it's a long way to go

Hi you and welcome here!

I'm lys and I opened this blog cause I needed a place to collect my thoughts about what I have been going through and what I'm learning, in order to understand everything and myself a bit more and try to heal.

Here you'll find: my posts about things I'm learning, my thoughts, my experiences, but also positive quotes and some other random stuff I'm interested into (books, music, learning languages and other similar things...)

Feel free to stop by and drop an ask if you need to vent about anything. Or share your opinion or experience, if you feel like. Or even share some things (images, songs, poems... anything) you find healing or nice, or help you go through your day. It'd be nice if we tried to help each other, don't you think?

We're all going through (and have been going through) a lot in our everyday life, I think the minimum we can do, is to try to lend an helping hand to someone else who probably right now cannot make it alone.

Please don’t hold back thinking “others are having it worse than me” cause your feelings are important too, it is not a competition, and if something is not making you feel good then you have to get it out of your chest and seek for a way to get better.

At the end of the day, we need to acknowledge our own persona and trauma or problem, and find a way to make ourselves feel better. Our own mental and physical health are the most important things ever.

Take care<3

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As said, I don't mind getting asks at all. Please send in whatever you want!

Just be mindful that if I'm not answering immediately is often because of me being in a different time zone than yours. Or having something to do that I cannot postpone. Don't ever think I'm not going to reply you or I am notconsidering you. That's not true.

To support me, you can buy me a ko-fi here. (dw, it's the correct link)

This is not my main blog. You may find me writing to you Anonymously (and signing as @loveyourlovelysoul) or from one of my two main blogs, @lysshome. I am also the owner of @psychelis-new.

Common # to navigate this blog:

#quotes #healing #life lessons #self love #relationships #friendships #recovery #family issues #parents #cptsd #anxiety #positivity #childhood trauma #letters to you #my story #languages

green are the leaves

blue the water of the seas

yellow the sun up in the sky

pink the memories that lie

about a time we were together

dreaming of staying as such forever.

accidental rainbow

it's so nice when you ask for help and nobody answers, right? yeah, feels so empowering.. ofc not, it's the total opposite: i'm just being ironic. but don't let this bring you down or make you think you have to deal with things on your own and/or you're not worthy of receiving help. ask again, shout it out, until someone answers you. someone will answer you.

Try. Allow yourself to believe you can have anything you want. You don't need any permission or confirmation to do this, just go after what you desire.

We're all different and we have started doing this for different reasons or as a consequence for different habits we've been unconsciously/unvoluntarily taught. Therefore, I feel I can only give you a few examples/points to think about: there's not a fixed plan that works for everyone, you need to experiment and see what works better for you and your specific situation. Also, always act accordingly with what you are willing and feeling like: some things may feel a bit too much, especially in the beginning, while we're trying to change our mental pattern. So respect and be compassionate towards yourself (this is important in the process). Go at your own pace and remember it's never easy to change the way we think. It takes a lot of time, courage and patience, and indeed practice. It's normal to fall back into the old cycle so be kind with yourself.

The first step imo (reminder I'm not a professional or anything) is to remind yourself of your worth and that you are deserving as anyone else. At least, give yourself the benefit of doubt, do not always turn your head saying "whatever, it'll never be for me". Most of us block themselves immediately on a mental level: we either feel not enough, or that we're doomed, and we need to be sure that the result/outcome will be in our favor before trying anything, but honestly we can never know for sure how things will be if we don't try and put ourselves out there and even allow ourselves to be wrong occasionally (without letting this influence our self worth: it is not defined by how successful we are -what is success even? It's different for everyone). And no, being wrong/not always getting what we want, is not a confirmation for our fears on a general level: it's just that that one specific thing may not be the way we want it to be, but what about the other 1000+?

So be it putting yourself and your needs first instead of others' (you're not selfish); asking for help even more than once, voicing your needs openly (you're not needy); taking a pause/break during a tough day (or even a normal cool day, you don't have to be tired to deserve a pause); starting the new endeavour you always wanted to try (you don't have to be the best or do anything more than enjoying it); giving yourself accolades or gifting yourself something tangible here and there (not saying you need to spend all your money on you, but every once in a while, remind yourself you deserve a little accolade to support yourself without feeling guilty about it); talking to that person you fear may not like you (you don't have to marry them/become besties on the spot, take one step at time); or applying for a job you fear you're not good enough to get (it doesn't matter if you are, and it's not up to you to decide);... just try: the worst that can happen is that you will stay exactly where you are but you'll learn something (that you can try and it can be okay, eg.) and be able to know for sure and try again in/with a different place/way/people... No one will judge you (and if it'll happen, it's them projecting their fears/insecurities on you, it's never about you).

Whatever you want to do, do not always wait for things to develop by themselves and prove your fears right: life can repeat itself only in the measure we let it do that, only if we keep acting the same way and keep ourselves in the same place (even unconsciously). But it can also surprise us at any given time, especially when we change and create our own chances. Be welcoming towards what can beautiful happen even if you don't know exactly what it is. Believe that something beautiful will happen to you. That on that specific day you can get that book you always wanted, eg. (and you will). Also, if by any chance you though this: Universe has not it against you. And even if it had, you can prove it wrong anytime. Just try and do something without the fear of being wrong or a failure (only people who are enough brave to try can fail, and they learn how to succeed this way: think how many times kids fall before learning how to stand and walk) and without creating resentment towards others who actually succeed (cause they give themselves the chance to try) or feeling like they're better than you because they do this. You can do this too if you allow yourself. You can do anything, actually. But ofc we all need time and practice, slow practice in trying and believing, to really get there.

I'm loving this tennis instructor dealing with a bunch of kids nearby where I am. He asked them to put their hands up if they wanted to keep playing. He spotted a kid putting his hand down after realizing he was the only one with a raised hand and therefore the instructor said to everyone: "Y'all have to think by yourself, about what YOU want to do. If you wanna play tennis you put your hand up, even if you're the only one of your group willing to and everyone else around you hasn't raised their hands. Don't care about what others want to do, you only need to care about what YOU want to do. I am asking you for this reason".