i’m gonna say what we’re all thinking: those baby monkeys were problematic a.f. for preferring cloth mother over wire mother

they just hate strong women

A young, talented scientist named Yzma (played by Ariana Grande) stumbles onto a plot orchestrated by a corrupt empire. She vows to stop them but in the process, her entire family is crushed by a stampede of llamas. In her despair, she gets her potions mixed up and accidentally drinks from a vial that ages her 80 years and renders her scary beyond all reason. Yzma swears revenge on the newly born emperor, Kuzco. Kronk is her love interest and played by one of the hot guys from Riverdale.

Salman Khoshroo on Instagram

just cook it after your shower

*vomits up a dinosaur-shaped sponge* alright who switched out my pills

Oh gawd every time you think it's over it gers BETTER

🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻

This is about 400% funnier said out loud.

Also, this is exactly the kind of thing my high school friends and I would memorize for shits and giggles

confession: when i was in high school my best friend used to steal a ton of clothes from the busted-ass target in town and then walk across the street and sell them at plato’s closet and she called it her job. i’d be like “where are you?” and she’d be like “at work” and i’d know she was just robbing a target blind lmao 

i fucking hate when people on this site post words and phrases from my thoughts just to flex that they’re reading my mind

“Cock Penis”

fucking stop.

Me when my players are trying to guess the answer to a puzzle

The reading comprehension on this website……….

i love stupid people more than anything ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

this is literally what it was like assisting at a preschool 💀

The addition of emojis like 🥰☺️💝 make these statements so much more potent

world heritage post

twitter operates on a kind of inverse of bidoof's law where you'll see some batshit hot take and check the profile but instead of porn you find out that they're like a state senator or a ceo or something

the other day i started writing an office romance but i quickly remembered that i have no idea what working in an office is like

as opposed to your vast personal expertise in romance?

Self help tip: If u feel hate in ur heart, let it out in the arena

Grandma said i cant go to the arena….

No one’s saying you can’t make grammas house the arena. Gramma had it too good for too long…

My Gramma is dead

The Arena has taken another warrior

.

weatherboy (derogatory)

op what does this mean

wouldn't you like to know weatherboy

PUPARIA - Shingo Tamagawa