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hhhhh

@lucentprince

Nikki 24 he/him

The funniest kind of pet are the cats that are somehow bad at being a cat. Somehow they know this. They'll do their best to do the kind of things a cat should do and then fuck up at it, and they'll look at you when you laugh, all serious like "dude can you fucking not, can't you see I'm trying." And you try not to laugh. But how the hell does a cat suck at being a cat.

Thank you for the humbling reminder of everyone who's commented to remark of how many of us also suck at being human.

A character: A wizard-school drop out who only ever learned one spell, who travels the country as a specific kind of healer - he casts out devils that were hiding in your body that were making you act like a dick. There's a whole show of presentation as he explains the whole process and where the devils are hiding in you - and particularly cantankerous potential clients/patients get the same diagnosis: You've got devils up your ass. That's why you're like that.

For a small fee he'll agree to cast them out of you, and if you're part of that particular clientele, the whole village is going to be there to see a whole flock of devils flying out of your ass. And now you're better. Most of the people buying the service instantly feel relieved once they see all the devils flying out, and more than one instantly apologises to whoever they insulted most recently.

Everyone knows that he's probably some kind of a charlatan, but nobody can really dispute his claims because they don't know enough about how healing magic is supposed to work. The truth is, the sense of relief is mostly just placebo, and the rest is adrenaline from the shock of seeing a whole flock of devils. Several people have used the service deliberately as a convenient way to back out of whatever fight they started while saving face and not having to admit to having been wrong - apologising for the slight, and explaining to the offended party that it's not that they were being an idiot, it was those devils making them act like that, you see.

The real truth is, it's not even a healing spell. The only spell he knows is how to create the illusion of a flock of devils manifesting out of nowhere. He'll make them shoot out of your ass if you're rude to him because he's personally just kind of a dick.

clownfish be like "i know a spot" and take you to a fucking deadly sea organism

0rdi-deactivated20211118

This post would’ve been a lot better if you didn’t say the f word. Grow up.

yes hello i am very sorry to hear of your lack of satisfaction. if you'll just follow me to the suggestion box its just inside here

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“did they actually kiss in the movie” what would i stand to gain from lying about two animated men swapping spit. and fire

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what the fuck ever

e-seal-deactivated20210319
stopstopstopstopstopp-deactivat

lets take it a step further and acknowledge that generation discourse--

 which, for the most part is “haha old people are all racist and are ruining the planet” 

--not only ignores the realities of elderly and middle aged PoC, but also implies that white millenials and gen-z’rs arent/cant be racist when that simply isnt the case. 

Hold still. This creature was recorded going 2,569 days without moving.
Salamanders play the long game, with many species living surprisingly long lives. But among these enduring amphibians, there is one outlier – the olm, also known as the proteus.
It has been well documented that these small white cave-dwelling salamanders can live well into their hundreds, but scientists have now gained new insight into the creatures’ glacial pace of life.
In a study which makes sloths look recklessly hyperactive, divers documenting the movements of olms in Herzegovinian caves found that over a decade, individuals tended to move less than 10 metres in total.
However, one extraordinarily inert individual was found not to have bothered moving once in over seven years.
Olms have no predators, are highly resistant to starvation – able to go without food for several years – are blind and live in complete darkness underground and underwater.
They are apparently only compelled to move in order to mate, which they do on average around once every 12.5 years.
In the caves in which they dwell food is typically scarce, but when they are able, olms feed on small crustaceans such as small shrimps, snails and occasionally insects.
Read the full article here.
Photo credit here via Getty
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*wakes up after 12.5 years* oh god i have to fuck

AND have enough left over to treat themselves and take vacations. If you have a class of people who don't have the money/time/resources/permission* to go on a trip, because they gotta work all the time, that's slavery.

*managers in retail and food service especially seem to think that an employee putting in a PTO "request" is a request, when really it is advice, Prepare The Others, because I won't be here.

Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.

I’m a guidance counselor/psychologist for teenagers and it’s getting really hard to motivate young people to work for a future they don’t believe in. 

 They look at ther future and see global warming, wwIII, unemployement, political unstability, poison in everything  they eat, the earth and animals dying all around them. 

I saw this video where someone was asking french teens in the 50s how they imagine the future would be. The war hadn’t been over for long and yet it was all positive with like peace and flying cars and such. Then they went and ask the same questions to nowadays teens and hell that was depressing. Some still had hope, but it was just that “well I hope I’ll have a nice house and maybe some kid” but there was such a hesitancy to it, like they didn’t dare to hope too much. 

People mock Greta Thunberg but what they don’t get is that when she said “you stole my dreams”, it was the truth. 

Young people don’t get to dream like they used to. They don’t dream anymore, they grief all that won’t be anymore and that’s just so fucking sad. 

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The fact that both the tweet and these reblogs are pre-pandemic makes this post even worse

billy porter did not absolutely pop off with that met gala look only for some of y'all to call harry styles the king of camp i-

Okay look.  LOOK.

Harry looks pretty good for a straight boy.  It’s classy and campy and he looks good.

But if we’re talking King of Camp (shouldn’t it be Queen of Camp, really?  Just saying), he doesn’t even make the rankings!

Hamish Bowles, Vogue editor:

Ryan Murphy:

Jordan Roth (who owns at least one broadway theater, thus the theme):

Michael Urie:

Darren Criss, who’s on the more subdued side:

And then the aforementioned Billy Porter, who arrived ON A VELVET LITTER CARRIED BY SIX SHIRTLESS MEN:

Harry is basically a WALLFLOWER compared to these glorious looks.  How anyone could call that boy the “king of camp” is beyond me.

I feel like Jordan Roth’s look loses a LOT of impact if you only see him with it open and not the full transition

HE’S NOT JUST WEARING A THEATER, HE’S WEARING A THEATER THAT YOU CAN OPEN AND CLOSE THE CURTAIN ON

Harry Styles fans are truly unwell, I have never seen a person so undeserving of their last name.

Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.

Or they’re also trying to kill Dracula, but exclusively during the parts of the book when he’s turned into a bat.

Dracula invited a human realtor and a mouse realtor to his castle and there were extended periods of time where he would say to his human realtor “Ah please excuse me I have business to attend to” and turn into a bat to talk to his mouse realtor.

ART for this amazing idea!

Since they’re supposedly to be mice who exist in the same world as the actual Dracula characters I made up some names for them: Featuring our heroine “Lina Lorrey”, her very stressed fiancé “Jeremy Barker” her dear doomed friend “Lily Easton” who becomes “The Blue Fur Lady”

And of course Dracula as himself

(Definitely wanna do a proper line up of the rest of the characters at some point but here’s what I had time/energy for atm)

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idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

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the lack of dykes n more specifically butch dykes in post apocalyptic media is bizarre bc every single lesbian i know is the most prepared person in any room n not even for survivalist reasons we do that shit for fun

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exactly