not working hard enough. Why did I have to be alive in this time period? I have parents who act like they can’t do shit for me and I have to do everything myself and then they fucking complain when I don’t do the things I need to do. I don’t have any fucking money!! I make $10 an hour just so I can’t make my car payments. I have a job interview this Thursday for the hospital and I’m feeling confident in getting the job, but I still feel like it won’t be enough. Nothing I do is enough. I get to sit back and watch people draw checks for sitting on their ass. I watch people my age have their own apartment, cars, and great paying jobs. I’m watching my old school peers graduate college and wtf am I doing? I’m just a fucking failure and there’s no reason for me to be on this earth. What do I possibly gain from being here?? I’m battling mental illness caused by abuse from family and they get to go on about their lives as if they’ve done nothing wrong and I get to be reminded of how shit I am. WHY TF AM I HERE?? And then when I try to speak up about my feelings everyone just tells me to get over it and that it’s my fault for feeling like this. I’m so fucking tired. I’m fucking done
My S/O always reminds me about how I struggle to pay bills and I don’t have the most consistent work ethic and brings up how much money he gives me to help me pay said bills. He always says it’s never about the money and that he doesn’t mind helping me, but throws my struggles in my face. Once, I told him I was trying my best and he said, “No you’re not. I really don’t believe that.” I am currently experiencing homelessness and moving from one person’s house to the next. I go to work, but it’s hard to find a good paying job that I can be consistent in. Everything starts off good but then I just lose motivation. I work at a gas station rn but I’m only making $10/hr. I always feel like he criticizes me, but whenever I say that my S/O always defends himself and says that I’m being too sensitive and that I need to get out of my feelings. I find it hard to talk to him sometimes.
Let’s list some hurtful things he’s said to me in the past 8 months:
“If you listened to me, you wouldn’t be in the situation you’re in.”
“When you get tired of it, you’ll do something about it.”
“It’s taken you months. It shouldn’t take that long.”
“I don’t wanna talk about your problems unless you’re gonna find a solution and get out of it.”
“You’re struggling to pay your car off, but you wanna sit on the phone and talk about unproductive shit.”
“I give you advice to try to help you, but you don’t listen and that’s why you’re in the situation that you’re in.”
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. It’s just your environment.”
So when we had a long conversation about how I feel like he criticizes me and it hurts my feelings, he apologized. But he also makes it seem like I just can’t handle the truth. I’m not really sure what to do about this situation. I love him, but he really affects my mental health and idk how to explain it to him. I try my hardest to give reasons as to why I act the way I do, but he gets defensive and I shut down. I wonder if my condition is even all that severe to begin with…Like what if I went to a counselor who has no idea what they’re talking about and I’m just faking a mental illness? He really encouraged me to go to therapy and now that I’ve been diagnosed, it seems like none of it matters and I’m just crazy.
I had a dream last night that my S/O’s father died and I called him a few times to ask about his father. He was a little upset that I called multiple times bc I do this a lot. I honestly think I just get paranoid when he doesn’t answer the phone. Anyway, his dad is alive, but he no longer communicates with him for personal reasons, so he wasn’t that concerned about my dream. I’ve been feeling like ever since I told my S/O about my BD diagnosis, he makes it worse. Like he triggers me to the point where I’m so angry and then after I calm down, I always call him crying and apologizing for how I acted.