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meme of consciousness

@ltlexay

The baddest bitch crying in this Maccas carpark
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If I was a popular Tumblr blogger, I could go on here and say "my yaoi balls and my yuri nuts hurt" and receive notes one million billion. But alas. The peasant must toil the field.

*aheem*

My YAOI BALLS and my YURI NUTS HURT!

*humble peasant's bow*

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ltlexay
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from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator 

mine is “retired babygirl” and that’s hilarious

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paperjoshi

orthodox cishet

I.. I’m a trans lesbian………..

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prokopetz

My sexual identity is Error 502 – Bad Gateway.

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ltlexay
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where is that renaissance painting with those two fellers and a giant fucking random skull on the floor that looks like it was accidentally stretched out in photoshop

somebody please explain

Someone once told me it’s like that because it was designed to be hung in a stairwell so the skull pops out as you walk past.

…I guess it works but you have to be at a pretty sharp angle

There was a whole trend at one point where artists would include something in their paintings (usually a skull, for whatever reason) that’s super distorted in just the right way so that it looks normal if you hold the painting up to a convex/concave mirror. I have absolutely no idea why. But I think that’s what’s going on here.

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crtter

In case anyone’s curious, here’s what it looks like when you walk past it irl:

It does have a 3D effect to it! It’s pretty neat, guess it would be even more impressive to people from the 14th century.

honestly, people just looking at the skull are missing the real deal here

You can read any implied text you see in this thing, even the book, that’s how detailed it is. Look at the painting on those letters!

jesus christ you’re just showing off now, Hans!

HANS OH MY GOD

anyway, the skull apparently had some meaning about the transcendence of death, you can only see it clearly when you can’t see the world clearly and vice versa, but man, I’m all about the detail in this guy’s shit

No, I think you’re missing the real deal here

as an art historian, i think this is the best post on tumblr

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anyone who's more of a hater than me is a mentally disturbed freak who deserves to be put down and anyone who's less of a hater than me is a naive moron who will be eaten alive by the wolves. anyone who's as much of a hater as me is my lover

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sephiramy

me messaging a casual acquaintance: hello, how are you?

me messaging a best friend w/zero lead-in:

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The band, the music, the dance.

puts on sound 📣🎶🎵

Ok, I NEED you to understand just how insane even ATTEMPTING this was for them.

1. Playing an instrument is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Don’t think I’m stepping on any toes saying that.

2. Dancing is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Still not controversial.

3. YOU AVOID, AT ALL COSTS, MOVING YOUR BODY WHILE PLAYING A WIND INSTRUMENT.  To make the correct, pleasant sounds, you need to be in the correct form. And that form involves your ENTIRE body, even your legs when sitting down.

4. “oh, but I’ve seen marching bands before and-” MARCHING BANDS HAVE ENTIRE SCIENTIFIC FIELDS DEDICATED TO FIGURING OUT HOW TO MARCH WITH MINIMUM BREAKING OF PROPER FORM. A marching band tries to be as smooth as possible while moving, so as not to jar their instrument, mouth, neck, arms, torso, or anything else.These ladies and gentlemen are BOUNCING and still playing properly, what the FU-!

5. AND ANOTHER THING! Wind instruments and dancing BOTH make demands on your breathing, so the fact that they are dancing (making you breath faster for extra oxygen) AND playing wind instruments (making you effectively hold your breath) AT THE SAME TIME is HUGE. Their lungs must be MASSIVE.

All of that also; the song is Sing, sing, sing (with a swing). If you wanna listen to some of THE SPICIEST big band ever recorded. Its a big hard song and this band does it expertly.

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shaaknaa

As someone who was once in Marching Band and knows what to look for? Yeah, these kids are keeping their "stable platform" really well. If you keep a firm look at their torsos, they *don't* bounce. They are moving in smooth lines or swinging with the entire torso. The dact that they're doing that with kicks is very impressive. That had to have taken a ton of practice.

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lookoflove

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

brother dubious

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need a watership down stageplay like cats where a bunch of gruff blokes from hampshire kill each other while wearing bunny ears

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i spent a lot of time on this and it doesn't look as good as i would like it to but it's ok i'm still alive