axel

cause of death: second hand embarrassment 

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

why is this so funny

In honor of me rejecting a boy today, here is my mom turning down a marriage proposal from a Fuckboy in the early 90s on national television. Enjoy.

I’m the dude continuously playing the guitar

@genlamar

i may be a terrible person but at least i say please and thank you and use my fucking blinker

omg ja

*cancels plans* sorry i can’t come i’m ugly

OK BUT ME

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

Boy he did a backflip death drop. Who tf would have known he’d be this much of a Delight.

date someone who would eat your butt like how Guy Fieri drinks

this officially ruined my night

do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

Wait what?

Straight men have WHAT NOW

my favorite thing about the spanish harry potter translation is that instead of calling voldemort “the dark lord,” they call him señor tenebroso, which basically means “mr. spooky”

the purge but in reverse everything is illegal for 24hrs so we all just go to bed and be quiet for a bit