btw if you want to add me on mast/odon, i’m @luka@cutie.city
it's actually so funny how challenging it is to write bona fide graphic, horny smut. like people don't give smut writers enough credit. you are constantly running out of words to describe the same 2-4 body parts and same 4-6 motions. you are constantly attempting to do interesting and dynamic things in the prose with this extremely limited set of words. you are looking at your prose for the nastier bits and wondering if it actually sounds hot or if it just sounds goofy. you are then toning down your prose and then wondering if it now sounds tasteful or if it's just boring. you do ctrl+F for the word "cock" and there are 37 instances of it in the doc but you hate the 1-2 acceptable synonyms so there's nothing much you can do about it
special shout-out to authors of smut with several people with the same pronouns, ESPECIALLY if you resist the use of epithets.
I was listening to a Sherlock Holmes audiobook with automatically generated subtitles and it uhhh got a little bit confused over a particular name.
Was this a productive use of my Sunday afternoon? Questionable.
Did I have fun? Definitely.
OP, this was the best possible use of your Sunday afternoon and you have immeasurably enriched my existence.
Making this one Sunday afternoon literally diverted the course of my life in a really awesome way.
Seriously.
That sounds like a story I would love to hear (if you are ever overcome by the desire to tell it).
it is really weird what like. 4 years perspective on something you believed fully to your core will do
“yeah disappointment and heartbreak when plans or friends or romance doesnt work out hurt me too badly so now i just dont do that stuff or really hope for anything or get invested in anyone/anything anymore that way i can be surprised by nice happy things and bad stuff is just expected”
and my roommate at the time looked horrified and said “thats bad Bee??? thats so sad” and i didnt know what to say because id thought what i said was normal/a positive coping mechanism
btw this is, in my instance, the result of autistic burnout and childhood neglect. if you get so used to your needs and expectations not being met you learn to not have them because it is your only means of survival.
some people get angry and express their pain and are called ‘difficult’, some people shave themselves away until theres barely anything left and disappear to become ‘easier’. learning that disappearing to be easier on those around me was not kindness but, meaningless self destruction was a core part of learning how not to die.
Wilson + making House smile
I like you. I have fun with you.
The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924
theroomyouneverenter
whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible
happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate
Anonymous asked:
https://www.tumblr.com/midiport/722013570222751744
You do have to find a white man to hold hostage to grill sometimes yes.
If you cannot find a white man or are worried about getting arrested for kidnapping, you can easily substitute for simply inviting a Butch lesbian. She can be bribed by a good blackstone grill.
I do enjoy that one text says “Pringle?” while another says “Pringles?”, possibly implying that at one time the situation called only for a solitary Pringle.
this was so wild
Someone explain
The first sentence says 32 and 13 implying that the speaker is 32 years old and their girlfriend is 13 years old, which is both highly inappropriate and illegal. The next sentence reveals the speaker was talking about their game levels, not their ages, which is perfectly okay.
In their reply to the audience they then say they are picking her up from middle school, again implying that their girlfriend is underage, but quickly state she’s grading papers letting us know she’s a teacher, definitely an adult, and there no reason to be upset.
The rollercoaster gif portrays how switching from upset and worried to relieved in such a short period of time feels emotionally.
The next meme shows the guy panicking from misunderstanding, then feeling relieved and calm realizing the truth, only to panic over the next misunderstanding and then calm again when hearing the end.
amishsicario
the above explanation is followed by a picture of data from star trek with a speech bubble's tail coming out of him, implying he's the one saying all of that, which is humerous because the above text is written in a style similar to his speech patterns, and with a subject matter he would enjoy
This is the worst website ever and I love it.
I’d rather see Tumblr die than see it stop being like this.
Adventures with Superman is literally everything I want in a Superman series.
A wholesome and down to earth take on a superman who is not only looks like a ton of bricks but is also a sweet cinnamon roll who has a genuine desire to help people no matter who they are.
I also looove how kind this version of superman has like one of the most kindest smiles I’ve seen in any iteration. Literally already becoming one of my fav interpretations of the character.
and then they adopted each other and lived happily ever after, the end (HA)
so yeah, go watch Nimona, it's great
Everyone freaking out bc they just saw the director confess to MURDERING THE QUEEN!!
Nimona and Ballister:
