There are two churches

So I’ve been thinking about the Jacob and Rennesme thing….and then I realized most people outside of the Mormon church do not realize there are in fact TWO LDS (Mormon) churches.

History time, when Brigham Young declared polygamy was against God’s wishes most Mormon’s followed happily. Some did not and formed the FLDS(Fundamental LDS) church. This sect still allowed polygamy and it still exists today. Here’s the thing, up until about 6-7 years ago (2013-2014) they would abduct young Mormon girls to improve the bloodline. S Meyer realistically had one if not more friends who were taken in to the FLDS. Some go willingly because “SIster Wives” made it sound like fun. Some of the girls in this sect are married off at the ripe old age of 8….you read that right EIGHT YEARS OLD because at 8 you can be baptized under the theory you know right and wrong.

Now I know NOT ALL FLDS DO THIS, however, enough do that you can bank on her having knowledge of it and possible having lost a friend to it. Assuming she didn’t grow up in it to begin with this is probably where the idea of Jacob imprinting on a baby came from because in RARE cases a man would CLAIM an infant as his future bride.

I grew up in and around Mormons, to this day I am one of the few members of my family that are not Mormon. So I have been in towns and seen the single family that looks like three come in to shop and eat, I have been in a store when I was told to hold on to the cart because there were more males with them than normal. It’s terrifying and objectifying and its conceivable that she wrote it in there knowing we would hate it because she hated it. Or because she experienced it. I am in no way apologizing for this disaster, it just dawned on me that this is where she got it from.

Watching reddit refugees and native tumblrinas intermingle is like that scene from the Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, where all the lions realize that the only thing that separates them is mud and they shouldn't fight because they're family.

Except the mud is crippling social anxiety and the family is a rotting capitalist system that ruined both our respective sites, but in different ways.

hakuna matata.

"The poverty rate among black MARRIED COUPLES has been in single digits ever since 1994. You would never learn that from most of the media. "

Thomas Sowell (1930-) American economist.

WHEN WAS SOMEONE GONNA TELL ME THAT TUMBLR IS RUNNING ADS ON REDDIT RIGHT NOW???

Come and be delighted!! Or horrified as the case may be!

Watching the difference between the Twitter migration mentality vs. the Reddit migration mentality is fucking hilarious.

Like, when Twitter users started moving over here everyone was pulling out all the stops and bringing back old fandoms that they were into and basically firing rent lowering shots by being super cringey.

And then all of the sudden when the Reddit refugees start showing up we're like, "ah yes, pull up a log and gather around the dumpster fire. We'll teach you how to not get killed by people hunting down bots and carve out a little area for you guys to relax and get used to the site before we throw you into the deep end of this hellsite that we call home. Tomorrow is Let Papyrus say Fuck day so you can prepare for that if you want. You want some hot coco and a blanket?"

To expand on the crumbling of the patriarchal edifice of the family.

If society agrees that children can know themselves, and have a right to self determination…. Everything else that Conservatives argue they have a right to exert over children crumbles. As just two examples….

ALL corporal punishment rightfully becomes recognised for the assault it is.

Failure to appropriately consider the wishes of children in medical care and provide information in an age appropriate way is recognised as child abuse and malpractice.

Children are entire people, they deserve all of the rights, privileges and protections afforded to adults.

Cancel culture strikes again

ten years of fighting and when shit hits the fan tumblr instantly has reddit's back. the greatest enemies to lovers story ever told.

you understand

am i doing it right?

wish i had a bit going where whenever i said "the prophecy" like three of my friends would repeat "the prophecy" in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player

okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around

which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards 

came back wrong but its from the perspective of the person who came back

Seeing pictures of yourself -the real you, the one people miss, the one people look for in your eyes- is like staring into a foggy mirror. The parts are there, you think, but the details are lost.

Someone who loves you makes you breakfast. You thank him and eat it despite the fact the eggs are too crisp on the sides and missing much needed salt. He says its how you like it, but that just makes that angry, unfettered itch in the back of your brain grow stronger.

How I used to like it, you want to say, how I used to be.

You grip your butter knife harder and light catches the polished metal. The glimpse you catch of yourself in the cutlery looks nothing like the photo on the mantle.

I’m sorry but no modern comedy will ever top this

x

Watching them start losing it is half the joy.

And if you're into women instead of men, I have some great news: the same technique applies for seducing autistic women!

You can in fact use this method to seduce autistic people of all genders!

Great news! This works for ADHD people as well!