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A place to put my thoughts

@lyrablack-stuff

Artist, nerdy, introvert, 22 - west wales uk

Reid, greeting the team at BAU entrance doors: welcome to the behavior analysis unit. 

*Reid is barefoot walking on the sand covering the entire floor, holding a rake* 

Derek: what the fuc-

Reid: ah- ah. 

Reid: i turned the place into a zen garden and there is no room for animosity. 

Emily: … why

Reid: my therapist said i should try being in a more tranquil environment.

Everyone

Rossi: well, it’s official. the kid has finally cracked. 

*Penelope flips her heels off and walks inside toward the botanicals*

*JJ leaves to get a thermometer*

Derek, looking at Hotch: you’re not gonna do anything about this?? 

*Hotch shrugs* 

Aragorn: I sleep with a knife under my pillow
Boromir: Weak. I sleep with two under mine
Faramir: You are both pathetic
Aragorn: What killer weapon do you sleep with then, prince badass?
Faramir: Eowyn

LOTR shitposting #2

Merry: What time is it? Pippin: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Pippin: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Gandalf: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Pippin: It’s 2 am

y/n's chaos in middle earth

Y/n: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Aragorn: Y/n no. Legolas: Mistlefoe. Aragorn: Please stop encouraging them.
Studying Tips when you are easily distracted
  • Pomodoro Technique, I can't stress it enough how helpful it is. There are many apps, and some allow to change the amount of time for breaks and work. Maybe you can't do 25, then do 15. Others need more time to get "in the zone" and can do 40 minutes.
  • During breaks, walk away from your desk/workspace. Don't go to far, look through a window, take a glass of water, go to the bathroom, or if you can go outside for a few seconds to take deep breaths of fresh air. The important thing is to mentally detach yourself from that task to reset your mind.
  • Change subjects. Don't spend four hours on the same topic, it gets way too boring. Divide your time between a subject you like and one that is harsher for you and viceversa.
  • One hour a day does 100% more for your productivity than five hours of cramming the night before.
  • Your brain won't function properly if sleep deprived. It doesn't matter how much you studied all night, more often than not you will fail from exhaustion. And no, caffeine doesn't do the trick, it will just give you more anxiety. It's like a rollercoaster of crap. Trust me, been there done that, it sucks.
  • Make a list of all the things you need to do in order of importance and urgency. Instead of a boring check mark, draw flowers or whatever you like and once completed you can color them.
  • Your head won't remember everything you have to do, take a small notebook with you everywhere and write down (right in that moment or you will forget), tasks, chores, homework, assignments, essays, etc.
  • You don't have to make your notes as perfect as the one from pinterest or studyblr (in my opinion that takes way too much time to do and is not that productive), but adding color, sticky notes or small drawings can make it much more pleasant to look at.
  • Eliminate from your desk/workspace all distractions, or as much as you can. Some of the pomodoro apps I mentioned before, they ring when time is up, it's automatic. So, you can put away your cellphone to not be tempted to scroll through social media.
  • If you have spent quite a few hours studying, take a long break (not in your bed). You should move to stimulate blood circulation. You could listen your favorite music and dance while eating a snack. Or maybe water your plants, do your prayers if you're religious, anything that isn't related to study. Your mind will thank you.
  • Know when to stop, it's unhealthy if you overdo it. Melatonin, sleep hormone, usually starts production around 9 o'clock (my psychiatrist told me this) and between 10 and 12 is the moment when your body rest the best.
  • Also, Melatonin can be affected by blue light emitted from screens. If you can try to avoid them for at least two hours before going to sleep. So that you can regain a normal sleep schedule. This will also improve your mood and eventually your concentration.
  • There are apps (at least for Android, don't know for Apple) that can block the usage of other apps. It's very helpful and until now it has given me great results.
  • Make sure to take time to practice your hobbies, hangout with friends, spend time with your family or walk your pet. Your entire life can't be about studying and grades. If you don't enjoy the process of going to highschool/college, you will end up hating it. Even if it's just for 15 minutes. Allow yourself to not be productive. You are not a machine. It's okay to relax from time to time. Your mental health is more important. Even at the cost of success.
Interviewer: so how do you feel like speaking right now?
INTP: I don't feel anything. I was told I will get 50 bucks for this.
Interviewer: haha really? You gave this interview just for the money?
INTP: of course, I would not talk to you if I wasn't paid for it.
Interviewer:....lets go to the first question. When do you wake up in the morning?
INTP: if I have to go to work 8 am and if I don't then 12 pm
Interviewer: and when do you sleep?
INTP: it depends on my caffeine level and current hobbies. A lot of all nighters if watching a new T.V show.
Interviewer: what's your favourite food?
INTP: anything that can be cooked with minimal cooking skills and effort
Interviewer: favourite season?
INTP: winter or autumn
Interviewer: favourite movie?
INTP: I can't choose one
Interviewer: favourite book?
INTP: don't go there.
Interviewer: what is your biggest dream in life?
INTP: I want to do something for the humanity.
Interviewer: that's nice
INTP: the lack of humanity in today's world baffles me. I thought I was aloof. But if everyone is like the people around me, even I want to help them.
Interviewer: how would you help humanity?
INTP: by destroying the humanity before humans destory each other and let the animals and plants live in peace.
Interviewer:....oh big dreams! Last question, how was your childhood like?
INTP: I grew up being paraded as a gifted child with intellect and curiousity. I didn't have friends and avoided any social situation. As I grew I realised my talents aren't valued by others and my mind was too fast for them. I slowed down and accepted that I am a medicore genius and my parents had lied to me about my abilities. I recently dropped out of college and adopted nihilism to make myself feel better about my failures and disappointments.
Interviewer: that's bad...
INTP: it doesn't matter much to me. My mom always told me I will end up in a jail or asylum. So life's been okay.

I realized that INTPs are basically Finnish:

  • Super chill, until pissed off
  • On a new level of weirdness
  • Can pull off some crazy shit at the last moment
  • Aloof at first glance, goofy and wholesome when you get to know them
  • Obsessed with coffee
  • Almost nothing can faze them. (I mean, they do be screaming Perkele at bears). If something does, you should be scared, like really scared
  • Prefers nature and living in the middle of nowhere
  • Scared if strangers greet them

MBTI TYPES AS BOOK QUOTES

3. Edgar Allen Poe's poems

ENFJ: Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.
ENFP: I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.
INFJ: And so being young and dipped in folly I fell in love with melancholy.
INFP: All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
ENTJ: Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
ENTP: Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
INTJ: Leave my loneliness unbroken.
INTP: From childhood's hour I have not been as others were. I have not seen as others saw. I could not awaken my heart to joy at the same tone. And all I loved, I loved alone.
ESFJ: "That is another of your odd notions," said the Prefect, who had a fashion of calling everything "odd" that was beyond his comprehension, and thus lived amid an absolute legion of "oddities".
ESFP: You call it hope — that fire of fire! It is but agony of desire.
ISFJ: Convinced myself, I seek not to convince.
ISFP: I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.
ESTJ: I intend to put up with nothing that I can put down.
ESTP: To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths!
ISTJ: If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.
ISTP: Believe nothing you hear, and only one half that you see.

Adult stuff that Schools don't teach you, about work and dreaming

  1. Aim for the stars, NEVER give up on your dreams. You just need to learn how to make it a reality. Our time here is finite, the end result is the same for everyone. So, tell fear to go to hell and do whatever makes you feel like it's worthwhile been alive.
  2. Learn the most important skill ever: How to deal with difficult people. From minors inconveniences, to personality clashes, to narcissistic cunts with psychopathic tendencies who enjoys making everyone's life a living hell (mobbing). No school, college, university, trade school or whatever is gonna teach you this. IT WILL SAVE YOUR SANITY. Especially when you don't have the luxury of losing a job. So take advantage of some sweet internet and find resources about this. (Z Library is free and safe)
  3. Expand your skill set. Don't stick with only one thing, learn practical and technical stuff related to your line of work. For example: In film school everyone wants to be a director or a writer, which is great but it takes time, in the meantime learning about editing, sound, lighting, props, wardrobe, etc, can open many other doors. This will pay your bills while you're dreaming. So, take your time to analyze what skills are useful in your work and learn.
  4. Fuck the unpaid internship once graduated. It's slavery with pretty words. If you're still studying, you can (and should if you have time) participate in those unpaid projects, volunteer jobs, and all that; but never ever after getting your [title]. You are valuable, no matter what any company says, and you didn't spend countless hours of effort and sacrifice to not be paid. If you apply point number 3, you will gain experience while also getting money. No amount of experience is worthy. It's like influencers wanting to pay with exposure.
  5. Networking, 90% of the time it's not about your talent but who you know, no matter what kind of job you are doing. And I'm not necessarily talking about nepotism. Sometimes if you know a person they can say: "Oh yes, Clara is a friend and she's excellent at her job. You should consider her." Humans are social creatures, we value the opinions of those who we are friends with or respect. Don't be fake, just be nice and try to get to know your coworkers and people from your field. (There are also books about this if socializing isn't your forte)

(Feel free to reblog and add more stuff. We all know we need this 💀)

MBTI : lovers edition

INTJ: falling for them, like falling into the first page of a book you know is going to be your favourite. you'll be taken into a mind, a world, a story, a mind, a world you can't help but choose to dive into again and again, again (again like in mitski's pink in the night again like Taiga to Ryuji after they kiss). you fall like rain (and you know there'll be thunder and lightning if they fall too)

ENFP: fighting over who gets to lick the spoon clean of cake batter, a little naive but strong-hearted, nicknames and inside jokes, road-trips with best-friends, lazy laughter and a crooked smile, staying up late talking to someone and realizing it's already morning only when the hazy sunlight peeks through the blinds at dawn, you find yourself loving life.. but you wonder if thats simply because they're in it

INFJ: you didn't know you were waiting until you met them and now they're everything , they're the warmth of your skin under the golden sun-rays , cold feet curled under a cozy blanket, the fresh smell of spring rainfall , kisses on birthmarks, soul gazing into soul , languages spoken with a mere touch , long car rides with windows wound all the way down just to feel the wind in your hair and the joy of life , with them you're infinite ,to you they do what the spring does to the earth ... make you feel a l i v e , they're a breathe of life and your constellation that guides the way to heaven and back , its an intertwining love that grows like a rose vine over your stone walls and blooms into a eternal spring .., youve found the peace that many seek yet few find and you'll feel like the luckiest person alive.. treasure them

ENFJ: cooking up late brunch together , dancing to the music still in pyjamas , hersheys kisses left under pillows , they'll never hold anything back ..in love , life and even in fights- they'll never back down when it comes to you

ISFP: honey coated lips and a face gifted by the moon, kissing in the rain kissing to rid the pain, they remind you of sunsets, warm days at the beach , hand in hand with your lover, under blue skies and witnessing an even bluer ocean , candid photos of loved ones with an silver birch frame , tucking flowers behind their ear, their name engraved in your heart

INFP: soft calm evening lulling you into sleep , nuzzling into their side, surrendering to their warmth ..hands tangled into the sleeves of their sweater and breathing in their scent, with them the shields come down and the laughter comes unbounded , leaping out and taking flight like an eagle soaring in the sky freed from gravity and from the noise of the world that compares nothing to the one you have with them..and in moments with them you'll find happiness come to rest by your side

ISFJ: hummed melodies , touring around the streets of Paris and have crepes by the Seine, shy glances, sneaking into the kitchen at night and kissing the powdered sugar off their lips after a midnight snack of doughnuts , hearts carved in a tree - eyes on me

ISTP: their presence is all you need to shield you from the moments you'd rather forget, a hidden passion that burns fierce like forest fire and heart as warm as a hearth

ESTP: falling in love with them is falling in love with a storm a whirlwind of emotions mesmerizing yet chaotic you'll never let go , a love that consumes you , a tumult of emotions as gripping as it it chaotic , if grounded will climb up a tree and knock on ur window at 4am cause in their defence 'a whole day without you is a whole day too long'

INTP: will make you question all the universe with a most wonderful sense of doubt., a glow of warmth under a cold exterior ,you never need to pretend with them ..with them you can be whoever you want to be , they'll never feel like a stranger but perhaps one day they'll never feel like someone at all (they'll feel like everything)

ISTJ : museum dates and art gallery rendezvous, the cold expressions mask a hopeless romantic, sudden and intense bouts of Feelings at 2 a.m, likes to think they're tough but melts in your arm when you hold them

ISTP: They walk in and smile at you and suddenly you're ready for an adventure, a motorcycle ride at 1 am and you've never felt more alive. when their arms around you though.. you've never felt safer. There's a whole lot to them under their cool but sturdy exterior , a raging storm or perhaps a calming lake just like the ones where they first taught you how to skip stones.. strong arms around you their face right next to yours hearts racing and fluttering. Theres something inexpressible about them...perhaps thats what makes you turn to them every time.

ENTP: falling in love with them is falling in love with a storm and you'll find yourself falling faster than the torrential rain you're under , drowning yet floating , theres lightning within you and the thunder is the command of fate to never let go , love is one never-ending game, love isn't just love for them , its everything , it a adventure , a journey , a surprise , a game , the feeling of coming home , night vs day , all of it transpiring between the moments spent with you and thinking of you, type to say "do you trust me" with gleaming eyes and a mischievous grin as they hold out a hand so you can go with them to do something rebellious (you rlly shouldn't trust them but you always do anyway)

ENTJ: they dont yearn they want..and want gives way to desire..and to desire is to need, competitive but will let you win just to fondly watch you rub it in with glee (theres the most tender soft smile on their face but theyll never admit) , hard to fall in love with them but even harder to fall out , hickeys hidden under Dior scarves , whispered propositions on necks , hiding the smile playing upon your lips by sipping coffee gone cold , possessive arms wrapped around your waist

ESFP: makes you a playlist when they can't find the right words to convey their feelings, "so many things to do with you but so little time," wears their heart on their sleeves, falls fast and might get hurt in the crash but would do it all over again for you, they're unapologetically themselves and you love them for that, you just hope they love you as much as you love them

ESTJ: They've got your back, always. Sometimes you need it, sometimes it's even before you realise: they're the cup of coffee placed into your hand when you have to work a late night, they're the advice you didn't know you needed. More than anything, they're the place you can finally relax, because they'll hold everything together for you. They'll hold you up. If you're lucky, they'll let you hold them up too. Stronger, together.

ESFJ:theres something about them , maybe its the way they look at you with eyes full of childlike wonder and joy and trust , the way they make everyone else in the world dissapear so you know as long as you have them you have it all , maybe its magic maybe its fate or maybe just maybe its something called Love ..maybe thats the feeling you have right now , what it feels like to be in a sunflower's dream, lost in the waves with a pearl in your hand ...or what it feels like to finally finally have something to lose, something thats yours, its not a case of loving them so much youd die for them ..its a case of loving them so much youd l i v e for them

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how to generate creative ideas:
(i need to get this out of my brain)

  1. Make moodboards, playlists, keep a list of people who inspire you. Before starting a project think about the general vibe you want it to embody. Ask questions like “What would this concept sound like if it was a song?” ,“What would this concept be like if it was a person?”. Create a shirt that looks like a building you like (yes i did that once), literally anything can be combined.
  2. Take unrelated things or concepts and mix them together. Let’s take Addams Family as an example. “What if it was a story about a typical suburban family…but GOTH!”. It basically flips everything upside down. Or “What outfit would someone wear, who’s personality is the mix of the vibes of these two songs?” Random word generators are amazing for this if you don’t know where to start from.
  3. Try making something truly BAD and then add a twist to it. It’s a great way for your brain to let go of expectations and then think outside of the box. But you can also use this to find out what you do not wanna do under any circumstances.
  4. Think without worrying about the limits of what you can do and when it’s time for excecution, find a way around what’s impossible. It births more creativity and adds uniqueness.
  5. Consider what your idea is NOT before considering what it is. Limits are the best way to avoid getting overwhelmed and giving up. Don’t ALWAYS do this though (unless you wanna…), it’s just something to try out when you feel like you’re seeing too many possibilities to the point that they’re contracting each other. Unless your goal is to make something full of contradictions, you’re a Free Man, do whatever you want.
  6. Keep a list of random ideas you have throughout the day in your notes app or something and then at some point actually review them. Keep what you think is worth exploring and then act on it.
  7. Find out how something works very throughoutly so you know which aspect can be changed to create something new.
  8. Take a concept and break it down into smaller concepts, ideas, questions, key elements and then also break those ideas down etc. This will naturally lead to associations, unique ideas you wouldn’t think of without doing this. I found that this is a great way of coming up with metaphors.
  9. This one is similar to the last two: take a piece of art you really love and try to find out the thought process behind. What’s the story, where did the artist get inspiration from, how did they incorporate those ideas in their work. How did an artist combine their personal interests and knowledge into one big thing. For example: Tolkien was an erudite linguist, so much so that he created entire functional languages in his work, such as Elvish in Lord of the Rings. Hirohiko Araki loves 80’s music so much he named characters in Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure after music references. This is why no knowledge is useless knowledge.
  10. Think about the times you’ve been the most creative before. What were the specific circumstances? For me my best ideas always come when I have a strict deadline for something unrelated, like school (which I’m way too willing to sacrifice), or when I’m doing something mindless like walking and listening to music, or playing a game that requires no thinking. Most of the time after 10p.m. This doesn’t mean I can’t “force” myself to be creative (tips above), it just means these are the times ideas come most naturally. For some people this might be being out in nature or experiencing high emotions, maybe having their life on the line idk, to each their own.
  11. You can’t just create. You also need to consume. The more information you absorb, the more possibilities you have with your ideas. So if you’re not feeling that creative, that’s fine, it’s the perfect opportunity to learn something new.

If you don’t already do these things and you’re looking to get more creative my advice is to ACTUALLY TRY THESE OUT. You’ll best understand them in action.

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[text ID: I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.]