Madame Director Lucretia

tlt fans spread this to your non-tlt followers but please do not vote. i genuinely want to see what people think the lie is.

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

always so scary to see a placw you’ve been irl online. like what are you doing on here

💯🙏💛🟨👍

Worst part about this is I've only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn't who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is

It's June 1. It's time.

Go be gay.

Looks like fanfiction.net is gone. Probably should have backed up the fic I had there. Woops. Too late now.

Okay, this is very weird. The green leafy thing is what I’m seeing but apparently there are multiple people who can still access the site? I’m very confused right now.

m.fanfiction.net is still active. if you remember any fics from here and their authors aren’t around to back them up, now’s your chance to do it yourself.

I was recently asked to name 3 of the Great Lakes during a mental eval and now I'm curious about just how standard it actually is for people to know them, so

friends

gonna have to call off work with a serious case of "sleepy kitty lying on my chest so I can't get up" I'm sure they'll understand

I should have stayed in bed

IM ALREADY OBSESSED WITH MY GOOD FRIEND JONATHAN HARKER’S FULLY SOUND EDITED VOICEMAILS

One of my favorite things about Dracula Daily this year is how many people have decided that poor Jonathan is trapped in a time loop

reblog please and tell me why you chose your answer. is it a regional thing like color/colour and favourite/favorite? do you simply spell it as you saw it in books as a child? is this something you do not care about to any extent at all? let me know in the tags

Nobody talks about how hobbies like crochet and knitting have suspense, anxiety, and gambling involved and it’s all thanks to a self inflicted game called yarn chicken

You're reincarnated as the animal you get in the random animal generator (link: https://perchance.org/animal )

Poll originally by reddit user QuelynD

Feel free to share what animal you got.

[id: a photo of a mole coming out of the ground. /end id]

welcome to another episode of culture shock today question is :

for example: you're eating at italian restuarant

sharing food: you order 3-4 things (spaghetti/pizza etc) for your family and share so you can eat every dish on the table

ordering seperate: you order 1-2 things and eat them all by yourself

rb your country in the tag i want to know if this is an asian thing or not

“We controlled our kids and kept them ignorant as long as we could so they’d be good little authoritarians like us! Education ruined all of our hard work!”

perhaps one of my hotter takes as a queer person but i’m never coming out again. you can figure it out or live in pure ignorance but either way it’s not my problem. the worst thing society ever tried to teach us was that coming out is an obligation. it’s not. it’s a privilege for you to know the depths of who i am, my sexuality included.