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This is so Tumblr, the app is trying to attack my phone

Btw sorry if I'm spamming a bit

I'm planning on having 10 posts from my queue every day

cylinder post for tumblr

……… different fantasy races should be impacted differently by each other’s alcohol

no more if this “fine elvin wine” shit, I am going to personally write a fantasy setting in which every human knows that elf booze tastes and feels like fantasy la croix. there’s barely even a flavor, and you’d need to drink a few to even get tipsy.

meanwhile, every human with a lick of common sense knows that you need to plan accordingly if you’re going to be drinking dwarven liquor, because it hits you hard and fast and you’ll lose feeling in your legs faster than you thought was physically possible. the hangovers are the stuff of legend.

the flip side is that elves are an entire race of (comparative) lightweights, and a whole gaggle of teenange elves can get piss drunk passing around one bottle of fruity human wine

I think there’s some compatability among drinks brewed by reptilian races (dragonborn, lizardfolk, tortles, kobolds, etc) although you run into similar translation issues as mammalians, but there is absolutely no crossover. like if a drsgonborn and a dwarf in a (very cosmopolitan) tavern were to switch drinks it would be a nonstarter.

“this is basically just a capri sun,” the dragonborn says, disappointed.

“cool, I’m pretty sure I just drank actual paint thinner,” the dwarf says. “get me to a hospital.”

humans and halflings are probably the most compatible drinkers of any two races, although halflings find most human wines, beers, ciders, etc, a little too dry and bland for their liking. halfling alternatives are very sweet, which makes them a huge hit among the ‘I like alcohol but I don’t want it to taste like alcohol’ crowd

I think it would be very funny if being drunk was like… a relatively new cultural development for gnomes? there’s just something about their wacky gnomish constitution that prevented them coming by it naturally (traditionally they’re more into a variety of mushrooms and other recreational plants) but once they started mingling more with more alcohol-happy races they learned VERY quickly and started opening, basically, turbo-breweries that are basically one part distillery and one part wizard tower. VERY popular job for young alchemists trying to make some good money, and the reason why gnomes are known (among other things) for operating the craziest night clubs

here’s who I think should be able to get drunk but become sober at will:

1.) sufficiently powerful paladins and clerics

2.) aasimar [all of them]

2.) very very few tieflings. it’s not universal at all, but few tiefling traits are. I know 5e has really solidified them as horns + tails + inhuman skin color but we need to be making them weirder 

really enjoying the wave of tags I’m getting as September 1st dawns across the world of when people scheduled this last year… love you all

Hades 2 continues the trend from the first game where the characters are extremely hot

ok i just wanna check something.... reblog if you've never watched/opened tumblr live

reblog if you’d open a cursed tomb before even considering opening tumblr live

Miku's given age and actual age have finally aligned. She now possesses the power she needs to manifest in our world. There is nowhere she can't be now. All hail Miku.

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY MGSV!!!!!!

mgsv (tpp) is 8 years old today!!!!

this game feels so much older than only 8 years, and rip chapter 3 🫡

this is a new low for sure

Dam I love this fandom

(The tiktok video had the song Curses in it)

We gotta find this guy and feminize him I've got 20 bucks on the line

Station Security: How do we know you didn't murder this human?

Murderbot: *does a full anime-glasses-push internal monologue about the importance of careful misdirection to ensure that Security doesn't see it as any more of a threat than they already do, in case it does actually need to murder a human later on*

Murderbot: lol if I'd done it you'd never have found the body

Gurathin, exhausted: You have an alibi, you could just give them your alibi,

her storytelling skills are killing me

i remember when this was the funniest shit on r/196

being a renchanting fan in 2023 is so funny because it’s like

you log on tumblr.com and say, “man, i really miss renchanting duo.”

“same,” martyn littlewood casually replies, barely looking up from the fifth dogwarts fanart that he’s reblogging this week

thinking,, thinking about c!martyn and his birthday

3rd life started 2 weeks after his birthday, last and double life weren't close, rats missed it, pirates has a good chance of missing it, and that's in the future anyway

only limited life included it

martyn… spends the rest of his time in a void, regardless of which route you take, datastream or eyesandears (as we don't know how they connect yet, they're mostly separate? kinda? idk its complicated)

so… what's better: having your birthday in the midst of a death game, in a world that isn't real but feels painfully so, or alone in a void?

[ID: “#posts you can tell op read homestuck without looking at their blog” /end ID]

i hate to break it to you but i’ve never laid eyes on homestuck. i watched 500 german expressionist films in high school and that’s why i am the way i am today. sorry for the confusion

Which post was tagged like that?

now i understand that homestuck does more or less cover the entire breadth of human experience, but i don’t understand what there could be in my bus station americaposting that makes it uniquely homestucklike

IT WAS THE SICKNASTY????