dear God take care of her when i can’t

Me when I pet a stray cat and it then runs away

y’all got any frickin lamps

the ol’ razzle dazzle

every time i have an inner transformation i pick up duolingo again

Millennial self change is marked by duolingo and meal prepping

i can’t believe there are people that are still in high school like… it’s literally 2018 how have you not grown up yet damn

Are you perhaps some sort of idiot?

Just thought everyone should know that Paris Hilton dressed as a sexy Furby for a Halloween party in the year 2018

girls will call you just to be quiet on the phone

comfortable silence is a love language

via weheartit

when michael cera in juno says “ i know you weren’t bored that day. the blair witch project was on starz” the oscar was on lock 

My favourite toy is my: beenneebabe I like it because: it is sofd

One question

Who will stop him

nobody 

let the boy dance

when my dad moved away from home he needed a place to live, so he went to look at this one potential apartment. the only questions the landlady asked him were where he was born and when. when my dad told him, the landlady pulled out this huuuge astrology chart book. she looked at it for a long time in silence and finally said, “acceptable”

this is funny and awful at the same time

*talks about u behind ur back but in a supportive way about how cool u are and how much i love u*

— Lisa St Aubin de Terán (via bl-ossomed)

Casual reminder that to this day, literally NOBODY has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.

Sometimes I forget how young I am, I have time. There’s enough time.

its kind of sad when you hit up and old friend and you both really miss each other but the connection just isnt there anymore

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it