Time goes by fast when it’s irrelevant

I need the Universe to give me

S o m e T h i n G

I need to know things will be okay.

~The EMPTY trombone~

I’m battling myself to a new extreme. I had thought Ive traveled to an from the darkest places before.... boy’ was I wrong.

Even death could not save me from myself..

So where do I go... Where do I turn to?

When even the way out, is now just another place I have to run from. I have no place to hide, I am incontrollably crawling out of my skin day & night with nowhere to crawl too.

How can one person have so much to Say. Feel. Think.

yet I am the definition of E M P T Y

I’m in a really dark, heavy, intoxicating place mentally. Different type of dark channel that I have never been on. A darkness of neutral zones where everything is so set in stone. A tug of war between my body’s exhausted & motivatonless charge vs. my minds what’s the point of doing anything anyways. Where death is no longer a way out, instead it has become another obstacle of the “things to run from” race.

I feel like that person who randomly spews out those negative/hurting comments.

For ex: nobody cares about me, I got myself cuz nobody got me, everything I say doesn’t matter, why do I even speak, I’m irrelevant anyways

Then those feelings where half the things said to you, regardless of the subject, are twisted in your little brain of sorrow & turned into intoxicating negative opinions about yourself

I’m truly so sad

Alone

Empty

Hurting

Right now. My existence is depleting.

I just want to exist to somebody