Yuko Nakamura (Japan)
Ok I'm done with summer, give me cozy weather, rain, gold leaves falling off the trees, spooky atmosphere and dark, wet woods.
forgiveness does not mean re-entry. i can simply forgive you and still never deal with you again. i will never give or allow anyone the opportunity to play in my face twice.
“August, I am not begging- be gentle these waning days of summer. I demand it of you.”
— last call || O.L.
From How to Be Perfect by Ron Padgett
[ID text: "Hope for everything. Expect nothing. / Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room / before you save the world. Then save the world. / Know that the desire to be perfect is probably the veiled expression / of another desire--to be loved, perhaps, or not to die." end ID]
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
i look back at photos of me from my years of high school and i have the horrifying realization that i wasn’t ever really fat. granted, i was never the “skinny friend,” but the girl i saw in the mirror every day since the 5th grade was never someone i’d have called beautiful or even pretty. i always felt overweight. i always looked overweight. and looking back and seeing her as the woman i am today, i feel so hurt and betrayed by myself. i hurt the girl that i was so much, i hate to say i still do sometimes, all because i couldn’t see myself. i still don’t think i can. but it pains me to think just how many years i spent terrified of my own skin, destroying my own skin, in punishment for something that was never there. i suppose i have my mother to thank for some of it. i wonder if i’ll ever learn? i can only hope that the habits pushed onto me aren’t replicated by my own daughter. i hope i can heal to be the woman she looks up to.
Heal, so you can recognize genuine relationships with pure intentions when they show up without sabotaging them.
