Lyme and Coconut

We don’t say this often enough (though I think most of us know it) but men who can’t write women are bad writers. It doesn’t matter how perfect their pacing is or how many awards they’ve been given by other men. If they have fundamentally misunderstood the nature of 51% of the world’s population, they are bad writers, and nothing they have to say about the human condition could possibly be valuable.

If a dude can do the research and tell you exactly what breed of goat his 12th century shepherd would have managed on the hills of whereverthefuck then he should be able to find out if breasts 'swell in excitement'

hearing about all these new apps and feeling very 'old man yells at cloud' today

Unpopular opinion but literally not one person in the world should have their human rights violated

i hate when youtube food reviewers take a bite out of a burger and hold it right up to the camera where they took a bite. like thanks, looks disgusting, what are you gonna show me next? A Man's Asshole?

hey that's the guy who had a legitimate full mental breakdown because people said aging and dying was natural and he insisted saying that was tantamount to supporting genocide and him and weren't meant to age or die. the fursona guy. that's him

It's all "keep tumblr weird" until a real weirdo shows up I see

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

woke up to my neighbor screaming “louder please, alexa!” and now ring of fire by johnny cash is positively Blasting through the morning air

SING, MY ANGEL OF MUSIC

the thing they dont tell you about working with little kids is it wrecks your vocabulary. you hear a kid phrase something bizarrely in a way only a 5 year old can and now any time you lose shit youre like "it dissed appear"

every time someone tells me to be careful, in my head i repeat what one of my kids said as a small child.

i AM be carefulling.

Telling a group of people to draw a troll face by memory is the funniest thing I swear to god the results are always so asdfghjkl

hate a pregnancy storyline. kill that baby

FOR THE RECORD. i am aware that i am cheesy, corny, embarassing, cringe, stupid, have bad taste, etc. it just means i get to skip to the front of the line at the gates of heaven

Honestly insane I haven't seen a single post about how a guy who made mod chips for Nintendo switches now has to pay 30% of his salary for the rest of his life to Nintendo after he was released from prison

Two articles on the topic. I have also seen on reddit that he was making around 45 thousand dollars a year before this, which... yeah. Absolutely horrid that Nintendo fucking does this, as if such a large corporation needs percentages from some guy's income. Fucking jell

Former President Donald Trump on Tuesday expanded his barrage of online attacks against special counsel Jack Smith, who heads the investigations into Trump's handling of classified documents and alleged incitement of the Jan. 6 Capitol attack, to go after the prosecutor's family and friends, a move some experts say could push him closer to federal prison.

"COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO THE DERANGED, TRUMP HATING JACK SMITH, HIS FAMILY, AND HIS FRIENDS, THAT AS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I COME UNDER THE PRESIDENTIAL RECORDS ACT, AS AFFIRMED BY THE CLINTON SOCKS CASE, NOT BY THIS PSYCHOS' FANTASY OF THE NEVER USED BEFORE ESPIONAGE ACT OF 1917," Trump posted to Truth Social early Tuesday, repeating oft-touted defenses about his exoneration via the Presidential Records Act that legal experts told Salon were null and void.

"'SMITH' SHOULD BE LOOKING AT CROOKED JOE BIDDEN AND ALL OF THE CRIMES THAT HE HAS PERPETRATED ON THE AMERICAN PUBLIC, INCLUDING THE MILLIONS & MILLIONS OF DOLLARS HE EXTORTED FROM FOREIGN COUNTRIES!" he continued.

New York University history professor Ruth Ben-Ghiat, who is a scholar of authoritarianism, told HuffPost that Trump's comment "smells of desperation."

"Once again, Trump is acting like a Mafia boss and also stringing as many propaganda slogans together as possible," she said.

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

ordered pizza from a small local place and they didnt actually cut it so i've chosen to revert to a wild animal and begin ripping it apart instead of just using a knife to portion slices

absolutely visceral experience. food is so much more satisfying when you have to fight it. i may be feral

i am not proud to say this but that pizza lasted fifteen minutes. i normally am not that gluttonous, but this goes beyond glutton. there was gluttony and wrath. a whirlwind of sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, all atop a flatbread that was shred apart by my own hands due to the neglect of another

in that moment i was wild. i was free. i understood the simplest joys in life. the joy of eating and manifesting my own destiny

been reflecting on this all day and the unsliced pizza experience honestly ruled. i think everyone should try it sometime or another. you have not truly lived until you just absolutely obliterated a pizza in such a feral manner

is this you

yes

run

My best friend and I have this tradition we call “chicken dinner” where we get a rotisserie chicken, lay it on a tarp, start on opposite ends of the tarp, and on the count of three we both run at the chicken and start ripping into it with our bear hands. We will be on our knees fighting for the best pieces of meat, ripping into the chicken with our faces, and it is the most viscerally delicious chicken I have ever had in my life. Grease gets everywhere. We have to do this outside. We have to tie our hair in buns beforehand.

You have never known the joy of food until you are lunging at your friend to rip the best part of the chicken out of their hand, rolling around on the tarp, stuffing it in your face before they can retaliate, and you realize “holy shit did I just growl?” And then you realize they are doing it too.

The chicken gets decimated. It’s absolutely destroyed. We aren’t allowed back inside until we have been hosed down. It’s the best.

Oh ye of little faith.

People across the street looking through the blinds, "Harold! Harold come quick, they're doing the chicken thing again!"

Reblog for sample size! It must be settled!

Christians would not be able to cope with being treated the way they treat others.

Christians are dangerous predators that should not be allowed to use public restrooms.

Medical personnel should be allowed to refuse treatment to Christians; medical providers should not be forced to accept their depraved lifestyle.

Christian marriages are disgusting and should not be recognized by the government.

There should be a minimum age limit of practicing Christianity. One should have to be at least 25 before they can have any exposure to it, so they're mentally developed enough to understand the consequences of belonging to a fascist, genocidal institution.

Wearing a cross is public indecency. And grossly inappropriate propaganda.

Everyone knows priests and preachers are groomers. Christian Panic is an appropriate legal defense to killing them.

Christians are causing a moral decline in society. There should be armed protests at all of their gatherings.

Businesses should be allowed to fire Christians on moral grounds.

It violates owner's religious rights when they have to shut down for Christian holidays, so they should be able to require Christians to work on those days.

It's completely appropriate for people who support to bodily autonomy rights to bomb churches that preach against abortion.

Can you imagine the mass panic if Christians were actually treated the way their victims are?

Sharing the secrets of your hearth with strangers who will never be able to meet or thank you. Honoring the dead through learning their traditions of the home; emulation and exaltation. A good carrot cake.

@autistic-af hi, think you'd like this :)

Omg, I LOVE this!