anyone else grieving & mourning & lamenting & kicked apart by nostalgia & going silently about their lives?

Rob Strati | The Fall from Fragmented series, 2022 | broken china, ink on paper

@robstrati

https://www.instagram.com/p/CTixpWYhmJS/

i miss myself

please never stop talking passionately about the things you love

Ok Taecyeon as Seon Woo Hyeol & Won Ji An as Joo In Hae Heartbeat 가슴이 뛴다 (2023) – Ep. 12

I don’t think you heard me…

I am a spilled glass of wine soaking up love like bread.

My body spells out the word prey far better than it tears apart flesh.

I say the word “and” a lot because I never know when to stop. You’ll have to tell me to stop. It will hurt my feelings but you’ll have to do it anyway.

The things we touch sometimes never leave us. How can they, how do you feel what you once felt a second time without calling yourself obsessed?

-It’s getting bad again and you aren’t here for me to talk to. (telling the web everything I want to tell you: a series) phoebe.a.poetry via Instagram

My mother says I have such a soft heart that some people don’t know how to hold it without hurting me. I want to tell her that love is why mold is growing inside of me turning my bones tender and squeezable like a rotting peach you forgot was on the counter. And I don’t think anyone ever meant to hurt me, I don’t think they thought about me enough to try. My ninth grade English teacher use to call me a little weirdo. She noticed that I could see the world differently, that I could label almost everything unintentional. Like a payer off someone’s open mouth after a sin. I always say please breathe me in, consume me, even if they spit me back up seconds later.

Text ID: “Sometimes,” said Julia, “I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there’s no room for the present at all.”

— phoebe.a.poetry via Instagram [You’ve read this story before, it always ends the same]

Do you ever think about heaven? That your childhood dog is laying in endless sun or someone’s grandmother is watching birds from a kitchen window or that there is a lake that never freezes nor does the water slip through fingers…? Nothing hurts and everything stays in place. Bookshelves stack up against the sky and blend in with the sunset. Lips stay on lips until the dinner bell is rung and they can feast. Something is always happening or nothing is happening and neither thought makes you sick. You can sit crisscross in the middle of a home and feel arms wrap around you. Time is endless and constant and there is no keeping track. I think about heaven the most on Sundays, and then come Monday I wake up and go to work.

the thing that gets me about about barbie is that barbie land wasn’t even purposefully a matriarchy, barbie land came about because of the way little girls were playing with their barbies, it wasn’t created by mattel it was created by the people using the toys, so the fact that the barbies ignored the ken’s and had girls night every night wasn’t because they had some bias against him, it was just an accurate depiction of how kids play with barbies. I had some ken dolls as a child and they were essential to the plot in the sense that of course my barbie has a boyfriend because that represented the world i saw around me, but also he didn’t have any purpose in my dream world because i was only interested in what the girls were doing because they represented me and how i wanted to be, I wanted girls night every night I wanted the girls to be president and austronauts and not because of some inherent feminist idea but because I was a girl and I wasn’t thinking about boys, ken was an accessory. this movie wasn’t made to change the world but it showed a different perspective than what we usually see which I thought was fun. Men don’t have to be the centre of all our stories and its not even because we hate them, sometimes we’re just not thinking about them

I tried to be good, am I no good? Am I no good? Am I no good?

untitled, Geloy Concepcion // Seventeen Going Under, Sam Fender // untitled, traumatizeddfox // Two People, Sam Fender // The War of Vaslav Nijinsky, Frank Bidart // Hard Times, Ethel Cain // Child Wearing a Red Scarf, Eduoard Vuillard // Complex, Katie Gregson Macleod // Funeral by Phoebe Bridgers, malaak // Too Much Wine, The Handsome Family // untitled, milklump // untitled, dying-weeds // Strangers, Ethel Cain

dudes who are normal will be like im joker insane but women who have not felt real since they were seven will be like im average normal

I think I’ve always been angry. On the verge of screaming or tears or madness. That since birth there has been blood underneath my fingernails. My guilty pleasures taste the same. I spend days soaking up people like a sponge just to ring them out afterward. I dissect them, like the frog I gutted in high school for science class. Organ by organ, thought by thought, you do this so I’m going to do that. For months I’ve been eating orange slices and opening my mouth to speak about codependency. There is a funeral everyday. A eulogy lodged in the back of my throat, cracking my ribs, spilling out every pore so I don’t choke to death on everything I’ve never said. And this anger isn’t evil, all it wanted was to feel safe. All I wanted was to feel safe.

— Phoebe Ana (phoebe.a.poetry Via Instagram)