“it’s so funny how you remember that” i remember Everything. unless i forget

pros of growing up christian:

cons of growing up christian:

—i like the article.

what is your holy trinity of fruits

if i was a cat would u pspsps me

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

vampire hunter? no i said vampire HAUNTER. this jerk sucked all my blood out so now i spend my afterlife knocking over shelves and scaring off potential victims and just making the castle generally pretty cold

it's always 'bleh why are the plates floating', 'gah who knocked over my blood goblet' and never 'sorry for killing you' ok starve then!

and what are you going to do about it? have a priest exorcise the place? yeah good luck with all the crosses and holy water you piece of shit

It’s a lovely morning in the gothic castle, and you are a horrible ghost.

Me entering any museum: man I’m so excited to learn all the things

Also me: GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP GIFT SHOP

There are two dragons inside of you. One hoards knowledge and the other hoards trinkets. They’re both very excited when you bring them to a museum

take my quiz: which house lives inside of you?

inside each of us is a private place nestled and yearning to call itself a home. find out what form yours takes.

Fallout 4 + RADSTORMS

The show is so realistic cause look how much ammo they wasted on two clickers, they’re just like us.

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

Also drink water and eat a plant

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

I'm helping organize this fundraiser for a good friend who's in a major bind. Her van, which was modified to be wheelchair accessible, has failed. It costs upwards of $75,000 to replace, upfront.

Right now, she has no transportation. Please donate and share this post to help spread the word. Thank you!

NEW WHEELS FOR HANNAH

Back in August 2022, Hannah’s van shut off by itself in the middle of a busy street. The computer system that allows her to drive the van with hand controls had failed. She was stranded.

Hannah has Muscular Dystrophy, and uses a power wheelchair full-time, meaning that she needs a wheelchair-accessible vehicle to commute or travel anywhere. For the past 12 years, Pequod, her fully modified van, has allowed her to get anywhere she needed to go. Hannah drove it through college and grad school, to and from her teaching position at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville, and across state lines to her new house in a small town outside Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where she lives with her husband, Jared, and a ridiculous shepherd-corgi mix named Pumpkin.

Despite the van's most valiant efforts, these vehicles are only designed to work for 10 years, and while Hannah and Jared were grateful to see it last an additional two years, they now find themselves without reliable transportation. They do not live in a city with public transit, so without an accessible van, Hannah is essentially homebound.

As her friends, we have decided to help her ask for help, because a new van with the modifications she and her chair require (a lowered floor, a ramp installation, and EZ-lock restraint system) costs upwards of $75,000. The vast majority of that will have to be paid upfront. For a variety of reasons, Hannah and Jared have decided not to get a van with the computer system and hand controls this time, which would have added another $35,000 to the total cost. This will not be one she can drive, but they have weighed the pros and cons and decided they can make it work.

The service that helped Hannah get Pequod 12 years ago said they’d only ever finance one vehicle. Another won’t help because she is married and her husband is able to go out for groceries and necessities. Medi-transit services can take her to the hospital and nothing else is considered a necessity.

Hannah has dedicated a huge part of her life to disability advocacy. Her heart is enormous and through knowing her we have all come to see how much of her desire to help others informs her everyday life. Much of our time together is spent discussing ways to open eyes to a new way of seeing the world, the realities of living with a disability, and how the system has failed others less fortunate than herself.

When we heard about the dire straits Hannah was in with her van, we knew we had to do something. Unfortunately, we cannot do this alone. Your donations would change Hannah’s life, and would also allow the people who care about her to stop worrying so much.