You belong with me. 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤

Letter on my site :)

oh my godddddd!!!!!!!!!! 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤

I’ll be 30 this year.  Here’s some advice I wish I knew for my 20s:

- Don’t shake hands with men.  I was a janitor and I never had to refill the soap box in the mens bathroom.  Like 60% of them just walk right out without even looking at the sink.  It’s gross.

That’s it.  Good luck.

me telling a lie

Jarec Wentworth, a straight man well-known for not wrecking men's walls

wait didn't he go to jail?

Nothing bad, he extorted a republican donor out of a fuck ton of money lol

I’m not seeing the part where he did something illegal

IM SORRY WHAT?!?!?!

you know what, I guess I got mixed up cuz I can't find what I was thinking of when I wrote those tags, but yeah there have been a few murderers that worked for Sean Cody

this was meant to be a simple meme but I'm really enjoying all this tea!

Reblog if you support asexuals and aren’t a COWARD

RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!

me, watching my moots reblog this post

Better fucking support my bestfriend. :)

I’ve been laughing at this all day

CHILDHOOD BACK

AND CALVIN IS WITH THE GIRL THAT HATED HIM ASFHAGS

im crying a lil bit

I need this in my tumblr forever.

is anyone gonna talk about how his kids name is bacon???

HE’S WITH SUZIE THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OTP

who names their kid bacon

Calvin and Hobbes were Reformation-era philosophers, as was Frances Bacon. I’m better his daughter’s name is actually Frances, but he calls her by the appropriate last name of the philosopher, just as Calvin and Hobbes are last names.

is no one gonna talk about how the girls afraid of Donald Trump in her closet

I think we’re all afraid of Donald Trump in our closet

I’m going to keep reblogging this until it is an actual ongoing comic.

Mr Bun was Susie’s (Calvin’s wife) childhood toy :)

Dec 4: Remember that time we learned Clark Kent totally peeked at all his Christmas presents with his X-Ray vision? (Justice League, “Comfort and Joy”)

Because Clark is awesome and loves christmas.

remember that time we learned clark kent is a grown man who still believes santa exists

He’s an alien and a superhero who knows other superheros in a world with a talking telepathic Gorilla, ofc he believes, anything is game.

Thats because Father Christmas/Santa Claus totally DOES exist in the DC universe, and  every year, without fail, Santa fights through Apokolips’ defenses just to give a lump of coal to Darkseid.

He W H A T

*sees same stranger three times on campus in one day* what are we

Instagram

i feel targeted

Oof this is my very essence.

why did my neighbors name their wifi network this

what’s the point of having a wifi network and not naming it something like this

Oh the fun you can have with network naming…

…

This is my joy.

This made me look at networks near me and: 

Ученым удалось впервые получить фото кота Шредингера в момент перехода между квантовыми состояниями….

This is a brilliant piece of the tumblr art genre.

i appreciate thats drastically harder then making a ‘correct’ cake

That is a goddamn FEAT of culinary engineering.

Loving that OP isn’t even calling out the place by name.

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.

Me:

Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

Daughter: /nods seriously/

Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

The kids are right Jazz

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A good librarian.

Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

I don’t have chronic pain but this artwork is so nice to look at *^*

Just because we’re not writhing on the floor doesn’t mean we’re not hurting. We’ve just gotten really good at hiding it and functioning with it, otherwise we’d literally starve in our beds.

This also works pretty well for numerous mental disabilities, or just generally for any “invisible” disabilities.